Page 66 of Life After

Suzanne smiled weakly. “I see.”

Regardless of whether Jen was with Suzanne or not, she wouldn’t go back to Lizzie. That wasn’t a reflection on her ex, not at all, but as Jen had explained to Lizzie…her life was different now. “And I obviously told her no.”

Suzanne sniffled as her bottom lip quivered. “You don’t want to see if it can be salvaged with her?”

“What? No.” Jen frowned. “There’s nothing to salvage, babe. Nothing at all. This is where I want to be.Youare who I want to be with.” Jen was shocked by Suzanne’s response. As she looked back at her, the Suzanne she was accustomed to had almost disappeared. In place was a woman who looked nervous. Terrified, even. Jen shifted closer and brought a hand to Suzanne’s cheek. “I don’t know where that strong, sexy, confident woman has suddenly gone, but I do hope you find her again soon.”

“I don’t know where she’s gone either.”

“I’m not telling you about it because it means anything to me. I’m telling you so that it doesn’t come back to bite me one day. That’s all.” She dipped her head and found Suzanne’s eyes. “Babe, where did that question even come from?” Jen decided to make the space more comfortable again by removing her jacket. If Suzanne needed to talk, she was one hundred percent here and listening. She focused back on Suzanne and smiled. “Hey, I want you to communicate with me. No matter how you’re feeling, I want to know what’s going on in your head. It’s important to me.”

“I think that maybe I’m coming to terms with what this is. Even though I was ready to date again, I never expected to meet someone who I really, deeply connected with. I expected a date or two, perhaps a little fun, but this? What I feel with you? I didn’t think I’d ever have that again. Losing it isn’t an option for me.”

“But you do, babe. Webothdo.” Jen did understand where Suzanne was coming from. She was surprised by their sudden relationshipseveraltimes a day herself. “And we have to grab it with both hands.”

“I know. I intend to.”

“I understand that finding out I had a fiancée at one time has thrown you a bit, but I swear to you that there isnothingthere for Lizzie. I promise you that.”

“God, I know. There has never been a moment when I’ve questioned whether you want to be with me, not really, but…you know?”

“No, gorgeous. I don’t know.”

Suzanne lifted Jen’s hand and pressed her lips to it. “I didn’t think I’d fall so hard for you. Then, to know you were engaged in the past, I find it hard to understand that you’d rather be with me than with a woman you’d dedicated six years of your life to. A…woman who is still in love with you.”

Jen’s palms tingled at that. “You really thinkIexpected you to fall for me? Fuck, I can’t believe I’m sitting here with you most of the time.”

“I love you. So much.”

“I know you do. I feel it in here.” Jen guided Suzanne’s hand to her chest and pressed it against her jacket. “Every single day.”

Suzanne drew Jen into a kiss. It didn’t feel as hesitant as Jen thought it would.

“Lizzie is my past, okay? She knows that my life is with you now.”

Suzanne seemed confused as she stared back at Jen. “You spent a long time together. Are you sure you don’t want to give it another shot? And that’s not me being insecure—it’s me offering you whatever time you need to figure out where you want to be. That’s all.”

“We did spend a long time together. You’re right.” Even though they’d spent six years loving one another, Jen felt as though her relationship with Lizzie had been a million years ago. “But it’s you, okay?”

Suzanne blinked away tears as she smiled. “Thank you for surprising me today. You’re always doing something sweet like that for me.”

“I do get it, you know? That feeling of wondering how the hell your life changed so suddenly. It’s a feeling I’ve had for most of the time that I’ve known you.” Jen may have spent a lot of time riddled with guilt for not telling Suzanne the truth, but a huge weight had been lifted since Tracy had spoken up. “But I’m at the stage now of just wanting to live my life. To enjoy what I have. And…love you. That’s far more than Ievercould have hoped for.”

“It’s been quite the whirlwind, don’t you think?”

“Whirlwind?” Jen laughed as she lifted a brow. “That’s an understatement.”

Suzanne laughed gently with her, making Jen’s heart sing.

“I also wanted you to know that I’d rather hear that gorgeous laugh thaneversee tears in your eyes.” Jen palmed Suzanne’s thigh, squeezing her knee when she lowered her hand. “It makes me sad when I see you upset.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re transitioning into a new life, Suzanne. You have to give yourself leeway and time to understand what’s happening. All I ask is that you come to me when you’re feeling a bit unsure so I can put your mind at rest.”

“And I ask that you do the very same thing, okay?”

Jen leaned in and kissed Suzanne, lingering and savouring the moment. “It’s a deal, babe.”

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