Page 138 of Even Beneath the Stars

"It's okay." Her hand is still on my arm and she clutches my shirt. "Slow down… What if he's on the driveway?"

"He's not. I saw him on the security cameras."

The footage keeps replaying in my mind—Finn's small figure disappearing down the long driveway into the darkness. All because I was too wrapped up in my own bullshit to notice him leaving. After he threatened twice to run away.

"You focus on driving, I'll keep my eyes peeled, okay?" Maggs says.

I nod. My knuckles are white on the steering wheel as we crawl down the dimly lit road.

"Have you told your security guy? Uh, Buzz? Or told Denise?… Or anyone?"

I bite down on my lip, letting out a shaky breath. When I glance over at Maggie, her eyes are wide with concern.

"Xave? Have you told them?" She repeats.

"I can't." The words feel like glass in my throat. "Not yet… They won't let me hang out with him alone again if I tell them. If my father hears about this, he'll…" I blow out a breath and punch the steering wheel. "Fuck! You're right. I have to call Buzz."

"Breathe," Maggie says, her voice steady. "He's only been gone fifteen minutes, right? He can't be far." She shifts to face me. "Let's give it five more minutes. We'll drive down the road, and if we haven't found him by then, we'll contact Buzz."

My chest tightens at the thought of those five minutes stretching endlessly ahead. Five minutes where anything could happen to Finny. Five minutes that could change everything.Because I'm a shitty brother.

"He was looking for you," I say softly, my eyes fixed on the road ahead.

"What?"

I grip the steering wheel tighter. "He misses you… Marta's good, but Finn's still sad all the time. And he's starting to pull some of the same bullshit with her that he used to before you showed up." I resist the instinct to glance her way at those words. Don't want to let on I could just as easily be talking about myself right now. "He was mad tonight because I wouldn't make Play-Doh with him. I was screwing around on the guitar with this tune I've been working on… told him to give me half an hour and we'd play Air Hockey. But he was pissed because he wanted to make Play-Doh and he wanted to do it now."

My throat constricts as the memory hits me. "And then he lost his shit and said you would have made Play-Doh with him and said we don't hang out anymore and maybe you really left because of me…" I slam my palm against the wheel. "Fuck! I don't know. I don't even know, Maggs… I wasn't even totally listening." I drag in a long breath through my nose, glancing over at Maggie. The streetlights catch her pink hair, making it glow in the darkness. "What the hell am I gonna do if—"

"Stop." Maggie cuts me off, her hand settling on my chest, just above my heart. "Just breathe, okay? And slow down so I can scan properly."

I ease off the gas, even though every cell in my body screams to floor it. To tear through these streets until I find my brother. But Maggie's right. We need to be thorough. We can't risk missing him in the shadows.

"He's probably close to here."

"For the record, you're not a shitty person for not jumping up and caving to his freak-out," Maggie says, her voice soft but firm. "He was being a normal five-year-old. I ran away about ten times when I was a kid. Everyone does."

A hollow laugh escapes my throat. "Shit… It never even occurred to me."

The words barely leave my mouth when Maggie presses her arm against mine and shouts, "Stop!STOP, Xave!Pull over! He's there—by those trees."

I slam on the brakes, the tires squealing against the pavement. My hand flies to the door handle, but Maggie's fingers catch my shirt.

"Hold on. Just—wait. Listen to me for a second."

I keep pushing the door, my heart thundering in my chest. All I can think about is getting to Finn.

Maggie tugs at my arm again, harder this time. "Xave… He isn't going anywhere. He's right there."

I pause, my hand still on the handle. "What?"

"The way you handle this matters." Maggie's voice stays calm; steady. "We need to make it clear that what he did isn't okay."

"This is not the time for this shit, Maggs." I push the door again.

Her hand clamps down. "Yes. Actually, it is exactly the time. Because if you go way over the top and give him all kinds of attention and drop everything and cater to him over this, guess what he's going to do the next time he doesn't get his way?"

I freeze. Roll my lip between my teeth. "Shit."

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