“Thank you,” Cameron said, holding my gaze. “That’s very generous, but I’m happy to work. I want to keep things running smoothly while you’re away.”
I nodded. “Okay. I know you’ll do a great job.”
He gave me a small smile. “I’ll let you rest,” he said, taking a step back.
My chest tightened as I tried to figure out what to say first. What if I said the wrong thing and offended him again? The last thing that I wanted was for him to think that I didn’t respect him.
Without thinking, I reached out for his hand, stopping him from leaving. “Stay. Please.”
He looked down at where I held his hand. “Stay?”
“I need to talk to you,” I said.
He hesitated, but then nodded. “Okay, let’s talk.”
Relief rushed through me for a second as I unlocked the door, but it was soon replaced by another bout of nervousness. I had to get this right. I led him to the living room and gestured to the couch.
Cameron sat down, looking up at me as I remained standing. He tilted his head at me. “What’s wrong?”
What was wrong was the fact that we weren’t together. When we were secretly dating, things were right, even if they were risky. Despite having our differences, we fit together like puzzle pieces.
I just wished that I listened to him when he expressed his concerns over me. If I had taken him seriously, we wouldn’t have broken up. I wouldn’t have freaked out. And I wouldn’t have landed myself in the hospital.
“First off, I just want to apologize again for the terrible things I said to you. I can’t stop playing them over and over again in my head,” I admitted, feeling my stomach churn just at the thought. “I never should’ve spoken to you like that. I shouldn’t have blamed you for the emergency. It wasn’t your fault.”
Cameron nodded slowly. “I appreciate that.”
“I should’ve listened to you when you said that you were worried about me,” I continued, feeling a lump form in my throat. He expressed so much care for me, and I essentially spat in his face. I was an asshole.
“I wasn’t trying to hold you back, but I know that the company means the world to you,” Cameron replied with a slight nod. “I can understand why it rubbed you the wrong way.”
Because I was conditioned to think that taking breaks meant that I wasn’t working hard enough.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. You just wanted the best for me. I shouldn’t have been so awful to you, not when I care so much about you.”
I walked over to him and sat on the couch next to him. I took a deep breath, readying myself for my next words. “The truth is…I want a relationship with you. A real one.”
“A real one?” he echoed.
“One where we don’t have to hide. One where work doesn’t get in the way. One where I’m not your boss.”
His beautiful blue eyes widened. “What are you saying?”
“I can give you the best reference that I can so that you can work at another company. I don’t want to let you go — you’re incredible at your job. But you can be hired as something better than an executive assistant.”
“I never minded being an assistant,” he said.
“I know,” I said. “But if you moved to another company, we wouldn’t be boss and employee anymore. We could take another shot at this relationship as real equals this time.”
Cameron looked away from me, furrowing his brow as he weighed the option. It would mean him losing his job, but he might find an even better one where he could be in a higher position. He deserved it.
Of course, I would be devastated to see him go. He helped me and the company thrive so well because he was so damn good at his job, but I wouldn’t want him to be myassistant forever. He had too much potential.
“Well, you are well respected around here. I’m sure that reference will take me far,” Cameron finally said.
“It’s only an idea,” I said, trying to hide my nervousness. “We don’t have to. It’s only…only if you want to try this again.”
He was silent so long that I started to panic. Oh god. Had I insulted him again? Was he going to say no?