Page 49 of The Other Side of Together

She closes her eyes and nods before looking at me again and whispering, “I’m in” before grabbing Buddha and wrapping her arms around my neck. “100 percent. But we have to be completely secret.”

When I grunt and reach for the wall, she lets go and steps back, hand over her mouth, but I smile through a grimace and slide onto my bed, stretching out on my back to breathe through the pain. “I swear you and Face Eater are both trying to kill me.”

I stand in Lex’s garage that smells like his neighbor’s weed farm growing on their balcony. I keep my sunglasses on despite the setting sun so Dad won’t see everything I’m hiding from him. As far as I know, Mei’s the only one who can read my thoughts, but just in case.

My temperature’s still significantly elevated from today’s make out which went on a whole lot longer than last night’s.Waylonger. Making out with Mei is straight up magic, but I had to remind myself about the motorcycle a few hundred times. Luckily, my crying ribs helped keep things under control.

“Let’s see what you got, M.C.,” Dad says, lifting the garage door. He throws me a helmet and I pull it on before sliding onto the motorcycle, steadying it as Dad climbs on behind me.

I clench my jaw and swing my leg over the seat like moving’s not grinding my ribs to dust, and grip the handlebars, peeling out of the garage. Dad slugs my shoulder to slow it down but I haven’t slowed down anything since I metMei, and definitely haven’t honored his wishes. I let up on the gas.

A few minutes later, we pull up to Golden Gate State Park and I kill the engine and take off my helmet. Dad slides off the bike and I put down the kickstand and step off. We sit on the railing, overlooking the bay, our heels kicking against the metal, helmets in our laps. I focus on the water instead of letting my eyes wander to the bridge where Mei and I were last weekend. Gotta stay here with Dad.

“Big month, my man.” He wraps his arm around my shoulders, slipping me in a headlock and knuckles my head, then lets go, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

I look across the bay and blink away the sting in my eyes. This is it. Last few weeks of life as I’ve known it. Just me and Dad, doing our thing. After graduation, things will change. Especially if Mei sticks around for culinary school. We’ll keep dating and, eventually I’ll tell Dad about her. Once he gets to know her, he’ll approve, and everything will be cool.

I swallow nausea and anxiety. Sadness. Disappointment in myself. The combo tastes like rusty metal and puke. Curling my toes in my Adidas, I fight to keep my mouth shut when I wanna tell Dad everything like I always have. Wanna tell him about Mei and how I’m starting to feel about her and hear him tell me he gets it, and I don’t have to sneak around. That he’ll lock up Face Eater and fix everything that’s messed up with Mei’s family. That everything’s gonna be okay. I want Mei and Dad. Why do I have to choose?

“How you feelin’ about graduation?” He keeps his eyes straight ahead, but his jaw clenches and pulses like he’s pushing back emotion.

I take a deep breath, hoping fresh air will yank all the sadness out of this freaking moment. “Excited. Nervous. Ready. All of it.”

He glances at me. “Yeah?”

I keep my head turned from him so I can blink away tearsof loss from signing with USF instead of Stanford. From lying to him. From growing up and considering leaving him. “Just getting kinda real.”

He shifts on the railing and clears his throat. “Yeah. Came way too fast but I’m so proud of you, son.” He blinks and tightens his grip on the railing.

“Dad.” My voice breaks. “You’re kinda killin’ me.”

His eyes are glossy as he smiles. “Should we have a sob fest and get it over with? It’s a happy time, right? My son’s going places I never went, doing big things I never did.” A tear slides down his cheek and I lean my elbows on my knees like someone just punched me in the gut, and my insides hurt way worse than my ribs. I let out a long, shaky breath, and he laughs.

“Raising you’s been the best eighteen years of my life.” He nods and swipes at another tear. “I’ve spent a lot of time burnt over your mom leaving but…it was her loss and my luck.”

I wipe both palms down my face to clear the tears and groan. “You gotta stop, Dad. Seriously.”

“No way. It’s how I feel. And I don’t let myself do that too often. So deal with the love coming out of my eyes.” He bumps my shoulder with his. “Love you, M.C.”

I open my mouth to tell him I love him, too when a group of women next to us asks him to take their picture, one of them smiling at Dad a little bigger than politely. When he comes back, I nod to the group, grateful for a conversation detour.

“Think that lady wants you to ask for her number.”

He glances at her, then back at me. “Not happening.”

“She not your type?”

He watches a boat creep under the bridge and shrugs. “Not sure what my type is. Thought it was your mom. Thought she wanted the same things I did. I had big plans for us. I was gonna get recruited to the FBI and eventually marryher, but then she wound up pregnant and took off after you were born.” He studies his feet. “I hate the way things ended with her but glad I got what I got. She’s the one lacking.” He squints as he looks out over the water, his feet kicking the railing. If there’s a crack anywhere in Dad’s campaign against women, I need it to spread wide open. Maybe I could tell him that I’m merely interested in Mei. Make the lie a little less sharp.

“Not every woman’s like my mom.” Now it’s my turn to watch the boats, the setting sun glinting off their windows.

He raises his eyebrows. “You speaking from experience?”

Okay. Nope. Not ready to tell him. “No.” I shake my head probably a little too fast. “Nah…just thinking. Probability’s low.”

“Why risk an amazing future by betting on probability?” He shakes his head, staring out at the ocean.

The lump in my stomach sprouts legs and crawls into my throat, digging in like a tick that sucks out all my Mei confidence. I wanna ask him if he ever felt about someone the way I feel about Mei.

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