Page 37 of The Soldier and the Cowboy

“It won’t bother you to be in the kitchen doing women’s work while the men are out here?” she asked.

“Honey, I’ve worked calves before. Believe me when I tell you the kitchen is a far, far better place to be.”

An hour later, he was ready to change his mind. “Has anyone ever told you you’re a slave driver?”

“Mostly my little sisters,” Bailey replied unconcernedly. They had arranged tables outside, making one giant line, along with chairs and hay bales enough for everybody to have a seat. Taking Cal’s directive to “make herself at home” seriously, she snooped until she located tablecloths and place settings enough for everyone. Then she sent Sully up a ladder to hang string lights she found. There was only one oak tree beside the house, but it was massive enough to provide all the shade they’d need. Lastly, she found some clean Mason jars and cut flowers for bouquets.

The men limped over, dirty, exhausted, famished. But when they saw the long table decorated and loaded with food, they perked up. Soon it became a party atmosphere with laughing and talking and eating, lots and lots of eating.

When the food was finished, Jinx’s sons, Corrie and Jonah, brought out their guitars and began to play softly. The sun sank low, and the oppressive heat began to wane. Cal slid his arm behind Bailey’s chair and leaned close to talk to her.

“Are you happy?” he whispered.

“Exponentially so. You?”

“For the first time in a long, long time, yes I am. Thank you for supper tonight.”

“It was the least I could do while you all are working so hard.”

“It really wasn’t,” he said, his eyes sliding to the middle distance, probably to his past and memories.

“What did Isabel do during calving season?” she asked.

“In the early days, when we still actually liked each other, she used to come out and watch, talk, socialize. The last few years we were together she went away, had a girls weekend or went presumably by herself. In retrospect I’m not certain she was actually alone during those times.”

“I’m sorry, Cal. Really, really sorry for the way things turned out, for the pain your uncoupling has caused you. It’s unfair, and it stinks, and every bad thing.”

“The upside is I think the shock and denial of it all are starting to wear off. The downside is that the grief and pain are setting in.” He sighed and his fingers skimmed lightly along her back. “Sweet girl, I think this old dog is kind of a mess.”

“You don’t get to corner the market on mess, sir. We’re each a mess, in our own special way.”

“What’s your mess, Bailey? Because from where I sit, I only see the good.”

“I’m a workaholic control freak daredevil perfectionist who is too often out of touch with my emotions.”

“But what’s your mess? Because all that sounds pretty good to me,” he said.

She reached out and smoothed the flyaway hair at his temple. His hair was a bit of a mess, twisted and bent from a long, sweaty day beneath his Stetson. He leaned into her touch, smiling. “I bought a ticket for home.”

He froze. “When?”

“Friday, six days.”

He swallowed hard. “Why?”

“Because we can’t keep fooling ourselves with this, pretending we can go on like this with no consequences. Either you’re going to break and hate yourself or you’re not going to break and I’ll eventually resent you. We’re friends, we’re pals, in the kindest and purest sense of the words. I want to keep it like that, to go out on a good note while we’re both heart whole with no regrets.”

“He clasped her hand and held it between both of his. “I want to…I want, Bailey. I want so much.”

“I know you do, but not enough to do something about it,” she said.

He gave her hand a squeeze and let it go. “I understand. If this is what you feel is best, then I’ll support you.”

She smiled and nodded, but inwardly she was disappointed. She hadn’t meant the ticket as an ultimatum but there was a secret little part of her that hoped he would take it so.

“What time is your flight on Friday? I’ll make sure I’m available to drive you to the airport.”

“Sully has business in San Antonio that day. He’s offered to take me,” she said. She couldn’t do the airport goodbye with Cal; she just couldn’t. It would be hard enough to do it here, away from prying eyes.

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