Page 48 of Life After

Suzanne’s features changed as Jen divulged that information. She was looking at Jen the way she used to. “That’s it?”

“I’m sorry?” Jen frowned. “That’s bad enough.”

“No, I mean…it was petty things that snowballed?”

Jen had to wonder what the hell Suzanne thought she had done. It seemed she was expecting something truly dreadful. “Yeah. I guess you could look at it that way.”

“Jen, Iamsorry.”

Jen rose to her feet and exhaled a deep breath. “Don’t be. I just wanted to come here and put the truth out there so you can move on, maybe hating me a little less.” Jen’s shoulders slumped. She was still incredibly sad that Suzanne had broken up with her. But it would make her stronger. It had to. “Thanks for hearing me out. And thanks for being so welcoming and that when we met. Maybe I’ll see you around for a while, but once I sort out a place to live abroad, I’ll be leaving the courier company. Life surely has to get better for me and everyone else when I leave.”

Suzanne got to her feet and stepped towards Jen. “Please, don’t leave.”

“We’re not together anymore, Suzanne.” Jen took her hand and brought it to her lips. “I’m sorry I tested your trust. I wish things could have been different, but you know now. You can move on and find the right person for you.” Jen could only smile as she gazed back at Suzanne. She was going to make someone incredibly happy one day, but it wouldn’t be Jen. “You have nothing to worry about when it comes to living your life and dating again. I had the most amazing time with you, and whoever you meet is incredibly lucky to have you in their life. Just…be brave. Beyou.” Jen leaned in and kissed Suzanne on the cheek, lingering even though she knew she shouldn’t. “Bye, Suzanne.”

Suzanne gripped Jen’s hand as she turned to leave. Jen sighed, not wanting to do this whole long goodbye thing with her. She just wanted to leave so she could cry in her bedroom. Just the way she had for the last two weeks. “Jen, you can’t leave.”

“I can. It’s for the best.”

“No, you don’t understand. You…can’t leave because I’m in love with you. I can’t change that; I can’t switch off how I feel about you.” Suzanne’s voice broke, the tears in her eyes making Jen feel terrible for putting her through this. If she’d just been honest from the start… “I made a mistake when I kicked you out of here, and even if it takes a year for you to forgive me, just know that I’mdeeplysorry, and I’m so in love with you.”

Jen wasn’t quite sure what to do with that speech. She had come here with the intention of never seeing Suzanne again. To learn that Suzanne was in love with her, well…it certainly blew her mind. “Suzanne.”

“You can leave right now, and you don’t have to say anything else, but I needed you to know that I love you.” Suzanne took a breath as tears slid down her face. “It would mean so much to me if you would consider anusagain. I…know that’s not going to happen, but I couldn’t let you walk away without laying it out first.”

Jen had a lot of thoughts to work through this evening, but she couldn’t do that in the comfort of Suzanne’s home. She needed to be alone to figure all of this out. “I appreciate that, but I need to leave. Sort my head out. Figure out where the fuck I go from here.” Jen wanted to tell Suzanne she would see her soon, but she couldn’t do that. It was something she potentially couldn’t stick to, and Suzanne deserved more than a maybe. “I, um…thank you. For everything.”

Jen turned out of the living room and inhaled a deep breath as she stopped in the hallway. Just the scent of this home comforted her. But then, the reminder of standing out here two weeks ago while Suzanne belittled her floated into her mind. It was a conversation she never wanted to have withanyoneagain. Potential love interests or not, nobody would have the satisfaction of humiliating Jen ever again.

“Jen?” Suzanne followed her out into the hallway.

Jen quickly wiped away the tears slipping down her cheeks, cleared her throat, and turned around. “Yeah?”

“If you can forgive me, please call me.”

Jen simply smiled. It was all she could offer right now. Whetherthisever became something again was anyone’s guess. Jen just knew she needed to be alone tonight. “Take care of yourself, Suzanne.”

Chapter 18

Jen sat staringat the TV. It was nothing more than background noise this evening, just something to keep her from going insane. Suzanne loved her…but how? And why? What the hell had Jen done to make Suzanne fall in love with her? Nothing she could recall. As she flicked through the channels for the fifth time in probably ten minutes, her mum came down from upstairs.

“Hi, Mum. No work tonight?”

Denise sat down on the couch and sighed. “No. I have the night off.”

“That’s nice.” Jen watched her mum as Denise watched the TV. “No plans with friends?”

“Oh, no. Nothing planned with anyone. They’re all working or busy. We don’t really get the chance to catch up these days.” Denise smiled as she toyed with the necklace she wore. “Family, grandkids, that sort of thing.”

Jen knew that was a lie. Denise had always had a lot of friends. “All of them? Every last one?” Jen sat forward and stared at Denise until she looked her way. “You used to have at least five different friend groups. And not a single one of them is available?”

Denise simply shrugged. “Seems not.”

No. Jen was done with all of this bullshit. If people had an issue with her, that was more than okay. But to alienate her mum from this community? No, she wasn’t standing for it. She wouldn’t have before being sent down, and she certainly wouldn’t now. “It’s because of me, isn’t it?”

“Don’t be daft.”

Even as Denise said that, she didn’t sound very convincing. “Mum, I need you to be honest with me. My head is already up my arse with all this Suzanne shit, and I don’t need to be worrying about you at the same time.”

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