Page 43 of The Mouse and the Maestro

“Oh, boy, Mom, you’re really digging a pit here,” Tad chimed in.

“Change the conversation, Dorothy,” Will piped up, giving his wife a look.

“Why does everyone keep saying…?” Her eyes fell on Blue and Jane again, speculatively this time. “Oh. Dear me. So.” Her lips sealed then. It was as if when she needed mindless chatter the most, the power failed her.

To try and cover the awkwardness, Will and Tad launched into a conversation about some issue at their respective fire stations, but it was clear they were unaccustomed to being the ones who talked. Eventually all talk came to an end, but, mercifully, so did the meal.

“Maybe you’d like to show Jane the patio,” his mother suggested.

Wordlessly, Blue stood, led the way to the porch, and held the door for Jane.

Chapter 20

They sat on the patio and gazed silently at the back yard.

“That went well,” Blue said after a long time of silence. “I think the only way it could have gone better is if my mom pantsed me and then gave me an atomic wedgie while everyone watched.”

Jane gave a little half laugh, somewhere between amusement and exasperation.

“The thing with Maggie, it’s not as if it ever had a chance to get off the ground. She was Ridge’s from the get go. I know that; I’ve always known that. It’s always been one more nail in my coffin of doomed romances.”

“Like me,” Jane said.

“No, Jane, not like you. That’s what makes it interesting. Nothing has ever clicked before the way it does with you,” he said.

“But does it though, really? What about us has worked? Me physically assaulting you? You being only eighty percent certain I’m not a terrorist?”

“It’s up to about ninety,” he said.

“We’re attracted to each other. The physical chemistry works, but at some point you have to ask yourself if that’s enough. You have your overt dependence on virtual reality, I have social anxiety.”

“The social anxiety doesn’t phase me,” he assured her.

“I also have Nick.”

He scowled. “That phases me.”

“It’s not allowed to phase you; I’m not yours. You’re in love with another woman. You don’t trust me. Those two things have been made abundantly clear to me. So, really, what are we doing here? What’s the point of all this?”

“It’s more than physical attraction. I like you. You’re funny and smart and cool. I think it’s cute how you have a PhD and yet get flustered when talking to ordinary strangers. And the Maggie thing is one of those things I have to work through. It’s not like it has any future, but the heart wants what it wants sometimes, and lately it’s been saying it wants you.”

“Even though you don’t know who I am and I’m not online?” she reminded him.

He opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it, and closed his mouth again. The truth was it did bother him that she wasn’t online; it bothered him a lot. But everything else he said to her was true, too, and when he was with her, he forgot. He forgot everything—his job, her potential criminal ties, his feelings for Maggie, her lack of virtual footprint. All he knew was when he was with her his heart felt full and whole and he wanted that feeling to continue.

“I don’t want to lose what we have going here,” he said eventually.

“What do we have going here? You can’t even bring yourself to say I’m anything but your coworker. So let that be it. We’re coworkers. Maybe at the end of this we’ll be friends, but let’s not fool ourselves we’re anything else because eventually one of usis going to get hurt, and it seems like we’ve both been hurt too many times to let it happen again.”

Blue wasn’t ready to agree, wasn’t ready to let go. The one thing they had going for them was time. Maybe with enough time on their side, they could get things right. Instead of trying to talk her into giving them a chance, he would find another way to convince her; he would charm her into submission. He had never been able to do that before, but there was a definite first time for everything. All he knew was that, while not ready to give in completely and let go of his reservations, he was also not ready to give up on them entirely. They had something; he was sure of it, and he was certain Jane felt it, too.

“Let’s recap,” she suggested.

“Yes,” he agreed.

“You’re in love with another woman,” she said.

“Yes.”

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