Page 124 of Even Beneath the Stars

"I know. I should have listened to you." She sighs, placing her glass back on the table. "Be honest, guys—I can't keep reading after that, can I?"

"No, mom." I tell her pointedly. "He called her Lambkins…while they were having sex."

Another sigh from my mother. "But up until then, he was so—"

"If he did it once, he'll do it again," I warn her. "Mom, you needto be strong here."

"I don't think the Lambkins thing is unforgivable," Xavier chimes in.

All three of our heads whip around in unison, mouths agape. "Lambkins,Xave," I remind him. "He called her Lambkinswhile they were doing the nasty."

"I mean, yeah." Xave scratches the side of his neck. "It's bad." He shrugs. "But it's not…unforgivable."

"Bro," Silas says around a mouthful of quesadilla. "It's totally unforgivable."

Xave shakes his head, running a hand through his sandy waves. "Man… you guys are harsh."

"Well, someone's got to look out for the Elspeth's of the world," I protest.

Xave sets his fork down. "Maybe the Elspeth's of the world think it's hot being called Lambkins while they're… being intimate with their guy."

"There's no way," Mom and I say at the same time.

"Well, whoever wrote that book—theymust've thought it was hot."

"He's got a point," Silas weighs in again, not looking up from checking a text on his phone.

"Silas, what the hell? You can't just suddenly switch to team Lambkins," I argue.

"Sure can." He reaches a fist out towards Xave, still scrolling on his phone. "Team Lambkins," he confirms.

Xave bumps his knuckles, then sits back.

"Just so we're clear," I tell Xavier. "If you ever call me Lambkins while we're fooling around, I'm breaking up with you."

"And if by fooling around, you're referring to sex," Mom cuts in before Xavier can respond, "I'll be the one breaking things off for both of you… And Maggie, your beau calling you Lambkins will be the least of your worries."

Xavier's eyes stretch wide, cheeks flushing a deep pink. And holy cow, is Xavier Rockwellblushing?

"We're not—We haven't—" He stumbles over his words.

I cut him off, saving him from further mortification. "Uh, mom—did you just call Xavier mybeau?"

Mom looks momentarily puzzled. "I don't… I wouldn't refer to anyone as—"

"You didjust call him her beau." Silas confirms. Then adds, "Which, to be clear, is just as bad as Lambkins."

"And proof that you need to ease up on the historical romances," I add.

"Did I really call him your beau?"

"Yes." Silas and I say in unison.

Xavier, meanwhile, is still recovering from the whole sex part of her comment and doesn't weigh in. Kind of funny that he's way more experienced than me in the 'physical intimacy' department, yet the mention of fooling around in front of my mother has him more flustered than poor Elspeth probably was over being referred to by her beau as Lambkins.

Mom leans over and places a hand on Xavier's forearm. "Xavier. I am so sorry. I promise to never refer to you as anyone's beau again."

"How about you just promise never to use the word 'beau' ever again; period?" I suggest.

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