Page 41 of Life After

“Suzanne, I’m really not in a position to say. If you want answers, you should speak to Jen.”

“I can’t. The way I spoke to her last week, I’ll never see her again. She’llnevercome here again.” Suzanne’s stomach roiled at that. The look in Jen’s eyes as she left this house was something she never wanted to see again. “I just wish it could have been different. Because no matter what her past involves, it doesn’t change the fact that she made me incredibly happy.”

“I’m sorry. I could have eased it into the conversation better. But I don’t regret telling you. You have every right to know if someone has a criminal record, Suzanne.”

“John had a criminal record.” Suzanne snorted.

“He did?” Tracy seemed shocked by that, but it wasn’t something Suzanne had ever shared with anyone. Because it wasn’t anyone else’s business.

“Fraud. He did five years inside before we met.”

“I…never knew that.” Tracy frowned. “Why didn’t I know that?”

“Because it didn’t change anything. John was John. He was my husband. I was the one sleeping with him, not anybody else.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, Jen’s sentence was far less worrying than something like fraud.” Tracy regarded Suzanne with a partial smile. She knew her best friend felt terrible for recent events, but Suzanne wasn’t sure she could change anything at this point. “I promise you.”

“I’m worried about her,” Suzanne said, her bottom lip trembling. “That she may do something to hurt herself.”

“Jen left prison with all the tools she needed to thrive on the outside. She took on anything that was given to her. Courses, classes, rehabilitation. Shewantedto be better.”

“Did you know it all stemmed from her losing her best friend? Sudden death.”

“Yes, I was aware of her file.” Tracy sat back and crossed her legs. “I shouldn’t tell you this, but she actually stopped me from being attacked by another inmate one day.”

“She did?”

“Mm.” Tracy sipped her wine. “She’d had it in for me from the day she was sent down. She had a shiv made up and ready, hidden in her sock. Jen overheard the plan and came to me. Told me about it. They sent in guards to search her cell, and she had the shiv hidden on her, just as Jen had told me.”

Suzanne smiled at that. She knew deep down that Jen was a good person. It was just a shame Suzanne had reacted the way she did. Perhaps they could have sat down, as Jen had suggested that night. But Suzanne’s stubbornness had prevented that from happening. In that moment, she chose to focus on what she wanted to focus on. Hurting Jen for not being upfront with her.

“She’s not a bad person, Suzanne. Yes, she’s a convicted criminal, and yes, I’d prefer it if you found someone who wasn’t one drink away from repeating the past, but shedoeshave a good heart.”

“It was a heart that was almost mine,” Suzanne said, staring down at the floor. “I miss her.”

“Do you think it’s something you can put behind you? Can you forgive her?”

Suzanne looked up at Tracy, her brows drawn. “I thinkI’mthe one who should be asking for forgiveness. She didn’t deserve my reaction. I don’t know the Jen from the past. All I know is the woman I met recently and fell in love with.”

Tracy cleared her throat. “Does she know? That you’re in love with her?”

“No.” Suzanne chewed her lip to keep it from trembling again. “I was scared to tell her in case she didn’t feel the same way.”

“Maybe you should visit. Explain that you were shocked. Blame me if you have to.”

Suzanne sniffled as her emotions weighed heavier with each second that passed. “I don’t even know where she lives.”

“You’ve not been to her place?”

“No. She was living with her mum, and now it makes sense as to why. And the courier job. She has that job because nobody else will employ her, doesn’t she?”

Tracy nodded slowly. “Probably. Yeah.”

“That’s really sad.” Suzanne shook her head, disappointed that Jen had come out of this the way she had. How was anyone supposed to move on with their life and better themselves if nobody would give them that chance? Suzanne inwardly chastised herself. She’d also refused to give Jen a second chance, so she was no better! “Wherever she is, I hope she can find some peace and move forward.”

“And you?” Tracy asked, a brow lifted. “Will you find peace and move forward?”

Suzanne didn’t know what her life looked like in the coming weeks and months. But she knew she didn’t want to date. It had all gone so well, and then it had fallen apart. The only thing Suzanne knew right now was that it would take her some time to fall out of love with Jen. “I’ll…remain as I was. Single and focused on work.”

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