Page 38 of The Other Side of Together

Audrey leans forward, a weird grin on her face. “What’s she like?”

My mind draws a cross-section of Mei, arrows pointing to different parts of her. An arrow labeled ‘Intriguing’ points to her head; her mind is an entirely new universe to discover. One arrow labeled ‘Killer’ points to her smile. A big clump points to all the parts of her body I like best—long, slender fingers; deep eyes; skinny bird legs. Arrows pointing to the way she dresses; how she watches me when we talk like she’s absorbing every word I say. The way she floats more than moves, and how her voice calms me. The smart, funny things that come out of her mouth. The only thing I don’t like about her is her taste in music, but we can work on that.

An arrow points to the tattoo on her neck and, in mydiagram, my initials are under it. It’s so permanent and personal, I choke on my own air when my stomach knots.

“You okay?” Audrey tilts her head.

“Yeah. Good.”

“Wow—you floated off to La-La land. You’ve got it bad.” Her smile’s too wide. “I can’t wait to meet this girl who replaced my girl-avoiding nephew with a lovesick man.”

“Not lovesick.”

She raises her eyebrows, challenging me.

Lovesick? Is this how it starts? Oh, no way. It’s been two weeks. A month if you count our notes. But why can’t I sleep? I’ve never had a problem sleeping. I stare out the windows during class. I see her everywhere, like she’s tattooed on my eyeballs, and everything I look at has a Mei on it. I repeat the word in my mind, trying to get used to it being in there. It’s never been there before. This feeling can’t be that. But maybe. Eventually. If things keep going. Could it?

“Take it slow, Marcus. I’ve dealt with enough hormonal guys to know that sometimes love gets overtaken by other feelings. There’s no rush.”

“Don’t even know what I’m doing anyway, since, you know, not a lot of girls in my life besides you. I just…I don’t wanna mess things up.” Face Eater eating Mei’s face in the alley flashes in my mind. “I want everything to be perfect.”

I like having Mei in my world. Like having her all over my days and talking to her until way too late. Love having thoughts of her all over my head. The sound of her laugh everywhere inside it. Having her all over me would just be a bonus. My life feels bigger with her in it. Soccer and school are still cool but she’s the coolest thing by far. She’s the first thing I think about when I wake up, and I take her with me through my day, wondering what she’d think about the guy in history who’s a total perv. Or what she looks like sitting at a desk, working out a calculus problem. And I always, always, wonder what she’s doing. Thinking. How she’smoving. Who’s lucky enough to see her smile at that moment. Or does she save the big, sparkly, dimple smile just for me?

Mei’s opened a whole new side of me. Something amazing and crazy is rumbling through my life.

It’s official: I’m falling for her, big time.

My eyes snap to Audrey’s. “This can’t be happening—I’m eighteen. Haven’t even kissed her yet,” I blurt.

She smiles and tilts her head. “Your dad fell in love when he was seventeen.”

“It obviously wasn’t love, but he thought it was, and then everything fell apart and he’s sad and alone and bored enough to want me to be there with him.”

She tilts her head and gives me a mom stare. “For Ray, it was love. For your mom, maybe it wasn’t, maybe it was. Love doesn’t look the same for everyone. Everyone has their own experiences. This is yours.”

What if I’m headed for love, but Mei’s not? That would be the ultimate form of messed up. My chest tightens, air flow stops. No way. She has to be as into this as I am. Doesn’t she? Or is she gonna take off like my mom? Leave me with feelings I have no clue how to handle?

“What do I do?” I ask Audrey. “I don’t know the rules or how to do anything.”

“You’re obviously doing something right.”

“I know, but like…now I wanna know everything about girls so I can do everything right and be perfect for her so she’ll have no reason to leave…” I take a deep breath and let it out.

Audrey rubs one of the leaves on the plant in the center of the table, then looks at me. “When you say that, are you referring to falling in love or…other stuff?”

I shift in my chair, then press a hand to my ribs. “No! Yes? Everything. I’m just curious. For way after graduation, if this thing continues. I mean, I’m not gonna be a monk forever so Ijust wanna do my research for…eventually. When I make ‘the big commitment,’ quoting Dad.”

She rolls her eyes. “You would.” Twisting her hair off her neck, she pulls it into a high ponytail. “You sure you want to knoweverythingabout girls? It might scare you away.”

I hesitate. “Yeah? I mean…yeah.”

“Ah. Like you want to get straight A’s in Girl.”

“Yeah,” I grin, “Like that.”

She nods. “So very Marcus of you. And not very boy of you.” She pins me with her eyes. “But that’s a very, very good thing, I assure you.” She sits taller in her seat and smiles. “I can tell you all about girls and answer all your questions. Shoot!”

I jab my spoon into my shake again.

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