Page 43 of Life After

Jen didn’t respond. She shoved her hands in her pockets and walked away as quickly as she could. She thought coming here today would bring her some peace; it was usually the only place where she felt calm. But now, she just had another name to add to the list of people who loathed her.

Another day of fucking misery.

Jen climbed into her mum’s car—fully insured this time— and decided she would sit and calm down for a moment. No matter how many times she apologised, it was becoming clear that it would never be enough. Even if she knew deep down it would never be enough, someone somewhere had to give her the benefit of the doubt. The entire world couldn’t be against her.

Maybe itwastime to leave. Maybe it was time to disappear off the face of the earth and give people the opportunity to just get on with their lives.

Jen shut the front door,kicking off her shoes and leaving them in the hallway. She was tired of this. She was sick of everyone avoiding her. God, anyone would think she was a serial killer for the way she was being treated, but Jen did partly understand.

She stepped into the living room and froze when she saw Grace sitting on the couch with Toby. Jen shouldn’t be here. She wouldn’t have come home yet if she’d known her sister and nephew were visiting. “Sorry. I’ll go out for a bit.” Jen turned to leave, stopped by a hand on her shoulder. “Mum, it’s okay. I could do with another walk, to be honest.”

“Toby is here to see you. And Grace.”

Jen snorted. She found that very hard to believe. “Dan will be fuming if he finds out about this.”

Grace got to her feet, bouncing Toby in her arms. “Dan isn’t speaking to me, so I don’t really care.”

“What? Why?” Dan and Grace were insanely in love with one another. Jen couldn’t believe they weren’t speaking. “Is this because of me?”

“No. It’s because I’m sick of his attitude whenever I mention your name. I told him as much last night, and he left for work this morning without even saying goodbye.”

“Grace, don’t fall out with him because of me. I’m not worth it.”

“You’re my sister. Of course you’re worth it.” Grace held Toby out, smiling when Jen took him from her. “Who else is going to teach Toby about football? Dan is a rugby guy, and I don’t know the first thing about it.”

Tears brimmed on Jen’s eyelids as Toby smiled up at her. “Hi, little man.” He held onto Jen’s jacket, those beautiful blue eyes inquisitive as he wore a tiny frown. “You have no idea who I am, but I’m the one who is going to spoil you rotten, okay? Anything you need, you come to Auntie Jen. If your mum tells you that no sweets are allowed, I’ll sneak you some. And I’ll buy you your first pint.”

Jen’s mum placed a hand on her back, urging her further into the living room. “Go and sit down, love. I’ll put the kettle on.”

Jen studied Toby’s face, smiling as she turned her attention to Grace. They sat next to one another on the couch, Jen’s knee bouncing up and down gently. “He’s starting to look more and more like you.”

Grace sighed. “Poor thing.”

“Hey! Don’t talk about yourself like that. You got the looks, and I got the gay. Remember?”

“Yes. I remember.” Grace placed her hand on Jen’s wrist. “I’m sorry I stopped calling. I hated knowing Dan wouldn’t let me bring Toby over, so I just avoided it all.”

“I get it, don’t worry.” Jen regarded her sister with an understanding smile. “You and Dan will be okay.”

“He needs to take his head out of his arse. Half of his family are drug dealers or drug users. He has no right to judge you or anyone else. His own cousin was arrested in Spain the other month and got ten years for being part of a drug gang over there.”

“Maybe that’s why he’s so protective of his son.”

“Tough. I’m not putting up with it anymore. Maybe if he actually bothered to get to know you, he’d realise you’re not your past. He’s just being a tit.”

Jen covered Toby’s ears. “Language!”

“I’ve missed you, sis.” Grace’s voice broke as she shook her head. “I hated knowing you were stuck in a cell. You didn’t deserve to be there with all the hardened criminals.”

“I messed up. I did deserve it.” Jen would always own up to her misgivings. What was the point in blaming anyone else when she had made the choices she had?

“Mum was saying you’ve met someone.” Grace grinned as she nudged Jen’s shoulder. “She said it’s all a bit up in the air at the minute, but it can be salvaged, right?”

Jen’s heart soared when Toby latched onto her little finger. “Yeah, I met someone. Fell in love with her, too. We’d been seeing one another about two months. Then the usual happened, and she asked me to leave.”

“The usual?” Grace asked, frowning.

“She found out about prison. Her best friend is a prison guard. Only I could be so unlucky, right?”

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