Page 55 of Beneath Her Skin

The silence stretches comfortably, broken by Tiana’s whisper. “This is so…different.” My heart drops at those words.

Please don’t regret us.“We don’t have to talk about it,” I fumble for the right response.

“Wait.” She turns in my arms. When I don't find a trace of regret in her eyes, I release the breath I had been holding, instead that desire still burns bright with reassurance. “I have no clue what will happen after tonight when reality catches up to us, so let me say this. The first time Elias and I slept together, it wasn’t consensual, and many times after it wasn’t either.” My body goes rigid. While it doesn’t surprise me, knowing Tiana had to deal with that for so long feels like someone stabbed my gut, twisting the knife deeper with each word. “He said since we’re in a relationship it isn’t technically rape, but I never had anyone to talk about it with despite knowing it wasn’t right, but it was also all I knew…With you, it’s different. I feel alive, euphoric. You are like my own personal ecstasy. We don’t have to rush anything, but I want us to get our lives back on track together. You’re my person.”

“If he wasn’t already dead, I would’ve made his death so much worse.” I take her hands in mine, placing a kiss on them. “We have each other now. I will never hurt you. I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe, I promise. The scars we carry areheavy, but our strength will carry us further than either of us can imagine.”

“I won’t let you go again,” she whispers against my lips before stealing a kiss. “We should probably get dressed,” she exhales, almost laughing.

What we need is a shower,” I grumble. That pulls the laugh out of her. “Let’s get out of here, then I can bed you properly.”

She nudges me playfully before pushing up onto shaky legs. I sit upright .

One glance at our grimy clothes is all it takes for me to refuse putting my clothes back on. The look Tiana gives me tells me we’re on the same page.

“How about I grab us a clean set of clothes instead?” she suggests while stretching before lending me a hand, completely unbothered by the destruction around us.

“Lead the way.” I say, giving her hand a squeeze when I stand.

She stops at the gas canister. “Will you do the honors while I get a bag together?”

“I thought you’d never ask. I'll meet you in the room.”

I watch unabashedly as Tiana’s naked form sways up the stairs. Snapping into action once she’s gone, I douse everything with gas—the walls, the floors, the bodies, trailing my way up the stairs.

Dropping the half-emptied canister outside the bedroom door, I find a much cleaner, clothed version of my favorite girl throwing random shit into a backpack. While she’s distracted, I throw on the outfit she laid out on her bed.

“Damn, how do you look better in that outfit than me? I can’t even be mad about it.” Tiana says from behind me, sliding her arms down to my hips.

Twisting in her arms, I pull her in for a quick kiss before saying, “Are you ready to light this house on fire?”

The underlying implication hangs in the air between. She responds without hesitation. “Absolutely.” She tucks a joint behind her ear and takes a final sweep of the room before meeting my eyes with conviction. “Let’s go.”

I follow behind her, making sure to leave a generous amount of gas behind us until we reach the backdoor, tossing the tank inside before joining Tiana on the porch. She rests the joint between her lips and fumbles in her pockets for the lighter I grabbed. Lighting the tip for her, she takes a pull and brushes her lips against mine. I take the hint and inhale the smoke from her, leaving a chaste kiss before exhaling it.

Offering her the lighter, she exchanges it with the blunt. I stand right behind her as she burns down the remainder of her miserable past. They’re all dead now. Reduced to nothing but ash, victims of the monsters they created.

STEEPED IN RAGE

BY N. M. LAMBERT

CONTENT WARNING:

Please note this story depicts sensitive topics such as mentions of rape, mentions of attempted rape, mentions of abuse, stalking, extreme gore, male genital mutilation, misogyny, alcohol use, and drugging. I have tried my best to approach these potential triggers with sensitivity, but if you feel any of these topics may be triggering, please be aware.

1

“He picks on you because he likes you.”

“Boys will be boys.”

“She’s asking for it dressed like that.”

“Why don’t you smile more?”

“Your body, my choice.”

All my life, I’ve heard some variation of the above phrases, but it was the last one that finally broke me and made me realize I would never be seen as anything more than something to use. Something to fuck. Something to eventually hurt, maim, kill. I was no stranger to the sneers or the unsolicited dick pics and to the men who refused to take no for an answer, who thought I owed them just because of who I was,whatI was.

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