Page 88 of Her Delta Force Protector

Sure, he came home on leave throughout the years, but he hadn’t been there for them, nor had he let them be there for him. He’d helped with Everly when he was home for a few days here and there, even changing diapers, and he’d take foot rot from walking through the rainforest with wet socks for days over diaper duty. The point being, he’d left each time without a backward glance. It was Tristan and Parker who’d raised her to be the delightful child she was. They should resent him. Miraculously, they didn’t.

As they walked past Parker, who was watching them curiously, Kade stopped. A part of him wanted to do one of his disappearing acts. He didn’t do feelings sharing. But he wanted things to change, and one of those changes needed to start with his brothers. He waved Parker over. “Apparently, Tristan wants some brother time.”

The sweetest smile crossed his baby brother’s face, and when Parker reached them, he also slung an arm around Kade so that he was sandwiched between them. Why had he kept a wall between him and these two men for all these years? For the first time since being dumped at this house, he felt like he was home. His damn eyes burned.

They walked down to the pond, stopping near the willow tree. “Skye and Everly had a picnic under that tree right before Skye left me,” Tristan said.

Kade remembered how miserable Tristan had been until he and Skylar worked things out. “But she came back.”

“She did.” He picked up a small stone and skipped it over the pond. “Now tell me why you think Harper’s better off without you.”

“I’d like to hear the answer to that, too,” Parker said.

The urge to walk away from this conversation was strong, but if he did that now, he’d keep running. It was time to man up. “What do I know about relationships? She’d end up hating me, and that would kill me. Besides, she didn’t even try to stay.”

“So she abandoned you, too?” Tristan said.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“A long line of people who abandoned you...us.”

“You’re starting to piss me off, Dr. Phil.”

His brother shrugged. “You’ve been pissed most of your life. Our father took off when Parker was born, and our mother left us on Aunt Francine’s doorstep, never to be seen again. Aunt Francine sure didn’t want us, so that counts as abandonment. Then you thought your best friend died, and although if she really had, it wouldn’t have been her fault, once again it seemed like someone you cared about had abandoned you. Then, after you find out she’s alive, she still leaves you.”

“Where are you coming up with this crap?” But as much as he wanted to tell his brother to eff off, he couldn’t deny that all of that was true, and like everyone else, Harper had left him.Because you gave her no choice.

“After our mother dumped us, Parker crawled into his shell and barely came out. You went in the other direction by acting out. I was sure that prison was in your future.”

He couldn’t argue that. “Is there a point to all this?” He didn’t ask Tristan where he fit in the abandonment issues. His big brother had stepped up for him and Parker, something he still hadn’t thanked Tristan for. He would as soon as he didn’t want to punch him in the face.

“And I’ll add my two cents,” Parker said. “You’ve always seen everything as a joke, it’s your defense mechanism. You pretend to have fun, but inside, you’re dormant. You’re afraid to feel anything.”

He wanted to deny that, too, but hearing Parker say it, he realized it was true. “Not feeling anything is safer.” Could he change? He wanted to, wanted to be the kind of man who could make a woman like Harper happy. Even if he could change, there was still a big issue, and as long as he was sharing, he might as well share that. “She wants kids.”

“So?” Tristan said.

“He thinks he’ll make a shitty father,” Parker said.

“I know I will.”

Parker rolled his eyes. “Do you mean how you are with Everly? You love that girl, and you’re her favorite uncle—”

“Hey now, I’m her favorite uncle,” Tristan said.

“You both are, but I’m making a point here, so for the sake of conversation, Kade’s her favorite.” Parker poked Kade in the chest. “You’re good with her. You think you’d love your own child less than your niece? That you’d be an ogre with your own kid when you treat Ev like a princess?”

Was that true? “Were you afraid of what kind of father you’d be when you found out you were going to have a baby?”

“Terrified out of my fucking mind. Same as you, what did I know about raising a child considering our role models? She wasn’t planned, but the second I held my baby in my arms, I promised her I’d be the best father she could ever have. And you know what? It’s been the easiest promise to keep.”

“We don’t have to be like our parents,” Tristan said. “It’s a choice. But you do you, brother.” He squeezed Kade’s shoulder, then Parker did the same, and they both left.

A choice. The idea of that was an explosion in his mind. He picked up some stones and skipped them across the pond. It wasn’t that having choices was a novel concept. Looking back, he now understood that he’d chosen to be a punk-ass kid when he could have been more like his brothers.

Once he’d gotten his head straight, he’d made the choice to be the best soldier he could be. Had it been easy? Hell no. He’d done it through grit, determination, and thousands of hours of training.

By believing that he’d be a lousy husband and father, he was choosing to let his parents steal away any chance of happiness with the woman he was in love with. It didn’t have to be that way. He might have to work at it harder than some men, but Harper was worth the hard work, and he could be everything Harper needed. And with her, he’d always been able to be himself and she still liked him, maybe even loved him.

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