Page 72 of Life After

Lyn didn’t respond. She just stared through Jen.

Jen guessed that was her cue to shut up and leave. She nodded and puffed out her cheeks. “I’ll just go. Take care, Lyn.” Jen turned for the garden gate, disappointed by this meeting almost as much as the last one.

“I miss her.”

Jen’s hand froze where it rested on top of the gate. She looked back at Lyn, wondering whether she hoped for a response from Jen. It was hard to tell. “Me, too.”

“I forget she’s gone most days.” Lyn wrapped her arms around herself as she shook her head lightly. “Do you ever think about her?”

“Me?” Jen asked, brows lifted. “Several times a day.”

“I think she’d have kids by now. Probably…two or three.” Lyn smiled, but her eyes had glazed over. Jen couldn’t read what was going to come next. “She’d be faffing around with school uniforms and whatnot while you and I just rolled our eyes at her.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right.” Jen laughed. “She’d have me up the wall with a babysitting schedule. Or I’d be added to some kind of smart planner through her phone that she could use to bark orders at me.”

“I still find it hard to talk about her.” Lyn stepped out onto the garden path and approached Jen. She couldn’t put her finger on what Ruby’s mum was feeling right now; Jen just hoped she wouldn’t punch her square in the face. That wouldn’t be a good look. “And see her face.”

“Everyone kept telling me it would get easier over time, but here I am…five years later,” Jen said as she sniffled. “And I still cry whenever I think about her.”

Lyn wrapped her arms around Jen suddenly, almost squeezing the life out of her. “You’re the closest thing to her that I have left.” Jen reached blindly behind her and placed her scanner down on the garden wall, then wrapped her arms around Lyn. “You always came as a pair. You were another daughter to me. And then I had nothing. You’d both gone.”

“I’m sorry.” Jen sobbed into Lyn’s shoulder, her eyes tightly shut.

“She would hate me for the way I spoke to you at the cemetery.”

Jen pulled back, tears streaming down her face. “She wouldn’t. She’d understand.”

Lyn shook her head. “I never once thought about how it affected you, Jen. I didn’t stop and pull myself out of my own misery for long enough to check on you. I’m sorry.”

“I’m an adult. I was back then, too. I made my own decisions, and I hold my hand up to them.” The one thing Jen had never wanted out of this was sympathy. “I made the choices I did, and I cannot change it.”

“You were so bloody stupid getting caught up in the drink and the drugs. I wanted to throttle the bleedin’ life out of you.” Lyn drew back and shook her head. “What the hell were you thinking, Jen?”

“Well, I wasn’t thinking. That was the problem.” Jen picked her scanner back up, not wanting to leave it and ultimately lose it. “But if it helps at all, I’m doing much better now. I’m settled, I have a partner, and someone gave me a job…as you can see.”

“You shouldn’t have needed a job. You had a brilliant job before you went off the rails.” Lyn could chastise Jen all she wanted. Jen was just happy to be standing here right now. Even if it pained her every time she glanced inside Lyn’s home, a world of memories flooding back. “I need you to promise me you’ll never do something like that again. You had your mother’s nerves shot. And mine.”

“I’m in a different place now, Lyn. Life is…looking up for me, dare I say it.”

Lyn’s brows drew together. “This partner. Who is she? Would Ruby approve?”

Jen grinned. “Oh, Ruby would absolutely approve. I think they’d probably sit around talking about the latest fashion trends. Suzanne knows her labels, that’s for sure.”

“Then I approve, too.”

Jen quickly checked her watch, wishing she didn’t have to cut this short. But she did. She was still on the clock. “That means a lot to me.” She cleared her throat and brushed away a tear as it landed on her cheek. “I should really get going. I’m still working, and I have quite a bit to get through.”

Lyn nodded. “Sorry. Go. I don’t want to hold you up.”

“It was nice seeing you again, Lyn.” Jen wanted to ask if she could come back when she wasn’t working, but she wasn’t sure Lyn was quite at that place yet. To be honest, it didn’t feel as though Lyn would ever be at that place with Jen again. “Maybe when we bump into one another again, we could be amicable? I understand if you’d rather I cross the street, but I’d like to keep in touch.”

“Come over for some tea tomorrow.” Lyn stepped back and returned to the warmth of her house. “If you don’t have any plans, that is.”

“I…don’t.” Jen didn’t have anything set in stone, and she was sure Suzanne would understand. “I’ll come over around six, okay? When I’ve finished my shift.”

“I’ll have the kettle on waiting.”

Jen left Lyn’s garden, stopping and smiling back at her as she closed the gate. “Thanks for inviting me back over, Lyn. I appreciate it.”

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