Page 61 of The Other Side of Together

“Nah. No. Just wondering. Like you always say—girls just mess you up.” So he doesn’t know Meemaw sent her a graduation announcement, or that she lives six hours south of here. I wonder how bad it will mess Dad up if my mom shows up to graduation. Or me?

“Most do, yep.” He stretches and I grab onto his words.

Most? What happened to “all women are awful”?

“That’s why it’s just you and me. Girl-free apartment without a trace of the feminine touch. But who needs it, right?”

It had a whole lot of feminine touching in it three nights ago, and I think I need it. My chest still tingles where Mei’s body pressed against it. Pretty much all over it. I shift in my chair.

“Especially when you have a gorgeous, shiny new girl waiting for you in Lex’s garage.”

My eyes snap to his. “She came?”

“Couple days ago. I’m surprised you haven’t seen the key hanging in the kitchen, teasing you.” He rubs his hands together and smiles. “It’s definitely teasing me, but gotta get you graduated and slip a big, red bow on her. Then? She’s all yours.”

I stare down at the street. The moment I’ve been anticipating for the last four years and I feel…nothing about it.

“Still planning on Stanford campus tour this afternoon?”

“Oh.” I jerk my eyes to his, clear my throat. “Yeah.” Totally forgot we signed up for that months ago. Pretty much forgotten everything in the past few weeks. My loyalty toDad. Promises. That I still need to tell him I’m not actually going to Stanford.

“Because I was thinking…Since your meemaw and Audrey have plans, maybe we could check out the new branch of The Clubhouse together. I’ll get a couple hotel rooms, you can invite the guys, and we’ll be back before church tomorrow. Sound good?”

I look up, surprised. I’ve been pretending this long, why not keep it up? Plus, it will get me out of here and might be the only time I step on Stanford’s campus. “Sounds great.”

Mei’s everywhere. In the song playing in the restaurant at dinner. On the crumpled Chinese restaurant takeout flyer that tumbled across the sidewalk during the campus tour. In the package of vending machine Sour Skittles I couldn’t stop myself from buying. She’s in the lime air freshener in the elevator and the girl who was laughing hysterically at something her boyfriend said while we were supposed to be listening to the admissions counselor. She’s in my head, on my skin, in my heart…her absence from my life stabbing it violently. It drops me to my knees on the abandoned soccer field and I clutch my stomach. Somehow, Mei’s even affecting my digestion.

I have to talk to her. Tired of talking to myself, imagining what happened. I have to talk to her in the only way I can right now. I didn’t wanna leave a note with Guo because I don’t want her reading what I need to say to Mei, but I’m desperate.

I pull the Sharpie from my pocket and color another letter in “THE END” I drew on my arm in block letters. Once they’re all filled in, it’s safe to say Mei’s gone for good. I take out the local real estate flyer handed to me on my way across campus and flip it over, using my leg as a desk:

Mei,

I’m sitting on an empty soccer field at Stanford. It’s 8:21 PM. A bug is crawling up my leg. I’m overwhelmed with the details of my future. Wish I was coming here in the fall. Dad bought me a Stanford shirt and I’m wearing it, but still not sure how to tell him I’m going to USF. I have a headache, but nothing close to my heartache. Everything feels all wrong. Like that I had Greek fast food for dinner but wanted Chinese. That I haven’t talked to you in three days. I can’t stop freaking thinking about you but can’t leave you another voicemail. I’ve already left 12. The worst (best?) thing is that I can’t stop thinking about the way I felt when you told me you loved me. I can’t stop thinking about how incredibly cool I am with being messed up as long as you’re the one messing me up. It’s been 76 hours, 12 minutes, and according to my very reliable watch, 34 seconds since I last saw you. 3 DAYS. I can’t do this, Mei. I want you to mess me up every day because at least—

“Marcus?”

My head snaps up. Tavah Riggs walks cautiously toward me, and I shove the letter in my back pocket.

“Hey. Johnny invited some of us to meet you guys at some party, but you weren’t there, and after bugging him while he and Sav were making out, he told me you were here. Mind if I join you?”

I stare up at her. Don’t know what to say.

Tavah stops walking. “You do mind. Sorry.”

“Hey, no—you’re fine.” Ah, seriously? “I don’t mind. I’m just…sitting.”

“You sure?” She tilts her head. She has incredibly shiny hair and lips. The combination is…bright.

“Yeah—definitely.”

She sits on the grass beside me, leaving plenty of space between us. Just pretend I’m in chemistry and she’s sitting next to me at our table. Easy.

“So, umm, Marcus…can I ask you something?”

I glance at her. She’s pretty. I forgot. She’s also the least complicated person on this soccer field right now and it’s calming.

“Is it true, what everyone says about you?”

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