Page 66 of The Other Side of Together

“What about Nick?” Chaz asks and Xander laughs once.

“You think he’ll get his hands dirty? He’ll make sure their dinner goes long so the job’s done when they get back.”

Chaz swears. “Yeah, okay. We’ll make sure it gets done. It just might not be in the way Mr. Chao prefers.”

“Don’t take any chances, C.” Fear and longing weigh down Xander’s voice and I press my lips together and think about the women usually draped around Chaz. Maybe they’re his suit of armor…?

“I’ll be careful. I’m just tired of this. Nick crossed a line with Su Ling.”

I straighten.

“She has kids. Nick played too close to home this time. He’s being reckless and we’re all gonna pay.”

“I agree, but we can’t turn him in. He’ll retaliate.”

“If we can’t turn him in, maybe it’s time to turn myself in. I can hand over what’s left of the fentanyl, give the cops any info they need. I’d get ten years max, but it would get me out of this.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?” Chaz’s voice gets rough. “No, Xan. Don’t leave me in this.”

Everything on the other side of the door goes quiet, and I put my hand over my mouth, knowing I’ve heard way too much. But maybe it’s exactly what I needed to hear.

CHAPTER 24

Mei,

It’s Saturday. Ten days since we’ve talked. Tavah’s gonna be here in a few minutes and I feel like I’m cheating on you. Is it possible to cheat on silence? On last week? On a ghost? If so…here goes.

Blue and orange strobe lights flash over our group as we mosh to the music thumping through the speakers. Heat and humidity stick to my neck and I unbutton my collar, then rip off my tux jacket and fling it onto a nearby table. Sweat slides down my temple and my face hurts from smiling, my throat hoarse from laughing and yelling over the music. No one in our group had a drop of alcohol at dinner but we’re wired.

Ty and Raj take turns chest bumping me to the beat and rebel yelling while Tavah and her girls wind around and through us, breathless and laughing with their hands in the air, hips swaying. And, no surprise, Johnny and Sav are tangled together, moving in a slow circle as they make-out. As stupid as it looks and is, I turn my back to them because it hurts like Mei.

The crowd swells and Tavah jostles into me, ripping me out of the Mei moment, and I start jumping again, right in the middle of our group, Tavah in front of me. When the song ends, we stay facing each other, laughing and wiping our foreheads. I laugh down at her, plumping her puffy sleeves like pillows. “Oh no!” I yell over the thumping bass of the next song. “You’re deflated! The 80s are dying!”

She throws her head back and laughs, her hair flying around her face since she danced it out of its clips earlier. I don’t bother backing away as the crowd presses us together. I wanna know what it feels like to be close to this girl who’s a popped bottle of champagne, bubbling and fizzing all over the place.

Her friends wiggle into our space, their neon dresses streaking in the dark, and we all sing along with the song at the top of our lungs, Tavah by far the loudest.

“No way!” I yell down at her, eyebrows raised. “You like this song?”

“Are you kidding?” Her smile explodes in the dark, reflecting pink light. “I LOVE this song. Can’t get tired of it. I’ve tried.” Her face shines with sweat and glitter from the sparkly stuff on her eyelids.

We jump to the beat, bumping against each other and everyone else, and when the song ends and slides into a slow one, I slip my hands around her waist, pull her to me, and lean in. “Slow dance?”

She smiles and nods, pressing her chest to mine as she wraps her arms around my neck. My fingers flex on her waist, sliding a little lower to her hips. Our knees and thighs brush against each other as we sway, her body moving with mine. She rests her chin on my shoulder, and I close my eyes. Mei would have to wear ten-inch heels for her chin to reach my shoulder. I clench my jaw. She’d also have to be here with me so her chin could be on my shoulder. Ten days. No calls, no texts. No late-night video chats. Justnothing but guilt, shame, regret, pain. Unanswered questions.

I lean my head against Tavah’s, and her arms tighten around my neck, her body melting into mine. Her heart pounds against my chest, making me all warm and tingly, but I shift when my ribs complain. Everything about Mei hurts. Everywhere Mei used to be. If Tavah had bodyguards, she’d at least tell me ahead of time and explain exactly why they wanted to whoop me. She’d tell me when so I could prepare. And if Tavah and I had once been together but were over, she’d tell me exactly why. I’d never have to guess. Haven’t had to guess once tonight. She even called me on Monday and asked for my measurements so she could get the perfect baby blue tux and shoes to go with the 80s theme. Told me all the plans. Warned me about the shirt ruffles.

When Audrey came over tonight before Tavah picked me up, she’d stroked with joy when she’d seen my ruffled shirt, then practically chained me to the toilet seat so she could do my hair in a big 80s way. She’d tried to get the details about what was happening with Mei. When I told her we broke up, she asked if I was okay. Told me she was concerned like any loving aunt would be but congratulated me for moving on and not holing up in my room. I avoided her eyes, just in case Meemaw had told her what she walked in on. I’d changed the subject and when Tavah had shown up at The Clubhouse wearing puffy sleeves and equally big hair and earrings, they’d cackled about it all. I’d watched the second girl to ever be inside The Clubhouse and wondered how Audrey and Mei would have gotten along. Doesn’t matter anymore.

Dad had been surprisingly chill about the whole Tavah and prom thing. On the train ride home from Stanford, he’d been distracted by a text that made him oddly hyper, so I’d taken advantage of the moment and told him Tavah had asked me to prom. Maybe should’ve done that when Mei was a thing. No need now. Motorcycle’s mine. Especially sinceDad gave me a 2 AM curfew and warned me for the zillionth time that only pregnancy happens after midnight, not motorcycles. In order for that to happen, I’d have to get these pants off and they’re so tight, it would take serious effort from multiple people.

Now that the bass is mellow, I can feel my heart and wanna rip it out and put it in all of Mei’s newfound space instead of having it trapped inside me. Wonder what Mei would think of the lack of space between Tavah and me right now.

If I never hear from her again, will I start something with Tavah? Will I feel the same way I did about Mei? Tavah’s feeling pretty great right now, all silky and tight. She doesn’t fit in the same places Mei does—did—but she fits in others I could definitely get used to. But would I hop a train to go see her at Berkeley? Would she do the same to spend the weekend with me?

Our heads rest against each other, our stomachs moving as we breathe, and when the song fades into another fast one, I pull back. “Gotta pee. Sorry—went a little crazy on the virgin daiquiris at dinner.”

Her hands slide from around my neck and down my shoulders. “’Kay. Probably a good idea for me, too. Lots of jumping.” She smooths her hair and smiles.

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