Page 67 of The Price of Ice

Chapter 26

They’d had fajitas for dinner after all, cooking together like they could go back in time. Even though there had never been a time when things had been truly okay, they’d just pretended to carve a few hours of peace and joy for themselves.

Kallen wasn’t sorry to have had them, but now he couldn’t quite buy into the playacting. He still liked Levy, but now that the spell had broken, there was a heaviness between them that he couldn’t ignore any more.

It’d always been there, really. The awareness of what Levy would do to him during heat at first, and later the knowledge of the state Levy had seen him in. He’d come to trust Levy to take care of him, but he’d never trustedhimselfbecause he’d known he’d put himself into a position of tremendous vulnerability with people who did nothing to honour that trust.

All the same, it was nice to sit together and hear Levy tell him about Cleopatra, who he claimed hadn’t been one of those rare ancient women who were alphas but an omega in full use of her lure abilities.

“It took the Romans a while to stop sending her alphas for her to conquer,” Levy said with a satisfied smile.

“Do you think she was especially powerful?” Kallen asked. “Like, some alphas are... They are stronger, right?”

Levy’s eyes were lost somewhere around the ceiling, as he thoughtfully chewing on a bit of lettuce. He looked like a renaissance painting, all dark golden curls and high cheekbones—if high-born men had been the type to play with their foodwhile having their portrait painted. “Not sure, like, I guess so?” He looked at Kallen. “But it’s hard to tell because most alphas are so terrified of being weak that they overcompensate.”

That didn’t make sense to him, especially not after feeling it from the inside. “But it’swill. Like, it’s the same thing that means some people get up early in the morning to train and some people go back to sleep, right?”

“Okay...” Levy was nodding. “Let’s go with that. So, then it’s not powerful like brute force, but more like focus, right?”

“I think it’s both,” Kallen said. “Because you have a certain amount of... energy, I guess. And then you can apply it all at once, or use it for lots of little tasks?”

Levy was already nodding by the time he looked at him, grinning with open excitement. “And if you use it all in the same place you can yank someone close or push them away!”

“Yank?” Kallen shifted in his chair, getting one of his legs bent under himself and smiling a little at the sheer luxury of it. “Is that how it felt to you when I...?”

“Oh, no! I just meant... in an extreme case. Youcould. When you did it...” He dropped his gaze, but his lips were curving upward, softening his whole face. “When you did, it was like you were shining, as if all the light went to you. And I just... I just wanted to touch the light. You, really, because it was like it came from inside you.”

Fuck.Kallen stared at him for a long moment before he remembered to close his mouth and swallow. “Did you actuallyseethe light?”

Levy paused, then shook his head, eyes flickering to meet his own. “No, it was a feeling.”

“So, Imadeyou feel that?”

“No, you made mefocuson how I felt, and... well, once I focused on it and you were looking at me like that, I guess there was nothing to stop me, you know? I mean, I’d been stoppingmyself because I didn’t want—” His teeth clicked as he closed his mouth on the words.

“What?” Kallen demanded.

“I didn’t want to make you feel like an omega,” Levy admitted in a rush, mostly speaking at his plate. “No, like ateam omega,” he corrected. “Like I thought I had a right or...” He shrugged. “I didn’t stop when you were in heat, and I knew it was a bullshit excuse, so I stopped when we became friends. It was the least I could do.”

Kallen didn’t speak. It made sense, he couldn’t argue with that. “You do make me feel like an omega,” he explained, and saw his friend stiffen. “But ina goodway. You make me feel safe.”

“Kallen...” Levy was biting his bottom lip, face twisted like he was hurting.

And it did hurt Kallen too, to tell him these things now when they couldn’t do anything about it. But in a way it was also a relief. “It’s fine, I know that—I know. But I’m grateful for it, you know? I just— I want you to know that you did good, even if you fucked up. You made up for it.”

Levy shook his head. “That’s... That is too much. I don’t think I can make up for it. But I’m glad I helped a bit, that I made you feel safe.”

Kallen knew he could have kept pushing and insisting, but at the same time, he was all too aware of how disappointed he was with hisownbehaviour. Anyone would have pointed out that he’d been stuck in a fucked-up system doing the best he could, and rationally he knew that was true. But it didn’t feel that way, and he didn’t know if it ever would.

“You did,” he confirmed instead of trying to tell Levy to feel better about himself than he could manage right then.

“There’s something.” Levy squirmed on his seat, tilting his face away. “You know how I have been reading your contract?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I think it might be best if you keep the wheelchair.” He paused, studying Kallen’s face. “Like go home with it, you know?”

Kallen had completely forgotten about it. When he’d got to the kitchen to help with dinner, it’d been gone. Levy must have put it somewhere else while he was in the toilet. “Because...”