Page 131 of Even Beneath the Stars

My heart feels like it stutters to a stop—because the girl with sparkly blue lashes is sitting in Xavier's lap, arms draped around his shoulders.

My heart lurches back into action.

I forge through the brown murky water. Straight toward Xavier and the unsuspecting girl snuggled in his lap.

Checkmate, Oracle Boy.

Here comes the Swamp Monster.

Chapter Fifty-Three

Xavier

I'm too tired for this. It was fun at first—setting up the swamp. Like a challenge. The fortune telling afterwards, less so. I don't know half these people; therefore, I don't care about them. Or maybe I'm just too exhausted to care. Or too stuck in my head. Whatever the reason, it pisses me off that it's not even ten o'clock and I'm already over this party. Until a few months ago, I would go until sunrise. Get up, go to school, hit hockey practice or football or whatever, and do it all again. I liked it. It was fun. Or at least, it was enough.

It doesn't feel like enough now.

And I need this to be enough.To give my head a shake. Get it through my thick skull that This. Is. My. life. I can have this, and maybe the band. Maybe. For a few months, if I'm lucky. Maybe even a couple of years. But not Maggie, too. Who blazed into my life and lifted mine up to the same level as hers. Made me feel like my world was worthy of hers. But only for a while—because already, it's selfish of me to ask for any more.

I'm stumbling through life. Maggs is gliding through hers.

And my father's right: I will eventually find a way to disappoint her, like I do with everyone in my life. Slow her down. Dull her shine. Maybe a few weeks or months down the road, once this music thing rides its course. Or I fuck it up somehow.

But probably sooner.

She's already got her perfect life, with her perfect house and her perfect mother. They don't have much, but they spun it into everything that matters. I was given everything, and I always find a way to unravel it into nothing.

As Swamp Oracle, my prediction is I'll do it with this band too.

And a girl like Maggie shouldn't be expected to stick around for a guy like that. Which is why I need to chill. The fuck. Out.

Put the brakes on with this whole head-over-heels thing I've been letting myself fall into.

Reset. Rewind. Back the fuck up.

Find a way to fit back into the life I've been okay with for years. So that I'm okay when Maggie moves on to the life she's been dreaming about and planning for years.

"Bro! Hey, Swamp Oracle!" Beck's booming voice lurches me out of my thoughts.

Five more minutes and pretty sure I would have fallen into a swamp-induced slumber. Seriously, I'm wiped.

"We've got a lineup here, man," Beck calls to me. "These fortunes aren't just gonna tell themselves."

I toss back the rest of my drink and motion for the brown-haired girl with fake blue lashes to approach. Itiskind of amusing watching people sift through the swamp searching for the best offerings. Beck and I are both angling for the soggy car dice. But so far, literally, no dice.

The girl—Bethany, I think, or Beatrice—hands me a small plastic pig. Which is pretty decent if you compare it against the two socks, potato, oven mitt, Hot Wheels pickup truck, and three onions I've been gifted so far.

"A most gracious gift," I tell her. "You will not be disappointed with your future… Oh, whoa—" Suddenly, she's climbing into my lap. "Hey! No. You can't— you need to—"

"Sorry," a familiar voice.Maggie'svoice—interrupts. She's addressing Bethany-Beatrice, but her eyes are leveled on me. "Do you mind if I cut in? I sort of had a pre-scheduled appointment with the Swamp Sleaze."

"You mean Swamp Ora—"

"Whatever," Maggie cuts her off. "We had an appointment."

Bethany-Beatrice looks back at me for confirmation, but my lips just open and close. Apparently, I've temporarily lost the ability to form a full sentence.I nudge her forward and she gets to her feet, looking pissed. But she steps aside and joins her friends, who wander off, presumably in search of better fortunes.

"Maggie…" I shift, not loving the fact that I'm forced to look up at her in my current reclined position. "Isn't… I thought tonight was your night off."

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