Page 79 of The Other Side of Together

Probability of getting into Stanford: unknown

Scenario #2: Get a place near USF with Mei.

Probability of Nick hunting her down: 281%

Probability of Dad finding us and Mei getting deported: 99%

Probability of hurting Dad: 100%

Probability I don’t care anymore: 3,000%

Scenario #3: Suck it up and tell Dad about Nick. Make him swear not to implicate Mei. Hide her at The Clubhouse until I figure out the whole Stanford thing.

Probability I won’t be able to handle the look on Dad’s face even though he’s a liar, too: 98.9%. I saw his shocked/disappointed look when Jeff and I got busted by oneof Dad’s cop friends for trespassing in that abandoned building near Jeff’s house. But this is way bigger. New levels of bigger.

Probability Dad will arrest Nick and lock him up:100%

Probability Nick could hurt Mei even in custody: 50%. He’ll still have guys on the outside.

Probability of losing Mei: 100%

So…I need to get out of San Francisco. Unless…

Scenario #4: Forget it all and never see Mei again.

Probability I’ll be wrecked/debilitated/paralyzed/good as dead: 1,713%

Somebody’s getting hurt, no matter which scenario. Me? Dad? Mei? Maybe three for three, depending on my decision.

I draw a mental pie chart. Mei’s a decisive 0%. I’m a solid 0%. Which leaves Dad all 100% of the hurt. Wouldn’t have done it a few hours ago, but I’m willing now. I want Mei. He can have Kenna.

The only way I’ll end up with Mei is to leave San Francisco with her.

Decision: Avoid Dad. Leave SF. Pray I get into Stanford.

But even if I do, I can’t go until July. If I don’t…we’ll figure it out. Together. In Seattle.

Probability this is a stupid plan: 99.999998%.

But after seeing what Nick did to her, I’ll do anything to protect her from him, and help her understand I’ll never leave her or treat her that way. I’ll be so careful with her. Give her nothing but respect. I’ll never give her any reason to compare me to him. She once told me everyone wants to feel safe. She needs safe. I can be that for her.

I clench my jaw and look out over the bay. I’m not going home. I’ll text Dad, tell him I’m staying at Johnny’s for a few days to cool down. Mei and I will go to Seattle until I hear from Stanford. I’ll use Meemaw’s graduation money to get us through until then. $10,000 could help us start a life together.

I close my eyes. This could actually work. Not sure what’llhappen to Mei’s family, but Mei and I will be together. She’ll be safe, no deportation. Right? I don’t know. Don’t know anything about this stuff.

I swear and run my fingers through my hair.What now, God?I yell in my head. What do I do with this? You brought Mei into my life, and it was the best idea you’ve ever had, but then…this. I know I haven’t been the greatest human you ever created. I sometimes sleep in church, and I skipped the youth ministry humanitarian trip last summer. And I’ve been lying to my dad, but come on…a hint would be great about now. Tell me if I should do this. Promise I’ll keep my hands to myself. Won’t touch her if that’s what she needs, because I’ll never be like Nick. I wanna show her I really love her. And as for Dad, he’ll obviously be fine. He can figure out his own mess. I need your help with this one. Just please, whatever you tell me to do, let me have Mei.

I clasp my hands between my knees and stare at them, then growl and stand, running back down the steps. I zigzag through side streets to Chinatown, the flash flood of adrenaline drying up and leaving behind pain. I need to get back to Mei but need someone to tell me if this is right. God’s not answering. For the first time in my life, I wish I had a mom. But I have Guo. Maybe she’s God’s big hint. Okay, but really…run away with Mei? We’re freaking eighteen. Years of college. She wants culinary school. Maybe she wants a fresh start somewhere else. Maybe she’d find someone else. Maybe I would.

No. Nope. No other girls, no college, nothing will make me feel the way one smile from Mei does. She’s mine. I wanna be hers in the forever kinda way. And if that means getting out of San Francisco together…

I swallow as the haze in my head clears. If I do this, Mei will know I want us all the time. Forever. Commit, like Dad said. Maybe if he’d taken his own advice, my mom would’ve stuck around. Maybe they’d still be together. Maybe he didn’t love my mom enough, but after only eight weeks of knowingMei, I love her way more than enough. And I never wanna be where I was five hours ago—without her.

I take off down the hill, letting momentum throw me into my new direction. Leaving all my doubt and fear in my dust. Mei’s name pounds through my head with every step—Mei, Mei, Mei. Me. Us.

I look both ways as I approach a street then sprint across it, not bothering to wait for the light to change and am rounding the corner when a siren blares once like someone’s being pulled over. I glance over my shoulder as I pump up the hill but falter when the siren whoops again. From Dad’s patrol car.

Jerking my focus back to the sidewalk ahead of me, I scan the street, places I could detour, disappear, but his car accelerates behind me and veers to the curb beside me. Dad throws the car door open and jumps out.

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