Nothing.
It doesn’t matter if I live or die.
Renat drags me from the car and up towards his house. He tugs me upstairs and throws me into a room, slamming the door behind me.
I turn and look at it in confusion. Why am I here? Why isn’t he throwing me into the basement, it would be easier to clean up the mess of my death down there.
I stand at the window, staring out into the garden, waiting.
***
A day goes by and I stop waiting for death and start thinking about Radmir and the pain he is in. Thinking about the man I love and what I have put him through… It makes my own pain feel insignificant.
I think about my brothers and my sister and how worried they must be. I think about Ruvim.
All of these people are in this position because of choices I made and now I understand why I’m not dead yet.
It’s because I have to get Ruvim back.
It doesn’t matter that Radmir killed my brother, I can’t do the same thing to him. And I am the only one who can lead him to the Enzo family who are known for their skills at disappearing.
On the second night, trapped in the bedroom at Renat’s home, I start searching for a way out. If it’s the last thing I do, Iwillsave Ruvim.
No longer in a silent stupor of self-pity, I move through the room and manage to find a window that is not secured correctly. Using a knife from the plate of food I left uneaten on the bedside table, I begin to pry at the window. It takes a good thirty minutes before the latch breaks away completely. I breathe a sigh of relief and push the window open wider, stepping up onto the ledge to climb out.
My stomach churns with nervous fear as I peek over the edge, down to the ground two stories below. The drain pipe looks sturdy, but I worry about it holding my weight.
Either way, I have to try.
I climb all the way onto the ledge and then scream blue murder when I feel hands dragging me back into the bedroom. I kick and shout and yell, demanding to be released. He throws me onto the ground, and I demand again. “Let me go!” But Renat just stares at me with a blank expression. His arms are folded across his chest.
He waits, patiently, for me to settle down.
I huff loudly, fighting tears.
“Are you done?” he says sarcastically. His dry tone grating against my nerves and bubbling the anxiety in me.
When I don’t answer, he grabs my arm and hauls me to my feet. He’s much stronger than he looks.
He drags me down the passage and pushes me into a chair in front of a computer screen.
I try to stand up again and he shoves me back down.
“What game are you playing? Just kill me and get it over with,” I snap, testing his patience and my own.
I don’t want to die.
Renat points at the screen and waits.
I turn my head to look at two open windows, each with a video paused.
He pressed play on one of them.
My heart clenches and my blood runs cold. It is a video of my brother’s murder. Blurry and pixilated and heartbreaking.
I’ve seen a still image of this view before. I saw it when Andrei asked the Enzos to investigate Grigor’s death and they brought me this evidence.
I stare at the screen. My brother still alive, trapped in this blurry world. His movements so familiar to me. The way he lifts his hand and turns his head.