Page 10 of Even in the Dark

Phil’s voice drops, so fucking calm. “Give them a chance, Dylan. Most of them will just want to get to know you.”

I shift on the bed, glancing at him. “Sure.”

His eyes crinkle with another smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. He’s trying. So damn hard. I look away.

Phil sighs, like he’s bracing himself, before continuing. “It’s likely there will be some kids who might be…” He pauses. “Wary. Of you.”

I clench my jaw.Here we go.

“Not because of anything you’ve done,” he adds quickly. Too quickly. “Just because they’ll have seen the news or read things online. They’ll have made up their minds about you already.”

Made up their minds that I’m a freak. A monster. Likehim.

I dig my thumbnail into the skin beside my nail on my index finger, focus on the sting instead of the anger simmering in my gut.

“Try not to let it get to you,” Phil goes on. “Ignore any comments. The best thing to do is tell a teacher if someone bothers you. Or tell Diane or me after school and we’ll help you figure it out. Just—don’t react. Physically, I mean.” He sounds so sure of himself. “Reacting will only give them what they want.”

My nostrils flare as I suck in a sharp breath. He just crossed a hard line. ’Cos if some punk gets in my face, I’m not walking away. Not gonna let this new life turn me intothatkind of guy.

But I bite my tongue. Phil’s eyes are practically pleading with me.

I give a stiff nod and mutter, “Yeah. Okay.”

He seems to relax. Sort of. And I feel a little bad for lying. But only a little, ’cos this guy is off his rocker if he thinks I’m gonna just fold up my balls, tuck ’em in my purse, and hand them over to some rich douchebag who thinks he’s tough just because he made it on some private school football team.

If someone pushes me, I push back harder. It’s what Eli drilled into me from as far back as I can remember. Not sure how I feel about the fact that my real dad is apparently a total push-over. And the kind of guy who expects his son to walk away when some asshole gets up in his space.

Phil studies me for a moment, like he’s trying to see inside my head. I meet his eyes. Don’t say anything, but also don’t look away.

“Dylan…” He sighs. “I know this is an adjustment. But please…Pleasepromise me you will try to be the bigger man. That you will trust me when I tell you that Eli’s values—they’re not right. They’re not who you are. Or who we are as a family.” He leans in, his eyes intense and pleading. “And you are a part of this family. You’re a Braun. And Brauns are not violent. We use our heads. And our words.”

My jaw ticks. I flick my tongue along my lip ring again.

The bigger man is not the one who walks away.

I keep my eyes locked on his. Pretty sure my silence tips him off to what I’m thinking. “Violence…it’s never the answer,” he says gently. “I know that man taught you differently. But that kind of reaction just causes more pain. For everyone involved.”

Eli’s lessons only led to blood and bruises and brutal deaths. True. But still…

Fucking still…those instincts—they’re seared into me. Branded into me like a hot poker into my bare flesh. My freakin’ core.

I am not a monster. Or anything like Eli. But I also don’t walk away from a fight.

Phil puts a hand on my shoulder. I tense, resisting the urge to shrug him off.

“It won’t happen overnight. But you’ll get there. You’re not alone. I’ll help you. And Diane, too. And so will all the people here that you’re going to get to know who want to see you succeed and be the best version of yourself.” His voice is thick with an emotion I can’t name. It makes me want to do him proud, though. Be this guy he wants me to be.

No.

I harden myself again. Phil doesn’t know me. Hasn’t earned anything from me. Wasn’t there when I needed him. Sure as hell wasn’t there when Eli first raised his fist to me. Or the thousands of times after that. Phil doesn’t know what consequences I faced when I so much as flinched away from that psycho. Let alone if I ever had the gall to walk away… like he thinks is such a brilliant, manly reaction. So he doesn’t get to ask anything of me. Or assume anything. Or pretend to understand the anger that simmers inside every single one of my veins, pumping into my heart and fueling my entire goddamn body. He knows nothing about the rage I learned to channel into my fists.

Only… wait.

Fucking hold up.I’mthe one who was taken for a fool here—fell right into step with Eli Sampson’s twisted scheme to make a joke out of me. And if my kid did to me what I did to Phil, I’d probably kick him to the curb. The humiliation of finding out your grown-ass kid is a sucker—a head-case who didn’t even see any of the signs that he was being played his entire life—that would be worse than finding out he’s dead.

I stand abruptly. “Think I’m gonna get some air. Sit in the backyard for a bit before hitting the sack.”

Phil rises slowly, nodding. “You want company?”

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