Page 6 of The Stars of the Pack

Be it by the stars above or the land below, he was always protected.

As if his thoughts had summoned it, his eyes focused on a body of trees not too far in front of them—a few semi-mature birches surrounding a huge oak, clearly the founder of the little wood. No pines, which Ray knew they had around the place in plentiful supply too.

He stopped a few feet away, far enough he could look at them all, inclining his head in greeting, which a little part of his brain was mocking him about even as he did it. Josh stayed by his side, hand in hand, and Ray used the strength of his silent faith to ignore his own doubts. Allowing his eyes to fall closed with a sigh, he opened his mouth. “I’m listening,” he said, making it so.

The song was changing somewhat, slowly, nothing he could understand quite yet. But he was willing to stand in the crisp December air and give it time to coalesce into something his human brain could process. Or not.

His breathing fell into a rhythm, slowing down like he was falling asleep right there where he stood. To his surprise, Josh tensed up next to him, hand tightening on Ray’s and just like that they were stepping forward as one—the kind of synchronicity they’d only achieved when their bodies were a lot more closely entwined. It was easy to reach out with their free hands for the bark of the oak, then letting themselves come still, until their joined fingers rested on its rough surface too. It was warmer than he’d have expected. Alive. Why was it so difficult to remember that just because they didn’t move?

It was impossible to deny now, with the voice in his head, not forming words but transmitting clearly all the same—as much sensation as sound. The wolf would have got it at once, Ray thought; he could only wait for his own thoughts to quieten down.

Josh exhaled softly next to him, relief rolling over Ray through their bond. He couldn’t have said whether it was the final clue he needed, but it released something deep within him. It wasn’t cold anymore, or he couldn’t feel it because he was surrounded by a powerful presence warding off the chilly air. Both of them were, Josh’s hand in his reminding him of the world he knew, just enough to prove this was happening too.

The word came to him at last.

Safe.

He shuddered, leaning heavily on the tree until his forehead rested against the bark too. It wasn’t a demand, like he’d expected, it was anassurance. The song hadn’t truly changed that much, it was still insisting on the same thing; you belong, we will keep you safe, you are ours, you are loved.

And although he was blessed with people in his life who’d made the same promises, sometimes even said the words, a sob broke through his lips and just like that he was weeping. Because somehow he hadn’tknown, or at least he hadn’tbelievedit, not until that very moment, when Nature itself had summoned him to its throne, demanding his attention. It felt silly to have ever doubted it, he who could shift with the moon, he who could find his people by reaching not with his mind, he now saw clearly, but with hissoul.

“Fuck, Ray.” Josh’s voice was rough, and Ray’s hand tightened on his, immediately wanting to offer comfort. Except Josh waslaughing. Ray twisted his neck to the side to watch him break into another peal of laughter, throat exposed and sound travelling up—like he was howling at the moon. He straightened, tugging Ray away from the tree for a disorientating moment before he pushed him back into it, his back instead of his front, and trapping his hand with his own against the rough bark. “You are fucking amazing, you know that?” Josh asked, grinning like a madman.

Ray blinked at him, the tree’s presence was still there—in fact, not just this one tree but all of them, as if perking up now they had his...theirattention. Josh wasn’t just happy; he was lit up from inside.

It’s not me,Ray nearly said. But it didn’t feel right, itwashim. Him and Josh and the trees and the snow and the wind and everyone back in the house and everything that lived in the fuckingplanet. Possibly the universe. At least as far as the moon.

“NowI feel it,” he told Ray, sharp teeth gleaming in the moonlight, eyes wildly alive. And Ray let go, let his shoulders sag against the oak, which wouldn’t let him fall and let it all come back rushing in freely. This time, it wasn’t relief, but joy. He’d known it from Josh’s face, of course, and he felt a little bad about doubting... But the guilt was swept aside by the energy thrumming through him, as if a wave had come and had brushed it all off, leaving just the crystal clarity of his own core light.

In the absence of fear, it was love that came, not the desperate clinging thing that sometimes woke him in a terror and sent him to check on his sleeping kids. But true love, which was also peace, easy and all-encompassing, undeniable and full of understanding for all the little weaknesses of the human mind. Love for everything and everyone, so pure it brought tears back to his eyes, but seeing the wonder of it reflected on his alpha’s face, it was impossible not to put his free hand to Josh’s neck and draw him closer for a kiss, soft and deep, letting it pour out of him that way. Only there was no end to the feeling, and Josh was giving it right back, the inexhaustible supply settling into every bone and muscle, every cell and atom, until they were as much one with each other as with the universe at large.

He could have got lost in it, mind wandering as his soul brushed against every thread connecting him to land and sky. But Josh’s mouth was sweet and warm and real andthere, his hands around Ray’s back anchoring him to the world of the flesh even as they flew high above it all—like getting to have everything at the same time. He didn’t need to choose or worry. He didn’thave todo anything, but oh he wanted to find himself in the tender touch of Josh’s hands, careful as they opened his coat and cupped his belly—the babies fluttered, happy to be noticed, but otherwise as lulled by the thrumming song running through their veins as their parents—and pulled it down his shoulders. Ray let it fall, lethimselffall as Josh threw down his own longer coat, creating a small surface for Ray to lay down, following so fast their lips never really separated.

The snow beneath him was compressing under his weight and then Josh’s, who was straddling him and bending over, allowing for the mound of his swollen middle without pausing. But he could feeleverythingright then, on the periphery of this attention the stars seemed to twinkle and currents of joy and love caressed his mind from all angles. The snow had to be cold, but it was also full oflife, its potential powerful enough to make Ray laugh against Josh’s lips when his attention was caught by it. It wasgorgeous,like glittering diamonds of unleashed life.

His shirt and jumper were pulled up over his belly, as far as they’d go when Josh was clearly not ready to let him sit up to remove them. His own hands were up the back of Josh’s own clothes, luxuriating in the soft expanse of skin over powerful muscles, trying to drag his alpha down to cover his body. “Shhh...” Josh whispered soothingly into his ear. “I got you, Ray. Let me...”

And Ray did, easily, no resistance left from the times when he’d not really chosen it. He was choosing it; it was in his power to surrender. Without fear, only love was left—his and Josh’s, which naturally were one and the same.

Josh gasped above him. “Ray!”

Ray opened his eyes to see his stricken expression—not hurt but shocked, like he couldn’t believe it. He hadn’t expected this, and Ray couldn’t blame him, he’d let his fear stop him for too long. But Josh had wanted it all along, he could see that much writ clearly on his beloved’s face. Josh shook himself out of his stupor and reached for Ray’s trousers, undoing the button. Ray sighed and let his head fall back on his coat, letting the awe Josh felt wash over him as his bottom half was bared, shoes tugged off gently, Josh keeping all the desperation building between them at bay easily by willpower alone. The gesture, strong and tender both, made Ray shiver.

Strangely, exposing his erection seemed to ease the urgency somewhat. He blinked up at Josh, a little confused, and saw his hazel eyes were wide and fascinated, like he was watching a work of art instead of Ray’s rumpled form, his prominent belly, his shirt still on. He tugged at Ray’s sleeve almost timidly, a request.

Ray granted it easily, taking hold of his arm to sit up and letting his lover take everything else that covered him away. Josh was still fully dressed, but it didn’t bother Ray. He didn’t need to equalise the ground between them that way, or any other. They were each who they were and the love he felt coming clear and bright through the bond, the adoration he saw on Josh’s face... It was returned in full in his own heart.

That was the only type of balance they needed.

He nodded, even though no question had been asked, and Josh laughed, a little incredulous. Disbelief would have seemed absurd at any other point, with Ray carrying his children in his belly. But right then and there he understood this was new for them both, that it was a gift he hadn’t been able to give before, to either of them.

Feeling the wetness between his legs when Josh gently bent his left knee and kissed it was not truly a surprise, but it made him groan at the sensation, nonetheless. Josh’s eyes fluttered closed, his eyelashes their own kiss against Ray’s thigh. “Goddess,” he said, breath warming up the delicate skin. “Thank you.”

Ray wasn’t sure who the gratitude was for, perhaps it didn’t matter—it was an expression of joy, not an acknowledgement of a debt like he’d so often assumed. Josh spread him slowly, the scents of their respective arousals rising up between them like a promise of wonderful things to come.

Ray let it happen, not trying to rush him despite the persistent throb of his cock, his hole clenching involuntarily in silent desperation. Josh was making sounds, whimpers or whispers, it was difficult to say for sure when his own heart was beating so fast it felt like a rush in his ears. And then his mouth reached its target and his tongue was tasting Ray’s hole and Ray’s hips felt like they’d dislocated, legs relaxing even further, knees falling further to the sides. As if reacting to the enthusiastic welcome, Josh pushed his tongue inside, sucking as he retracted it. Normally, Ray would have been fucking his face by now, today he laid back and gasped for air, body loose and easy. He could have moved, but he didn’t need to. He didn’t need to do anything at all except receive this pleasure, Josh rolling his balls between his fingers even as he deep dived into his entrance like Ray’s slick was all he ever wanted to drink for the rest of his existence.

It was like his whole body was opening up, his shoulders falling back, his mouth open, his eyes closed as he relaxed into it, giving up any semblance of control. Josh kept going, licking and kissing and massaging. His other hand landed on Ray’s cock in a loose enough grip to make him shudder without taking him any closer to finishing.

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