Page 169 of Powerless

I’m hot and cold, yes and no, right and wrong. I’m the embodiment of opposites, a jumble of confusion and contradictions.

I want this.

I don’t want this.

He dips his head so his chin rests on my shoulder.

Oh, I definitely want this.

Oh, but I definitely shouldn’t.

“Then why do you push me away?”

I still. There was so much emotion in his voice, so much raw uncertainty as the words left his lips. He spins me to face him slowly, not bothering to take a step back or put space between us.

My chest heaves, my heart hammers. His eyes crash into mine and I allow myself to take him in, admire this boy that I have come to know.

He’s devastating. Everything about him is stunning and sharp and stealing my breath away. But it’s the way he’s looking at me that suddenly makes swallowing seem like a struggle, breathing seem like a chore. I’ve never been looked at like it’s a privilege to be in my presence, an honor to hold my gaze, a gift to get a glimpse of me. Not until I met him.

His mask slips, splinters, shatters, leaving only a boy beholding a girl like she is worthy of his wanting.

And what terrifies me even more is that I think I might be looking at him the same way, looking at him with that same longing. Try as I might to fight it, I can’t help but long for this boy who has saved my life more times than I care to admit. This boy who is equally calculating and charming, equally cool and caring. The one who’s tended to my wounds, learned about my past, been my distraction when I needed it most.

The one who understands me.

And then my heart halts, pulse plummets.

But he doesn’t, does he?

He doesn’t even know who I truly am.WhatI truly am. And if he did, he would kill me. Because that is what the Enforcer would do. Because that is what the king’s son would do. Because that is what he has been created to do.

And for that reason, I push him away. Because if I don’t, I’ll pull him closer. And if I pull him closer, it will only end in a dagger being plunged through my heart. The heart that beats a little too fast when he is around, breaks a little too easily, and aches a little too much for him.

I stare back at him, not knowing what to say or do or—

I’m suddenly swept from his arms and into another's before I have the chance to answer.

Perfect timing.

“You look beautiful,” Jax spits out, grinning from ear to ear. “That’s what I was going to say earlier.” He puffs out his chest slightly, proud of himself for finally voicing the compliment.

“Thank you, Jax,” I say, smiling at him. When the song comes to an end, I quickly step off the dancefloor. I’m eager to get away from the press of bodies as I snatch a drink off a servant’s tray and head for the edge of the ballroom. Except that I can’t seem to escape crowd. Everywhere I look is occupied by groups of gossiping guests or silent servants.

My eyes sweep over the packed ballroom, landing on the large widows and the fresh air that awaits just outside of them. I itch for a moment to myself, a moment free from the crowded and closed-in room.

I sip at my wine, watching the whirling guests before I set the glass on the table and head for the hallway beyond the ballroom. I’m forced to slide between bodies, hating the cramped feeling.

I suck in a deep breath as I head towards the giant, grand doors leading to the courtyard beyond. The sound of my heels clicking against the floor fills the silence as I approach the daunting doors.

My hand is outstretched, itching to throw open the exit when a Flash speeds between me and my salvation.

ChapterFifty-Two

Paedyn

The Imperial’ssmile is cold as he peers down at me, white uniform crisp and smelling of starch.

“I can’t let you do that, little lady.” His belittling tone has me biting back the retort rising to my lips.

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