Page 74 of Even Beneath the Stars

"So, yeah, I get it now," I admit. "That being rich isn't a character flaw, just like being poor isn't." Our eyes meet, then mine duck to the floor. "I had a couple of… experiences—with entitled, rich assholes. And I guess I just went ahead and extended the backlash of that to all rich guys." I roll my eyes, shifting. "Which, now that I say it out loud, is really embarrassing."

When I look back at him, Xavier blinks. Almost lazily. Only his expression is still alive and intense. More intense than before, even.

"These rich assholes… did they hurt you?"

"Just my pride." I duck my gaze again. "And my feelings." I slide my fingers along the edge of the table and when they bump against the glue bottle, I fiddle with the cap, twisting it one way then the other—because I need to focus on something other than my words. Or him.

Admitting stuff like this to people is hard for me.Reallyhard. For most people, I guess. Maybe it's just human instinct—that we all want to come across as infallible and problem-free. Like we've navigated every road bump in our path so far and come out un-rattled. Which is weird, since any person unscathed by the jagged edges of their past would probably be freakishly un-relatable. Still, it sucks admitting those weaknesses out loud. To the person we want to appear most un-rattled by.

I feel the weight of Xavier's gaze on me.

"Shit, I'm sorry." He clears his throat. "I mean, I'm sorry you had to go through something that messed with your feelings like that."

"Yeah. It sucks." I shrug but still don't look at him. "It was a couple years ago… Life goes on, right?"

When I do finally look up, his eyes are still on me. His expression serious.

Time seems to slow to a steady, pulsing silence.

"Yeah." He clears his throat again, then glances back down at my phone as he extends it to me. Time resumes its regular, familiar pace. "So…" His brow arches. "Arrogant and moody, huh?"

Just when I thought I could look at him without being embarrassed, my face heats, no doubt to a pink that falls somewhere in the same color family as my hair. I attempt a dismissive shrug as my fingers curl around my phone. "Among other things."

"Such as?"

"Such as…" I decide to go with honesty. We're on that road anyway, no point veering off now. "Loyal, talented, observant…" I meet his eyes. "An amazing big brother."

He sniffs, his gaze dipping to the side and then back. "Total player," he adds pointedly.

Shit. Guess he saw that one, too. "I'm sorry," I say. "About that text."

He shrugs. Then sighs. "It's fine." Then he adds, "Not a lie. Also, not like any of my friends haven't asked about you."

"Your friends have asked aboutme?" It's something that never even occurred to me.

"Yeah, why are you so surprised?"

Heat creeps up my neck again and spreads across my cheeks this time, because apparently, I'm fully settling into all over pink tones for the night. "I don't know… I just…" My hands fidget with my phone. "I wouldn't have thought the people you hang out with would… notice me, I guess."

Xavier lets out a laugh that echoes through the room. "You have pink hair and dress like an episode of Powerpuff Girls. You're surprised people notice you?"

My face burns even hotter. I open my mouth, but the words tangle on my tongue. "Well, I meant, inthatkind of way…you know."

"No, I don't know." He crosses his arms over his chest, tilting his head slightly, an unmistakable flicker of amusement in his eyes that makes my stomach do a weird flip.

"Like, notice me enough to ask about me." The words tumble out in a rush, and I wish I could grab them back. But they're already out there, hanging awkwardly between us like a string of Christmas lights in July.

"Plenty of guys have asked about you… You're hot. Guys notice hot girls."

"You think I'mhot?" This conversation is officially happening in another dimension. My mind is blown and scattered into confused particles.

Xave's eyebrows lift, a hint of that smirk still playing at the corners of his mouth. "What? This is like, some big revelation to you?"

Mortification sweeps through me. God, does he think I'm fishing for compliments? "Yes! Yes, it is. You just said it yourself—I have pink hair and dress in eclectic outfits… I thought that made me cool. Nothot."

"Girls can be cool and hot at the same time." He presses his tongue against his cheek, his smirk pure trouble as he watches me. "I mean, it's rare; but it happens." He motions toward me with one hand. "I mean, obviously."

My mouth opens but nothing comes out. I'm literally speechless. Which might be a first for me.

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