Page 82 of Life After

“Babe, you don’t need to do this. This is what my life looks like outside of your gorgeous home. It’s my normal now.”

“Go, Jen.” Suzanne gave her a knowing look. “A cuppa solves a lot of things.”

Sighing, Jen nodded slowly and walked away. Suzanne didn’t know where this conversation would go, but she would always create space for the woman she loved to be open and honest about how she was feeling.

With a shaking hand,Jen reached out for the cup of tea Suzanne was offering her, deflated beyond comprehension right now. This day had started out so well, they’d spent the morning enjoying breakfast and just doing their own thing, and now it had turned to shit. God, Jen had even been fearful of sneaking a look at her nephew. That’s what this had all come to. Jen being scared to breathe the same air as him.

“I know what’s just happened must be incredibly hard for you to take in, but I am here for you. I hope you know that.”

Jen swallowed as she looked up at Suzanne. “I know. I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Regardless of your past, you shouldn’t be penalised because of it. You did your time, you have a heartsobeautiful, and you should be given the chance to have a relationship with your nephew.”

“Dan doesn’t want me around, and there’s nothing I can do about that. Not really.” Jen sighed. “Even though I know I deserve the chance, it doesn’t mean he’ll give me that.”

“How long have Dan and your sister been together?”

Jen puffed out her cheeks and set her tea down on the table to cool. She relaxed against the couch, her ankle resting on her knee. “They met about six months before I was arrested. Obviously, I wasn’t around to get to know him, so he only knows the shitty version of me. Not the real me.”

“And your sister? Doesn’t she try to make him see sense?”

“She’s secretly met up with me several times now. Or Mum invites her and Toby over when I’m there so I can spend some time with him. I’ve been busy with work and being here with you lately, so I haven’t had the chance to meet up with her.”

Suzanne lifted a brow. “You shouldn’t have to secretly meet up.”

“I know. I said the same thing. When she first started doing it, I used to avoid going home because I didn’t want Dan to get wind of it and fall out with Grace. It just didn’t seem worth it. Now, I realise I have no choice but to do it that way. It’s theonlytime I get to see Toby.”

“There has to be another way, Jen.”

Jen hoped that in time Dan would come to understand her need for a relationship with Toby, but every time they came across one another, it seemed less and less likely. She didn’t want to fight with people. She didn’t wantanyoneto withhold their children from her. She just wanted to live. How hard could it be? “Mum is furious about it all. I don’t think she gets along with Dan very well, but I wasn’t around, so I don’t know if they’ve had a run-in with one another, you know?”

“Maybe it’s something you should ask her about. She seems to be on your side no matter what, so what harm could it do?”

Oh, Jen knewexactlythe harm it could do. “Because if I find out he’s spoken out of turn to her at all, it won’t be pleasant. I don’t care what he says about me, fuck him, but my mum? Nah, I’m not having that.”

“And rightfully so.”

Jen smiled when Suzanne took her hand and brought it into her lap. The warmth and softness of Suzanne’s skin reminded her that everything within these four walls was just fine. “About what he said before,” Jen started. “When he mentioned that I was living here…”

Suzanne frowned. “What about it?”

“I shouldn’t have told him I was living here. I just wanted him to see me as worth more than I really am. I hoped that if he knew I was bettering myself and a woman like you could want to date me, that maybe he’d reconsider everything.”

Suzanne gave Jen a questioning look. “A woman like me?”

“You live in the nicest part of town. You have a beautiful home, a car worth more than I’ll ever make in a year, and you’re intelligent. You’re not the kind of woman I’veeverfound attracted to me, Suzanne. But I will set the record straight. I know I shouldn’t have lied to him, but he caught me off guard that day when I bumped into him during my shift, and he belittled me in front of anyone who could hear him. It was the first thing that came to mind, but I really am sorry.”

“Hey,” Suzanne said, cupping Jen’s chin. “Don’t ever worry about something so small. I don’t care where you told him you live. And as for your worth.” Suzanne inhaled a deep breath. “You’re worth more than every last person that lives on this street.”

“I appreciate that, but we both know it’s not true.” Jen smiled weakly as she dipped her gaze. “Before all of this, I had an amazing life. Now it’s just continuously turning to shit at every opportunity.” Jen looked up at Suzanne again. “You are the only positive thing in my life. Without you, I don’t know where I’d be right now.”

“You’d be thriving. I can see it in your eyes. You want to enjoy your life, love the people who mean the most to you, and be content with what you have.”

Suzanne had just read Jen perfectly. Still, it didn’t mean she would ever have those things. “You’re right. But Dan is making it painfully hard at any given moment.”

“Dan will see sense. I have a feeling if he doesn’t, he’s going to lose far more than you have to date. I don’t imagine your sister will put up with his attitude for much longer. You’ve always given me the impression that you’re close with one another.”

“It’s always been me and Grace. We’re only a few years apart in age, and I always looked out for her. She has a lot going on with raising Toby and working, but I do wish she’d look out for me a little more these days.” Jen wasn’t sure that was fair to her sister, but it was how she felt. For so long, Grace had stood behind Jen while she protected her from one thing or another, but when it came to Jen needing that same support and protection, Grace was missing. “People have lives to deal with, and Icompletelyunderstand that, but I’ve bitten my tongue for long enough now. There are things Grace doesn’t know, things Ineverwant to tell her, but if the time comes…I’ll have to. If it’s the deciding factor between me or Dan, then I’m protecting myself. I don’t give a fuck about him.”

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