“I, uh…I bumped into my sister’s boyfriend earlier while I was working.”
Suzanne lifted her head from Jen’s shoulder and eyed her. “Oh.” She wasn’t sure where this conversation was going, but something flickered in Jen’s eyes as she gazed back at Suzanne and leant in for a brief kiss. “How…was that?” Suzanne would gauge Jen’s mood before anything else. She recalled Jen mentioning that her family didn’t really speak to her anymore. “Amicable, or?”
“Dreadful.” Jen snorted as she focused on the pavement with each step she took. “Called me a junkie today.”
Suzanne’s chest ached. She had no idea what people’s problem was with Jen, but Suzanne found her to be truly wonderful. What a sad life it must be for those who had chosen to remove Jen from it. “Well, we both know you’re not.”
“Maybe I am, I don’t know.” They crossed the street and headed for the entrance to the park. “He had my nephew with him. The moment he realised it was me, he turned Toby away.”
Oh, no. That was an awful thing to do to someone. “What exactlyishis problem with you?”
“I’ve been to prison, and he doesn’t want his son around someone like that. The thing is, though…Dan doesn’t even know me.”
Jen said that with so much ease that it felt as though she believed what she was saying. That maybe he was correct, and Jen had no right to question it.
“I get it, sort of. I shouldn’t be so hurt by his reaction to me ifyoubasically had the same reaction, you know? Maybe Iamthe problem, and I should just accept what people think of me. It’s just…I’d really love to see Toby more often. I’ve only seen him a handful of times since my release. He’s never going to know who I am if I’m not there for his earlier years.”
Suzanne didn’t like the idea that someone could withhold a relationship from Jen purely because of something that happened in the past. Someone who didn’t even know Jen or the joy she brought to people’s lives. None of this felt right. And yes, Suzannehadbeen less than welcoming when she found out, but she’d realised the mistake she’d made the moment Jen had walked out of the door. “There must be something you can do. He can’t just stop you from seeing your nephew.”
Jen sniffled and regarded Suzanne with a wry smile. “He’s getting so big.”
“I hope he changes his mind.” Suzanne stopped Jen on the path around the park. “And I know I hurt you deeply when I initially found out, but please don’t think for one moment that I agree with him. I do not. Not at all.” Suzanne lifted a hand and cupped Jen’s cheek. “I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life.”
“I’m sure you’d be just fine.” Jen smiled as she leant into Suzanne’s touch. “But I’d prefer it if we didn’t have to live separate lives.”
“I’m by your side, okay?” Suzanne gave Jen a knowing look, hoping she could feel the sincerity in her words. “Whatever you need, you have me. One hundred percent.”
“Thanks, babe. I appreciate that.”
“Come on. Let’s keep walking.” Suzanne turned and took Jen’s hand again. They strolled without a care in the world—their breaths misting in the cool air—the crispness reminding Suzanne that even though spring was here, they had many cold nights ahead of them. She side-eyed Jen, her heart warm as the cold attacked her soft cheeks. There was something about Jen’s rosy cheeks that had Suzanne imagining a long future with her. It just didn’t seem possible that they could one day be without one another. “You’re cold.”
Jen glanced in Suzanne’s direction. “I’m okay. I have my hat in my pocket if I need it.”
Oh, well, now Suzanne wanted to see Jen in her hat. “I’m going to need you to put that on so I can see how cute you look.”
Jen rolled her eyes playfully and tugged a bobble hat from her pocket. It was a woollen rainbow hat with a bright pink bobble atop it. She pulled it on and glared at Suzanne. “There we go. Cute or whatever.”
The smile Suzanne was already wearing spread wider. “So adorable.”
“Can we not call me adorable? I already look like a teenage boy wearing this. It’s not exactly sexy, is it?” Jen sighed and squeezed Suzanne’s hand. “Youprobably look sexy in a woolly hat. You look sexy wearing everything else.”
“And how do you know that having a cute girlfriend doesn’t turn me on?” The hand that was initially in Jen’s was now resting on her arse, and Suzanne couldn’t help but palm it…then squeeze. Jen had anexceptionalarse. “Never assume, Jen.”
“Mm, I doubt seeing me wearing this hat turns you on, babe.” Jen’s red cheeks were no longer associated with the cold. No, she was fully blushing. “But you,” Jen said as she turned and wrapped her arms around Suzanne’s waist, “I’m finding it really hard to keep my hands to myself tonight.Reallyhard.”
“I guess you should definitely stay over then.”
Jen gazed back at Suzanne with an unusual look in her eyes.
“What is it?” She held Jen at arm’s length, frowning. “Jen?”
“I wish I had a place of my own that I could take you back to. Something that’s mine and something I could make ours.” Jen shook her head lightly. “I know you have your place, and it’s absolutely gorgeous, but I still wish we had the option of you telling me you’re coming over to my place, you know?”
Suzanne nodded. “I know. But it’s not something you have to worry about. So long as I can be with you whenever I want to be, I don’t care where you live.”
“Oh, absolutely. Life just kind of took a lot of steps back for me. I had a detached house in a decent area. Now I’m back in my childhood bedroom, which was supposed to be for Toby when he stays over at my mum’s. It just feels like I’ve lost a lot of what I gained over the years.”
“You told me last night that I’m transitioning into a new life. That I should allow myself the leeway I need to understand that. Give yourself the same grace and stop being so hard on yourself.”