Page 8 of Even in the Dark

I glance around wildly. Don’t want Phil to see I was in here. He’ll think I’m—

My eyes land on a small framed photo tucked behind the desk lamp. A toddler with wispy blond hair like mine. And a woman holding him, smiling.

Mom.

I grab the photo just as Phil and Diane appear in the doorway, Chloe right behind them.

“Dylan?” Phil frowns. “Chloe said you were going through my office?”

“No.” I hide the small frame with my palm and slide it into my pocket, trying to look casual. “I was just wandering around.”

Phil’s gaze dips lower. In the direction of my right pocket. “Did you take something?”

My shoulders tense. “No.”

They both take a few steps into the room. They’re right in front of me now. I can smell Diane’s fancy perfume.

“Are you sure? It’s okay if you did… I just want to know.” His voice stays calm. Measured. It puts me on edge, the way he stays calm all the time.

I shake my head, meeting his eyes dead-on. “Swear I was just looking.”

Diane touches my arm, and I jerk it away on instinct. She closes her eyes for a second as she inhales. She opens them again. Leans in a bit. “We know this is an adjustment, honey. If there’s something on your mind, you can talk to us.”

“I’m fine.”

“There won’t be any judgment,” Phil doubles down. “Anything you bring up—anything at all—we won’t get mad, or judge you, or—”

“Said I'm fine.” I still don’t break eye-contact.

Phil nods slowly. Looks kind of disappointed. “Alright.” He tucks his own hands in his pockets. “Look, Dylan… we want you to feel at home here. But we also have rules… as a family. And one of those rules is that you need to ask permission before going into my office.” Then he adds, “Or in anyone’s bedroom. Alright?”

Chloe smirks and my eyes meet hers. I clench my fists. Look back at Phil. “Sure,” I bite through gritted teeth. Poke my tongue against my lip ring, not missing the way Diane follows the movement. She’s never said it out loud, but I can tell she hates the piercing. The long hair. Everything about me, probably.

Phil nods again. The smile is back. “Alright… Good.”

They’re all still watching me. Feels like I’m a rare animal in a fancy zoo. A bigger cage is still a cage.

“We done?” I glance at Diane, then back at Phil.

He gets that disappointed look again. The one that gets triggered at least once every interaction with me. Sucks, but I get it. I’d be disappointed too if I was a guy like him, with a life like his—and I found out I had a kid like me.

“Yes, I guess…” he says. “I suppose we’re done.” He looks like he’s going to say something more, but still thinking over the words. I push past them. Head for the stairs before he has a chance to say whatever it is he’s mulling over. Chloe follows right behind, and no way I’m chancing another interaction with that one right now. She’s her own brand of lethal.

I take the stairs two at a time and lose her before the first landing. Escape to my room. Shut the door. Hands still fists; still pushed deep in my pockets.

I hate that Phil thinks I stole something of his. And yeah, technically I did. Doesn’t stop me from resenting the fact that it was his first assumption when he caught me in his office, though. Or maybe he saw me pocket the photo. Whatever. Who cares? I don’t owe him anything. I’ve played nice since I got here. Followed all his rules. Sat through the long, fancy dinner with the neighbors tonight.

With Scarlett.

Not going to think about her.

Point is, I’ve put up with a lot since I got here. Done stuff with Phil. With Diane, even—clothes shopping and stuff—to make her happy and maybe like me a little more. Only I know she doesn’t. Pretty sure she’s scared of me. Like I’m some creeper or something. Like I’m him.

Eli.

Shit. I hate this. All of it. I just want one thing—one fucking thing—that feels familiar. Or real, at least. That makes me feel like I’m not a ghost floating around the huge-ass rooms in this place.

Maybe I am going crazy, because I don’t even know who the hell I am. I keep getting this panicked feeling. My heart jack-hammering against my ribcage and I’m sweating for no other reason except that one stupid question, looping and looping around my skull like a goddamn cyclone.