Page 12 of Deceptively Dead

Hunter pushes us further and further into the woods, taking seemingly random turns every now and then, until I am so twisted around that if I were alone there would be no hope of me ever emerging from this forest. Eventually, he stops us by a small stream trickling down a rock shelf that I can hardly see in the gloom of nightfall, and we all gratefully remove our packs. Or at least, I gratefully remove my pack, the guys barely notice theirs by the looks of it. I flop down on the ground as soon as my backpack hits the forest floor and scrounge for my empty water bottle. Instead of getting up, I simply tilt dangerously to the side and try to dunk the bottle in the edge of the stream, too tired to move anymore tonight. Hunter notes my struggles and gently pushes me back into a sitting position before taking my bottle and filling it at the rock shelf. When he brings it back to me, I gulp the entire contents down greedily as he watches, concern flashing across his features. I only remember to say thank you as he takes it from me to refill. He looks over his shoulder at meas he crouches next to the stream, “Beautiful, if you had of told me you had run out of water, we would have stopped sooner.” He gently reprimands me, and I can only nod in return. I’m bone tired from the day of walking, my body not used to this much exercise since I was shot. I feel weak and barely able to lift my head, allowing it to drop against my chest halfway through my nod of agreement.

I startle awake when a warm hand rests on my leg and I look up blearily into Chase’s smiling face. I must have fallen asleep without realising. I’ve not been asleep for too long as I can still see his face in the murky darkness as he leans over me.

“Come on Angel,” he whispers to me “up you get, we still have one more thing to do before you can sleep.”

“What?” I groan “No. I want to stay here. This is fine. Why I can’t I stay?” my voice rises into a high-pitched whine at the end, causing me to wince, even as I struggle to my feet. Chase helps me to stand, huffing out a small laugh at my muted groans. When I finally reach my feet, he turns my body slightly pointing to a spot not far away that looks exactly the same as the rest of the forest.

“We are camping just over there.” He says gently, and I nearly explode as I turn on him with a snarl.

“You fucking woke me up to move me a hundred meters? Are you kidding me?” I fume at him. Chase just blinks at me in the gathering darkness, obviously completely unsure what my outburst means.It means I was sleeping, giant, and you woke the bear. Never wake the bear,I think, still glaring a hole through him and completely ignoring the fact that not two seconds ago this ‘bear’ couldn’t get to their feet without help.Doesn’t matter, I could still take him.

“No. Well, yeah I guess, but,” he turns me again and tilts my chin up so I’m looking into the trees instead of at their base “we’re going up there. You needed to be awake.”

I squint into the darkness, searching the tree line until I finally spot what might be some sort of platform? “What is it?” I ask Chase, but it’s Hunter that answers me, somehow standing right next to me and making me jump, again. Sneaky fucker.

“It’s a hunters hide.” He states and then takes my arm and starts moving me forward. I trudge along beside him willingly, ready to get up into the tree and get some sleep. It’s only when we stop at the base of the huge redwood that I remember that I won’t be climbing anything, not until my arm heals. I open my mouth to remind the guys of this, but a rope snakes down in front of my face before I can speak making me startle back a step, into Hunters broad chest. Chase steps into my space and ties both my bag and his to the rope and I watch as they quickly ascend into the tree after a sharp tug.

“Is that Nate up there?” I ask, rather stupidly, because really, who else would it be? I shake my head at myself even as Nate’s voice drifts down from the platform, “Who else, Trouble?” I hear shuffling on the platform before the rope comes whistling down again. “Hurry up and get up here, it’s getting so dark I can barely see.”

Hunter steps around me and up to the rope, turning his back to me to fiddle with it, while Chase faces me, stepping closer as he does. My eyes light up and I smile brilliantly up at him, now knowing how they plan to get me up the rope. “Are you going to let me ride you, Chase?” I ask, my voice coming out huskier than I planned. Chase stills for a moment before snatching me up into his arms and cradling me against his massive chest and I feel more than hear his groan as he turns back to the rope. “You can ride me whenever you want, Angel, you only have to ask.” He replies and it’s my turn to give an inarticulate groan as he squeezes me close, “Unfortunately, though, this time, there’s an easier way for you.” He continues as he gently places me into a kind of loop seat/harness that Hunter has rigged up while wewere talking. Once he has me settled, he leaves me swinging in the harness and moves over to the trunk of the tree, I watch as his shadowy bulk starts to move up the trunk, my eyes shamelessly tracing the cut lines of his shoulders and ass in the gloom.

“There’s handholds nailed into the tree trunk, makes kind of a ladder to get into the hide.” Hunter says from behind me, and I jerk in surprise.

“Stop doing that!” I hiss at him as I turn in the rope and I catch a glimpse of white teeth in the darkness as he flashes me a smile. It reminds me of the first night I saw him and suddenly all the fear and emotion of that time comes flooding back into me and I let out a tiny whimper, reaching my hand out to Hunter, wanting to hold on to something solid to help me work through what feels like the start of a panic attack. Hunter’s immediately by my side but instead of taking my hand, he wraps me in his strong arms, letting me cling to him as hard as I can. I only vaguely register when he starts murmuring his soothing nonsense, just like the first time I fell apart. Eventually, I pull away from him slightly, wiping away the tears I didn’t know were falling. I look up at him, trying to make out his features in the darkness. “I…” I start to apologize but before I can get any words out, he swoops in and his lips cover mine, the kiss taking me completely by surprise. He kisses me roughly as if his self-control has finally snapped and he wants to devour me. His kiss is brief and hard and utterly possessive. Just as quickly as it started it’s over and as Hunter leans his forehead against mine for a moment he murmurs, “You really need to stop apologizing, sweetheart. Besides, it’s me that needs to apologize to you. I didn’t mean to snap at you earlier and I need you to understand that I don’t think you’re a distraction, well, I do but you’re a good distraction. A… shit, no! Not a shit! I’m just sorry, ok? I need you to know you never haveto fear us… me. We will always keep you safe.Iwill keep you safe. From everything. Even myself.”

I open my mouth to ask why. Why the change in their attentions? Why have they essentially adopted me into their group? Why do they freakingcare?I also want to reassure him that he doesn’t need to baby me, that I know what he said wasn’t a big deal, but a voice cuts me off before I can form the words.

“We’re ready up here Hunter, you good?” Nate’s voice calls down, seemingly oblivious to what’s happening below him. Hunter doesn’t pull away, but the sound of Nate’s voice is like ice water to me and I pull back as if I’ve been stung, my face flaming and shame curling through my stomach.Fuck, here I am kissing Hunter, as if I didn’t just make out with Nate only a couple hours ago! Or kiss Chase before that!My head is so screwed up. I can’t even look at Hunter as I pull away from him completely, he lets out a frustrated growl before letting me go. He leans over me to steady the rope and whisper in my ear, “To be continued, sweetheart. But I think we’ve got a lot to talk about before then.” Then he tugs once on the rope and steps away from me as I start to rise into the air.

I lift slowly towards the platform staring out into the darkened forest and use the time to berate myself and try to think of a way out of this situation I’ve gotten myself into. I know that I can’t choose one over the other, it’s impossible. Not only would it likely tear their group apart but I can’t choose just one of them. They each have something so different, so unique, that makes me want them… need them. I simply can’t think of a way that I would be able to pick one over the others, it’s inconceivable.You should leavea little voice in my head whisperssave everyone the heartache, the hassle that comes with having to take care of someone so incompetent.The closer I get to the platform the louder the voice gets, its tone taking on the sneering quality of Ben’s viciousness, until it’s all I can hear.Useless. Slut.Damaged. No one will ever want you anyway. Do them a favour…

“Angel!” Chase’s voice finally breaks through the voices in my head, and I blink up at him in surprise, wondering when I made it to the top… and when I started to cry, because fat tears are rolling steadily down my face as I gasp for air. I dart my eyes around wildly, looking for something to ground me because I’m well aware I’m on the edge of another panic attack. Chase must see the look on my face because he curses quietly and scoops me up, marching us both further onto the platform, behind a hanging camouflage net that I hadn’t noticed before. I watch over Chase’s massive shoulder as two more large bodies enter though the netting, filling the tiny space and crowding in to us as they quietly set up a small candle and pull some tinned food from the packs in a corner. All the while Chase holds me close and whispers nonsense words into my hair. I desperately try to pull myself together, so these guys don’t have to,again.

Weak. Useless. Broken.

I’m passed from Chase’s arms and the sharp musky smell tells me I’m now in the arms of Hunter, but I don’t look up, can’t meet their eyes with the voices yelling in my head. When someone tries to tilt my face up towards them with soft fingers on my chin I whimper and burrow deeper into Hunter’s chest. I know I shouldn’t be seeking comfort from any of these guys but I just want to feel safe, just for a little longer, before they realise the terrible things I’ve done and leave me behind. I know that it’s a selfish move but I cling to Hunter and let the deep rumbling sound of his voice lull me into safety, until it drowns out the voices and is all I can hear.

Eventually, I manage to pull myself from Hunter’s embrace, wiping my eyes furiously, even as I avoid looking at any of them. Hunter lets me go reluctantly, but I don’t make it far from him before I’m pulled into another set of arms. I squirm to getaway, but Nates strong grip pins me effortlessly in place, his honey voice a bit hoarse as he demands, “What just happened, Trouble?” I don’t answer, just double down on my efforts to get away. Nate growls into my hair and suddenly another set of hands is helping to keep me in place, rough hands land on either side of my face tilting it up, but I refuse to open my eyes.

“Look at me, princess.” Hunter’s dark voice demands, but I stubbornly try to jerk my head away. Their attempts to hold me making me fight harder against them, threatening my hold on my reasoning. Both men growl in frustration but it’s the voice from a little further away that makes me stop resisting.

“Baby, please, open your eyes. Look at us Angel. What’s happening? What did we do?” Chase’s voice sounds so sad, so confused, I finally snap my eyes open, searching him out in the dim light of the single candle, desperate to take the hurt from his voice.But how can I want to take his hurt away when I know I’m the cause?I drop my eyes away from his grey gaze and swallow hard. I know I’m not going to get away with not telling them about what just happened, about everything. Hunter’s too tense in front of me and even Nate is holding me stiffly against him.

“I… it’s just that… before…” I heave a frustrated sigh and decide I can’t do this while cuddled in Nate’s arms, so I quickly disentangle myself and scurry to the only available floor space on the tiny platform and turn to face them all. Thankfully Nate lets me go this time. I take a moment to study each of their faces in the tiny, flickering light of the single candle. Each of them is etched with concern, their worry for me obvious in their tightly wound bodies and furrowed brows. I release another sigh, this time of resignation, and launch straight to the point. “I kissed Chase.” I state quietly, meeting each of their eyes and seeing the confusion only deepen, but I hurry to continue before they interrupt “And I kissed Nate. And Hunter… and I just… I’msorry. I know that it was wrong of me, and I shouldn’t have but things just… happened. I’m sorry.” At this stage I don’t even know who I’m apologizing to… Chase, because he kissed me first? Nate, because I freaked out and put distance between us? All of them? Myself? I have no idea.

Finally, the silence stretches too long and I can’t avoid looking up at them any longer, but, as I peek up through my lashes, I glimpse a smile on each of their faces. It’s enough to have me whipping my head up fully and taking in their expressions. Chase looks… relieved, for some reason, while Nate has this understanding look to but also manages to look a little exasperated. Hunter just looks smug, the big jerk.

“Wh- why are you guys not freaking out?”did I read the situation wrong? Are they not into me? Was it just a game to them? Oh my god I feel like such anidiot.

“No.” Hunter growls at me and his deep voice halts my little pity spiral in its tracks. “It’s not what you’re thinking and you know it.” I stare at him incredulously. What the hell does he know what it is and isn’t? He must see something in my face because he huffs out a breath and hold his hands up, palms facing me in the international ‘calm down’ gesture. Which works about as well as actually saying ‘calm down’. That is, not at all. All my anger, confusion and frustration suddenly rage to the surface and I all but vibrate at the intensity of the emotions, but, just as I open my mouth to no doubt yell something completely unhelpful, Nate cuts me off.

“Maybe we should explain, before Trouble here explodes, and leads every groaner in these woods straight to our little tree.” He says at the same time Chase mutters “Of course she wouldn’t realize.” And gives his friends a worried look.

“You call them groaners? That’s… actually pretty cool and accurate. Who came up with it?” I ask, completely distracted from my rising anger, “Wait. Explain what?”

All the guys look between each other, having a silent war about who has to tell me whatever it is they need to tell me. I quickly become inpatient with them and snap “Just spit it out already!”

“Alright, alright.” Hunter says, shooting dirty looks at the other two, he continues “I know you haven’t been outside that compound for a while” he levels me with a look of understanding and sympathy, a look I instantly hate, “so you probably don’t know this, but the thing is, not a lot of women have survived the dead. We don’t know why but there is a significantly lower number of women then there are men.” I cock my head at him and frown in confusion. Jacob had heaps of women in his harem, at least eight from my last count, and that was just the pretty ones that were breeding age. I swear I saw older women in the compound from time to time too. Although, now that I think about it, there weren’tthatmany. Not nearly as many as the men anyway. Still frowning I nod at Hunter for him to continue. “Anyway, the difference in male versus female numbers have led to some… cultural changes, at least in our group. What I’m getting at, Angie, is that, for us,” he gestures to the three of them “we… uh… that is to say, in our group its normal…” he runs his hands though his hair in frustration as he looks away from me, obviously struggling to find the words he wants. But when he takes a deep breath and snaps his dark eyes back to mine, capturing my gaze and not letting me go, he drops his bomb and watches me as it explodes, “We want you to be ours. We’ve already talked about it as a group and the three of us can protect you better together, anyway. We all feel the same way, we want you. All of us.”

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