Page 11 of Forty, Flirty & Fired

He raises an eyebrow, and I notice his tie is the exact shade of green as his eyes.

That information goes straight into the "things I'm not thinking about" file, right next to the way his hands dwarf his coffee cup.

"Now that we're all here," Gerald Matthews, Head of the Board and Chief Pain in My Ass, clears his throat, "let's discuss the... unusual situation with Innovatech's integration."

Unusual situation. That's corporate speak for "holy shit, all our developers are jumping ship."

"The numbers from HR are concerning," Barbara Cho adds, shooting me a look that suggests I'm personally responsible for global warming. "We've lost-"

"Sixty percent of senior developers," I cut in, pulling up the exact statistics on my tablet. "With another twenty percent having interviews lined up this week. But you knew that was going to happen, didn't you? It's your standard operating procedure. Slash and burn, then rebuild with cheaper, younger talent who don't remember what the company culture was like before."

Dead silence. I can practically hear Gerald's blood pressure rising.

"Ms. Gallo," he starts, but I'm on a roll.

"Here's what you don't know: Those developers? They're not just taking their code with them. They're taking their relationships. Their knowledge. Their ability to mentor junior developers. You're not just losing talent - you're losing your future pipeline."

Alex leans forward slightly, and I definitely don't notice how his shirt pulls across his shoulders. "You have a solution in mind?"

"Several." I swipe through my tablet. "Starting with immediate retention interviews. Not exit interviews - those are useless. We need to talk to the people who are thinking about leaving before they update their LinkedIn profiles."

"And how do you propose we identify those people?" Barbara asks.

I smile. "Trust me, they're not hiding it. Your Slack channels are probably on fire right now with people asking for references. The question is: what are you willing to change to keep them?"

"Our acquisition strategy is sound," Gerald insists.

"Your strategy," I say, meeting his gaze directly, "is like performing surgery with a chainsaw. Sure, you'll get the job done, but you'll kill the patient in the process."

More silence. I'm starting to enjoy it.

"What would you suggest instead?" Alex asks, and there's something in his voice - a hint of... anticipation? Like he's been waiting for someone to say exactly this.

I pull up my proposal - the real one, not the exposé I'm planning. Because here's the thing about being undercover: sometimes the best way to hide is to tell selective truths.

"First, we stop treating corporate culture like it's a ping pong table in the break room and free coconut water in the fridge." I start sharing my slides to the room's display. "Real culture is about trust. Respect. Actually listening to your people instead of just nodding while thinking about stock options."

"The fact is," I continue, "your current integration method is like trying to make your new stepkids love you by throwing money at them and enforcing strict rules. Spoiler alert: Therapy is cheaper, and you'll all hate each other less."

I catch a few smirks from the younger execs. Even Barbara looks like she's fighting a smile. But it's Alex's reaction I'm watching from the corner of my eye.

The way he's taking notes himself instead of having his assistant do it, the slight tilt of his head that suggests he's actually listening.

Stop noticing things about him, I remind myself firmly. You're here to expose his company's toxic culture, not admire his... attention to detail.

"Your retention interviews need to be conducted by someone they trust," I add, pulling up my next slide. "Not HR, not their direct managers. Someone who-"

"Someone like you?" Gerald interrupts.

"Actually, no." I smile sweetly. "They all watched me get firedyesterday, remember? I'm thinking more along the lines of their team leads. The people in the trenches with them. The ones who-"

My tablet pings with a notification. Someone's shared my latest @MizzByteMyAlgos tweet about mandatory meditation. It's already gaining traction.

I swipe it away quickly, but not before catching Alex's slight frown. For a moment, I worry he saw something, but he's already turning to respond to a question from Barbara.

The meeting continues with the kind of back-and-forth that makes corporate America run: passive-aggressive suggestions wrapped in professional courtesy, thinly veiled threats disguised as concerns, and enough buzzwords to give a dictionary a headache.

By noon, we've agreed to my retention interview strategy, though I suspect Gerald only caved because Alex kept quietly backing my suggestions. Which is... interesting. And suspicious. And absolutely not making me reconsider my plans to expose Drake Enterprises' toxic culture.

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