Page 203 of Powerless

“I see.” Ididsee. I understand how she feels. How it feels to be so swallowed, so smothered, by grief.

My eyes shift to Kai, taking in his stiff shoulders, his bruised and bloody knuckles.

I pity the who or what he hit to take his mind off things.

I almost cluck my tongue at him, wanting to chastise my little brother for wearing that cool mask of his around me. He never does that, never shuts me out of his feelings like he is doing now.

I’m not sure what Kai felt for our father, but I know he never cared for him like I do—like Idid. Perhaps it was a mix of love and loathing he felt for the man who made him into what he is. The man who was a king to him, not a father.

But to me, Father was my foundation. He was who I strived to be, who I longed to be loved by. But now he’s dead, and I’m still willing to do whatever it takes to make him proud. I’ve been walking through my whole life waiting to follow in his footsteps, and here I am, suddenly trying to fill his shoes. And I will do what needs to be done, so that in death, he will be proud.

I glance at my brother, knowing he feels the grief too. Despite their rough relationship, Kai still lost the man he called Father, if only in title alone. I can glimpse that grief peeking out in the hard set of his jaw, the constant crinkle of his brow, the bounce of his knee.

But I know he’s mourning more than one person.

I know I am.

“Kai.” His attention snaps to me. “My coronation is completed, Father’s burial has been delt with,” I pause, needing a moment to clear the emotion from my throat, “and you are now my true Enforcer.” He nods slowly, knowing all this information already. “So, it’s time for your first mission.”

He nods again, just as slowly. It’s a formality. We both know he couldn’t refuse even if he wanted to. He has sworn his services to me despite how damn awkward our dynamic has become. I knew I would be ruling over my brother one day, I just didn’t think that day would come so soon, so suddenly.

I school my features into neutrality. “Find her.”

And there goes Kai’s mask. It slips, flooding his face with feelings that flit by too fast for me to interpret. But I’m not blind. I saw the way she affected him. Saw the way he let his guard down around her, something he used to reserve only for me. It seems that she got the best of both of us before stabbing us both in the back by stabbing father through the chest and throat.

My only true parent, dead. The parent I have been trying to please, make proud, my entire life. Lying lifeless beside me. My knees sinking into the mud as my tears—

“I want you to find her,” I speak over the shouting sorrow in my head, “and I want you to bring her to me.”

Kai doesn’t look at me as he dips his head in a single, solemn nod. “Yes, Your Majesty.”

The title on his lips sounds foreign, but I find I like the ring of it. I stand from my seat and stride over to the one with faded brown leather, filled with the memory of a dead king.

And then I sit down, slowly.

“Bring me Paedyn Gray, Enforcer.”

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