Page 104 of Even in the Dark

Dr. Morley:So what if it does?

Dylan:I don’t know. I just…

Dr. Morley:I’ve spent a lot of time with a lot of different people over the years. Nothing anyone’s said to me has ever seemed ‘fucked up’. I’ve learned that ‘fucked up’ is usually a question of either perspective, experience or context.

Dylan:No idea what you mean by all that, but fine. I’m just gonna say it.

Dr. Morley:Alright.

Dylan:[silence]

Dr. Morley:[silence]

Dylan:Okay. So… Things have been better. Life and stuff. Like we just talked about—things are okay a lot of the time. And with Scarlett. And Phil and Diane and everything.

Dr. Morley:Mmhm.

Dylan:But… okay.Shit.

Dr. Morley:Just us here, Dylan. No judgment, I promise. Goahead and say whatever’s on your mind.

Dylan:Okay… So, sometimes… I miss stuff. About my life before.

Dr. Morley:[no response]

Dylan:[silence]

Dr. Morley:[silence]

Dylan:So?Fuck… Are you gonna tell me your opinion or not?

Dr. Morley:Sorry. I was just waiting to make sure you were finished.

Dylan:Yeah. I’m finished.

Dylan:Okay. Then here’s my opinion. I think it would be weird if youdidn’tmiss certain aspects of your life before. You lived in California for most of your life. Almost fourteen years. That was your normal. Your life now isn’t normal for you yet, even if it may be better.It’s exhausting living all the time in a world where nothing feels ‘normal’ or familiar. Also, we need to remember you weren’t miserable every second of every day in your life before, right? You had things there—or did things—that made you happy. Discovered hobbies and interests, and routines and places and people—that are all a huge part of what made you the person you are now. You had friends there; I think you said, right?

Dylan:Some guys I hung out with at the skatepark sometimes, yeah.

Dr. Morley:Right. So, to uproot all of those friendships—even if they were just casual—they were still part of what felt familiar to you. And I don’t think that embracing your new life and the people and experiences that come with it means you have to throw away everything from your past life.

Dylan:[no response]

Dr. Morley:What about Eli… Do you miss him sometimes?

Dylan:No follow-up questions, remember?

Dr. Morley:You’re right. That was—I’m sorry.

Dylan:[no response]

Dr. Morley:You’re nodding… Does that mean you’re okay with how I phrased my opinion? Any questions on anything about what I just said?

Dylan:No. I’m good… I thought—because things are going better here. And things in California… with Eli—were so fucked up. The fact that I still miss stuff sometimes from then—I thought there was something wrong with me.

Dr. Morley:Nothing wrong with you at all. I mean, besides your taste in breakfast foods and the smart-ass comments you make about my age.

Dylan:I made one comment about your age. Like, a month ago.

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