Page 33 of The Other Side of Together

She laughs and we cross the street. “I’m sure Lin won’tmind my imaginary company until then but…I’m guessing your dad doesn’t know you’re with a girl today.”

I glance down at our tangled hands, watching them swing as we walk. My arm’s twice as long as hers, but somehow, our arms and hands fit perfectly. Bet there are some other things that might fit perfectly, too. Lips. Only lips. Geez. I mentally shake myself and clear my throat. “Uh, nope—definitely not, but I haven’t even kissed you yet, so I think I’m pretty safe.” I grin into the afternoon as she raises her eyebrows and laughs, just as shocked as I am that a piece of my thoughts slipped out. “Also glad you didn’t answer my stupid joke earlier ‘cause now you owe me a date. Mei Li Zhang style.”

The rain goes from drops to downpour, so we stand under a tree, soaked and downing Starbursts we bought along the way. My blanket’s wrapped around us, and Mei’s so close, my body cranks up the heat until my palms sweat and my face flushes. I pray the rain never stops so I can stand here all day and absorb her. Or kiss her. She’ll taste like lemon Starbursts. But if I do, I’ll drop the blanket around us, and she’ll move away and…moment ruined. Also, I want my hands free to go wherever they wanna go. Which is pretty much everywhere they shouldn’t. So…motorcycle. MOTORCYCLE. I’ve always known girls could mess me up, but this is next-level internal chaos. So glad my head isn’t see-through.

When the rain lets up, we saunter out of The Presidio toward Golden Gate Bridge and Mei smiles at her feet.

“What?” I ask, trying to meet her eyes.

“Nothing.”

“Your smile says you’re a liar.”

“I was just wondering what you’re thinking. I can’t see your eyes from down here.”

I smile into the air ahead of us. “Uh…I’m thinking a whole lot about kissing you.” She presses her lips together and I hurry and add, “But I won’t. ‘Cause I know how pathetic my self-control is with things like Oreos and soccer and you’re way harder to resist than those. So…” I pop a Starburst into my mouth to keep it busy.

She frown-smiles. “What does that mean?”

I shrug. “Oreos are my weakness. Used to be my biggest.” I take the wet blanket, stuff it in my backpack, then walk backward, unwrapping another Starburst, watching her smile at me. I pop it into my mouth and wiggle my eyebrows, then glance over my shoulder to make sure I won’t back into anything. “Keep hanging out with me and kissing will happen, Mei Z. Fair warning. Just gotta keep things chill until graduation.”

She plays with her necklace, bites her lip. “Why’s that?”

“A little bet I made with my dad in ninth grade,” I call to her, the sound of traffic on the bridge swelling around us. “Avoid excessive girl contact until after graduation, get a motorcycle.” She nods, so I go on. “I really want it, but I also really want you, so…it’s gonna be hard if we keep this up.”

“Not sure I can compete with a motorcycle.”

My Adidas shriek against the wet grass as I continue walking backward, and Mei walks slowly toward me. “I already know you’rewaybetter than any motorcycle. I just want both.”

Her smile cuts through the mist, making me squint as I smile, and she runs toward me. I switch my backpack to my chest so I can pick her up and swing her onto my back. She squeals and I grip her thighs as I run across the field, down the road, and through a tunnel. Laughter squishes out of her every time she bounces against my back. The sound echoes off the cement walls and into me as I run up the ramp, laughing at her laughing.

Slowing to catch my breath, I walk along the bridge railing. Her chest presses against my wet back, her armswrapped around my shoulders, hands on my chest like she’s locking us together. My fingertips flex against her thighs and I slow, way, way down. Her hair tickles my neck, and I wanna flip her around and press her against the chain-link fence. Make out with her while cars whiz past and shake the bridge beneath us. But if I want my motorcycle, I won’t. And if I don’t wanna scare myself or her, I can’t. Even though I should be scared and running ‘cause now I understand why people jump off this bridge when their feelings get too big. Mine wanna burst out of me, climb the bridge, and paraglide out to the ocean.

She rests her chin on top of my head and I suck in too much air, coughing a few times. About halfway across the bridge, I stop and let her slide off my back. We stand next to each other, pinkies hooked around each other as we look out over the bay.

She takes a deep breath and lets it out in a sigh. “This has been one of the best days ever.”

I smile into the breeze. “Top ten, at least?”

“Top two.” She glances at me out of the corner of her eye, and I turn toward her, my elbow on the rail.

“What’s number one?”

“It hasn’t happened yet. I’ll tell you when it does.” She watches a seagull float on the breeze.

I wanna be the biggest part of her number one day. I wanna be part of all her days.

“What are you doing after graduation?” I swallow and curl my toes in my shoes.

She pauses, watches the ship below us, then talks to the bay. “I’ve got an internship in L.A. Hopefully culinary school in the fall.”

“Where?” My stomach tries to hide behind my other organs.

She shrugs and swallows like whatever she’s gonna sayhurts. “I’m waiting to hear.” She shifts, looking through the fencing and over the bay. “What are your plans?”

I wanna ask more questions but she’s locked that inner door again and I shouldn’t have asked the “future” question at all ‘cause I don’t wanna talk about mine. I slide my fingers through hers, the answer scraping up my throat as I pull her away from the railing and off the bridge, down the ramp, back through the tunnel.

When she looks at me and raises her eyebrows, I look straight ahead, my eyes scanning the tunnel’s opening so far away. “Verbally committed to USF.” It’s too loud in here to talk. Traffic rumbling above us, wind, the silence of unsaid words I wanna suffocate.

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