Page 58 of The Other Side of Together

“She said she’d love to see more from you.”

I press my lips together and force them into a wobbly smile. “Wow. That’s great.” If only my heartache and fear would let some excitement through.

“It takes a lot to impress her, but I think I managed to.” He leans back, folding his arms over his chest. “And it’s only going to get better. I found us an apartment in L.A. with unbelievable views, brand new, best of the best. All it’s missing is you.”

I swallow and glance at the table, hoping to find a response written on it, but he squeezes my hand and I look up at him. My emotions are no longer rooted, and words flypast them. “It sounds amazing, but I’m not sure I’m ready for all that and…I don’t know, I just—”

“You’re just confused.” Nick tilts his head. “That’s the natural consequence of playing house with the detective’s son.”

My eyes snap to his, my pulse rapid gunfire, and I open my mouth to fire back an equally rapid denial, but Nick shakes his head.

“While I’ve been busy coordinating a beautiful future for us, you’ve been betraying me and your family.” He shakes his head slowly. “I don’t know this side of you—the total disregard for our plan and for what I’m doing for you.” He reaches for my hand, but I pull it back. He hesitates, then goes on. “I know I’ve made mistakes, but we’ve gotten through them. Would you turn your back on everything you could have for some little boy whose father could snatch your dreams and send you all back to Taiwan?”

“That’s not—”

“Don’t interrupt me.” His voice lunges at me and I ball my fists in my lap to resist throwing my hands over my face like a shield. “I’ve given you everything you could possibly want, but it’s not enough, I guess. And what’s so baffling is how much you’re willing to throw away for a boy. I understand being curious, but you and I both know this can’t last. It’s impossible. You know that right?”

“Let me just tell you what—”

“No. Let me tell you.” He sits forward, his voice a low clap of thunder. “You’re a brilliant chef but not brilliant enough on your own, so next Thursday, you’re going with me to L.A. to meet Chef Torres. You will intern with her over the summer because I will not let you embarrass me by backing out. You’ve been telling me about your dreams for years and I’m making them happen. We’ll live a life of complete luxury—culinary school in Napa in the fall, open a restaurant whenyou finish. Become the next big thing on the L.A. food scene. What more could I possibly give you?”

My eyes strain to hold in confused, misdirected tears I should have cried for Marcus but will waste on my own stupidity. I bite my quivering lip. What I used to see as my chance at freedom is coming out of Nick’s mouth like chains. I don’t want to work with him, but I don’t want to be stuck here forever, around the corner from what could have been. Even though what could have been ended when my shirt hit the floor.

My face burns and my voice is thin like it might snap. “I could have done it myself and saved you the trouble.” I picture Chef Marco in his white coat, elbowing his way through a crowd to tell me I’m going places. On my own, not because of Nick.

Nick smiles at the table, then looks back up at me. “You’d have to start at the bottom like everyone else. It would take you years to get a chance like the one I’m handing you.”

I curl my toes and search his face, my neck tight with anger and hatred. “Why?” He knows about Marcus. And that I’ve been avoiding him—lying to him with every text. He has to know I don’t feel the way he wants me to feel about him. I dig my nails into my thighs. “Why are you doing this?”

He tilts his head. “Because. You didn’t get to this country without my father’s help and I’m the one keeping you in it. You want out of your house but can’t do it without me. I’m making that possible for you because I’ve always loved you, despite how you choose to repay my generosity.” He folds his hands on the table and talks to them. “All I want is the best for you. So, tell me how that makes me the bad guy.”

When he looks up at me, my thoughts slump, deflated, because he’s right. I can’t get out of my house without him. I can’t get into culinary school—or into any college—on my own because I’m not even supposed to be in America. Nickand his connections are the only way for me to stay and do anything. Not even Marcus could have changed that.

Nick reaches across the table and grabs my hand, his thumb moving along my knuckles. “I know you’re scared, and I know you have your plans, but they won’t work without me. People will get hurt. Your family…me.” He rubs my hand. “The detective’s son.” His voice scrapes against my ears as he tightens his grip on my hand.

I tense, fighting the urge to rip my hand away.

“You can have everything. Or nothing. Your choice.”

The meaning behind his words oozes into my empty spaces.

“Don’t you see how beautiful your life could be? How easy and different from all this?” His dark eyes scan the dining room before landing on mine again, pouring black into me and just before I drown in realization, I nod once. An hour ago, I was ready to give myself and all my secrets to Marcus. Now, I’m reminded I have nothing that’s mine to give.

Nick’s smile broadens but doesn’t add any light to his tone. “There’s the girl I love. I knew she would come to her senses. You’ve forgiven me and I forgive you.” He picks up his water glass and takes a long, demanding drink, then sets it down and leans toward me. “So let’s talk about L.A.”

He shifts the conversation to Chef Torres’s restaurant. A black-tie event. A dress. Jewelry. Something about showing me off. How I should act and what I should and should not say. I can’t hear any of the details over the sound of my mind frantically beating on Marcus’s door. But I can’t run to him. I can never see him again. His voice will never rumble through me, saying nerdy things that make me laugh. Asking questions that dig around my soul. I’ll never feel his hands running through my hair. His body wrapped around mine like a shield.

I’ll never get to tell him the truth.

If I let Nick’s darkness flow into me, it will suffocate allmy secrets, all my guilt, all my Marcus memories and happiness and hope. But empty has to feel better thanfragments of myself tearing me open from the inside. Letting Nick in is the quickest way to kill it all and put me back in reality.

I stare right into the darkness behind his eyes through the rest of dinner, only closing mine when Nick’s lips force mine open in his version of making me understand before he leaves the restaurant.

When he’s gone, his darkness hangs from me, trails me up to my room. It pulls me to the floor and floods me as I sob out whatever’s left inside me until my phone buzzes, throwing light into the black silence.

I uncurl from my ball on the floor and pull it out, clutching my throat as I read:

Marcus: I’m sorry Mei. Everything was moving so fast and then Meemaw walked in and holy freak. I’m sorry about all of it. All the things I said before she came. How frustrated I got. Meemaw wanted to chat me up so I couldn’t text until now. Can you talk?

---