Page 51 of Own Me

"Ho sbagliato, tesoro.I made a mistake—-"

"So itistrue," I say brokenly. "In exchange of h-having the charges dropped, you didn't care that they'd make me marry someone else—-"

He tries to take my hands into his, but I nearly fall out of my seat just to avoid his touch. It wasn't so long ago that I used to crave any kind of contact with him, but now...

"Listen to me, teso—-"

"Stop calling me that," I choke out.

"Then just listen.Per favore.Just please fucking listen. I hurt you. I know that. And I kept hurting you...because I couldn't handle how you made me feel...so fuckingneedy.My mother...she was sent away in prison. She offered to take the blame for my father. Because she loved him—-like I—-"

No!

The moment I realize what he's about to say, I lose it.

No more, dammit.

I manage to take Cesare by surprise as I shove him away, butGod—-

He's always just too fast for me, and I haven't even reached the door when he wraps his arms around mine from behind—-

"I love you, Penelope."

It hurts, oh God. It hurts to hear the words and know that they can't be real.

"I love you so fucking much it reminded me of how my mother desperately loved my father, and how much she begged him to come visit her, but he never fucking did. He told her to fucking deal with the fact that it was over between them, and so she killed herself."

God, no.

I've covered my ears the moment he started speaking, but his words were just too good at piercing my heart—-

"I was terrified I would be like her,tesoro."

So am I, dammit.

Because these words of his are hurting me just as much, with the way they're forcing me to see that the man I used to think as ruthlessly perfect...is as human and flawed as I am.

"I loved you too fucking much, and so I also knew I would not be able to fucking bear it...if they were to succeed in having me sentenced for murder, and I'd be forced to see you gradually get bored of being with me."

Cesare suddenly spins me around, andGod, oh God—-

Now, I have no choice but to see the way his haunted gaze reflected the terror in his heart.

"I know I've failed and hurt you too many times," Cesare says rawly. "I know I have done nothing to deserve you, butplease...please give me another chance,tesoro."

I never imagined a day would come that a man as proud as Cesare would end up begging—-but that's exactly what he's doing now.

"You don't even have to be mine. You don't have to fucking marry me or sign anything. Just take me back,per favore."

And it hurts.

"Make me yours. Punish me for the rest of my life...justdon't fucking go."

It's Cesare's voice this time that cracks, and the sound reminds me for some reason of that one night I've spent in his arms—-

'I don't want another day to pass without making you my wife.'

Those were the very words he whispered, words that I knew even then were simply Cesare's way of indirectly saying he loved me—-because he does.

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