Page 2 of Life After

“Things will get better. I just know it.”

Jen smiled. She really wished she had her mum’s optimism. It was refreshing, even if it didn’t feel possible. “I know.”

“And Ruby would be proud of the recovery you’ve made. You and I both know it.”

Jen scoffed. Ruby would be devastated before she was proud. “If Ruby hadn’t died, none of this would have happened.”

“No, I know.”

“Not that I’m using it as an excuse. Being sent to prison was on me and nobody else. Regardless of why my life changed, why…Ichanged, I’m to blame for the past.”

“You did your time, Jen. Now, we move forward together. You’ve got a heart of gold, and I’m proud to call you my daughter.”

Jen ran a hand through her short, cropped hair and regarded her mum with the smallest smile. “Thanks, Mum. I just…Ihavechanged. It was a rough time in my life, but it’s not what defines me.”

“Never, love.”

“I’ll jump in the shower and get ready for work. Make sure you give Toby a cuddle for me, okay?”

“I’m sure Toby would love a cuddle from his Aunt Jen. I’ll speak to Grace today about bringing him over for a few hours this weekend.”

“That would be nice. It just depends what Dan thinks about it. You know?” Jen’s voice almost betrayed her, but she kept her composure. “If he says no, that’s okay. I get it.”

“Well, I bloody don’t. Toby ismygrandson, and if I want him in this house, I’ll make sure that happens. Don’t worry.”

Jen nodded and left the living room. It was hard not to worry when she wasn’t even allowed to see her only nephew. Toby’s dad didn’t know Jen, she had already alienated herself from everyone when Grace met him, but the whole ‘convicted criminal’ had put a stop to all contact with Toby once Jen was released from prison. Still, she hoped that Dan would come around to the idea one day.

But for now, she had a shitty job to get to.

And a little flirting to partake in.

Jen satin a lay-by off the motorway, forcing her chicken pasta down her throat as quickly as she could. The sooner she finished delivering her load, the sooner she could go home and contemplate where she went from here. The only thing she knew right now was that she wasn’t enjoying herself. Not in the slightest. The hours were ridiculous—depending on how fast you worked—the pay was terrible, and the job itself was just…not for Jen.

Her mind required far more stimulation than it was currently getting. She was intelligent, and she’d had plans, so to be sitting here on a drizzly Thursday afternoon just didn’t feel right.Jendidn’t feel right. Then again, nothing had felt right for the last five years.

Ruby.

Jen smiled, even though her chest ached. Ruby Mulligan had beenthegreatest friend in the world. From the day they’d met at primary school, both aged six, Jen and Ruby had been inseparable. She didn’t know exactly why they’d taken a liking to each other, but they did everything together. Within days of meeting, they were walking to school with one another, Denise and Ruby’s mum, Lyn, a little further back so they felt ‘grown up.’

Jen laughed to herself. They’d begged their mums to pretend they were walking alone. Ruby had always used a fancy handbag style bag for school, and she would strut down the pavement as though she was walking the catwalk at London Fashion Week. As they’d grown up, Ruby hadn’t changed. She was obsessed with all things glamour, design, and trendy.

And then it had all come crashing down.

Jen stared through the windscreen, repeatedly swallowing down the lump of emotion in her throat. “Fuck.” Her bottom lip trembled, her eyes burned, and her heart… Well, that had broken a long time ago. Over the years, it didn’t feel as though it would ever heal.

The call Jen received would always stick firm in her mind. It was impossible to forget it. As Lyn had cried down the phone, barely able to form a sentence, Jen knew something was terribly wrong. What she hadn’t expected was to be told that her best friend of almost twenty years hadn’t woken up that morning. Ruby had passed away in her sleep from Sudden Adult Death Syndrome.

Jen’s plan after Ruby’s death had been to focus all of her time and attention on fundraising and whatnot, but instead, she’d fallen apart. Instead of reminding herself of what Ruby had brought to her life, she chose to hit rock bottom. And boy did she hit it with one hell of a thud. Hard. Almost to the point of no return.

You’re not at that place anymore.

Jen pushed those months and years from her mind and brought her phone up from the console in her van. A picture of Toby sat on the screen, but it was the only picture Jen had ever had the chance to take. It was when he was a few weeks old, and her sister, Grace, had snuck him into the house without Dan knowing. Toby was welcome at Nanna Denise’s whenever they wanted to bring him…provided Jen wasn’t home.

She lowered her phone to the console again and started the engine. She only had another twenty deliveries to make, and then she would be out of this van and changing into something comfortable.

As she took the first exit off the motorway, her phone started to ring via her hands-free.

“Hey, sis. Everything okay?”

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