Page 44 of Life After

Grace sighed as she flopped back on the couch. “You never did have much luck, kid. But I’m sure she’ll come ‘round eventually.”

“It’s been like two weeks, Grace. She’s done with me, and that’s okay.” Jen cleared her throat as she turned and faced Grace better. “I, um…I’m actually thinking of leaving. Going abroad.”

“No, you can’t do that.” Grace shook her head. “What am I supposed to do without you?”

“Have a better relationship with Dan?” Jen quirked a brow. She understood that Grace and their mum wouldn’t want Jen to leave, but she was so close to making it a done deal. She couldn’t face being shunned by anyone else she came across here. “Look, I just need to move on with my life. I can’t do that here when people stare at me in the street.”

“Who stares at you in the street?”

Jen propped Toby up on the mass of cushions between them, his little eyelids fluttering closed as he yawned. “A few people have. But it’s not even those people I care about. People used to stare at me anyway just because of the way I present myself.” They lived in a small village where anything considered non-conforming got people’s backs up. “But this is different. Anyone I know…avoids me. They don’t want to speak to me or be seen with me. I went to Ruby’s grave today, and Lyn was there. She told me she could never forgive me for ruining my life.”

“Lyn is still grieving. I’m sure she didn’t mean it.”

“Oh, she meant it, Grace. I tried to contact her during most of my sentence. She didn’t write back, and she wouldn’t accept the calls.” Jen ran her hands down her thighs. “I’m no use to anybody here. I thought life was changing when I met Suzanne, and for a brief time, it did change.” Jen paused, wishing she could make things right with Suzanne before she left the country. “But she can’t date an ex-con, and I’d never expect her to.”

“Why didn’t you tell her when you met her?”

“Because then I never would have had the chance to experience happiness for a little while. Because when I was with her, she didn’t see any of my mistakes. Because I just wanted to be me. Normal.”

“If she can’t see the person you are, regardless of what’s happened in the past, then maybe she was never the right person for you.”

Maybe Grace was right. Jen hadn’t considered that. No, she had just continued beating herself up about something she couldn’t change. “Maybe. I don’t know.”

“If you want to leave because it’s something you’ve considered for a while, then okay. But don’t let the people around here win. You have me and Mum and Toby. You have family, Jen.Weare your family.” Grace squeezed Jen’s hand. “Please think about it first. That’s all I’m asking.”

Jen looked down at Toby. He was sleeping soundly, safe and loved. “I will.”

Chapter 17

Frustrated,Suzanne turned off her computer screen and sat back in her seat. She couldn’t concentrate on work at all today. Actually, she hadn’t been able to concentrate for almost two weeks. No matter what she did, nothing seemed to help. She was sleeping better with the help of sleeping pills, but that was only masking the problem. It wasn’t helping, not by a long shot. She knew what she had to do. She had to find Jen. Even if it came to nothing and Jen didn’t want to see her, Suzanne knew she had to try.

Lifting her phone from her desk, she brought up Tracy’s number and called it. She’d tried calling the number she had for Jen on multiple occasions now, but there was never any answer. The number wasn’t in use anymore. That partly worried Suzanne, but she also had to understand that she’d hurt Jen, and Jen had likely blocked her number.

“Hi, love. Everything okay?”

No, it wasn’t. “Are you at work today?”

“I am. Just on my lunch break. You caught me at the right time. What’s up?”

Suzanne pinched the bridge of her nose and prayed that Tracy would help her out. “I’m still trying to get a hold of Jen. Could you…w-would you see if her address is on file?”

“First of all, I don’t have access to that sort of thing. And secondly, I’d be fired if I even dared to do something like that.”

“R-right. Yes. I’m sorry I even asked.” Suzanne was going to lose her mind if she didn’t find Jen soon. “Do you know where I could look for that information?”

“Have you tried using one of those websites that grabs information from the electoral roll?”

“Yes. The house is listed ex-directory. It doesn’t show the address.”

“I’m sorry, Suzanne. I can’t help you with this one. I guess she’ll be found when she wants to be found.”

Suzanne felt a swell of emotion rise up her throat. She was tired of this. She just wanted to see Jen. She needed this. “I feel fucking hopeless.”

“Look, maybe this is for the best. I know you want to make things right, and that’s just one of the things I love about you, but maybe you should let it lie.”

“I…can’t. I need to see her, Trace.” Suzanne knew that people wouldn’t understand, but she couldn’t just leave this alone. Jen meant a lot to her; they’d already made memories with one another. Just the mere thought of Jen had tears sitting on Suzanne’s eyelids. If someone could make her cry after everything she’d dealt with herself, then she had to fix it. Suzanne had to make it right. “I’ll let you finish lunch. I’ll call you next week.”

“Do you want me to come over tonight? Maybe we could order in and figure out how to get you out of this mess.”

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