Page 84 of The Price of Ice

Enough that he could see it rushing back for him and also the chance to evade it. He went downstairs and made himself an omelette, eating it quickly at the kitchen counter with a cup of strong builder’s tea. Then he got himself down to the basement. Strength training was a very small part of his exercise routine, and he had nothing to trainfor, but waking up at six in the morning felt good anyway. Maybe it was just habit, maybe it was the knowledge of the endorphins coming his way. But it was work he could do well on his own and he was going to do it.

It didn’t matter that his goals for the day mostly involved helping his mum cook, meticulously folding laundry and... Emailing Mr Evans the police report. He would do that when he got back up, after a shower, or maybe he’d go for a run. He needed to build up his stamina.

He was carefully ignoring the fact that he didn’t know whatfor. He wasn’t going to get another job in a professional team, and he was way too young for coaching, even if he’d thought he’d be any good at it.

For the first time since he’d gone away to school, he was in complete control of his own body.

He didn’t quite know what to do with it except what he’d been told, though.

IT WAS NOT IDEAL, BUTafter a few days, he managed to pull himself together enough to do some maths and go to the doctor to ask for a pill to suppress his upcoming heat. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it, messing with his hormones was dangerous, especially in the long-term. It was strictly forbidden as part of his contract, he knew that much, even if he doubted it’d been primarily motivated by an interest in his well-being.

When he’d explained he’d got hurt on his last heat, his family doctor had prescribed it at once. He’d also wanted to examine him, but Kallen had put him off, explaining there had been no visible marks.

“I see. We better sort out the invisible ones then,” the man told him in a tone that brooked no argument, shoving a binder across his desk. It turned out to have doctors listed by specialty.

Doctor Kakar had left it open to the P.

He was a beta, but he’d known Kallen since he’d been an eleven-year-old desperate to grow faster. It wasn’t like hecouldtell his parents what they discussed now, but still.

He’dwantedhormones back then, he remembered. A few months on testosterone would have done the work of a year’s constant training on his developing muscles.

He hadn’t told anyone, knowing his dad would have been beyond disappointed at his lack of work ethic. But it’d been sounfair that he had to work so much harder than any of his alpha teammates, who seemed to bulk out in the space of weeks while Kallen trained his arse off on a diet so strict he wouldn’t allow himself cake on his own birthday.

It turned out therapists disclosed their gender and phenotype as a matter of course. But other than that, he had no idea how to pick one.

“Do you want my advice?” the doctor asked.

Kallen glanced up. “Sure.”

“Pick one. Any of them.” He must have sensed Kallen was about to object that wasn’t exactly helpful because he added, “Just put your finger down somewhere on the page.”

So he had, right on top of an omega woman’s name, it turned out. He swallowed, suddenly angry. And scared.

And not knowing why. He’d already told people, this was no different.

“Kallen?” Kakar said, gentler than usual. “Shall I make the referral?”

He’d nodded, massaging at the stiffness on the side of his neck.

At the pharmacy, he’d given back the other five pills in the blister pack despite their assurances that it was perfectly safe to suppress heats for up to six months.

Maybe it was and maybe it wasn’t, but Kallen could see too clearly that if he allowed himself to get used to it, he wouldn’t stop. Once would be enough, just a little more time to remember his legs worked again and that he was safe. He’d fantasised about flying Levy to Terali for the day, which was probably messed up on a number of levels, and quickly discarded it. His friend might have even agreed, given that he was relatively free for the rest of winter. But it would have been a dick move, for both of them.

So he had swallowed the tiny pink pill to tell his body to give him a break, just a little grace this once so he could figure out what the hell he was doing.

Chapter 31

Good news had become so rare for him that he didn’t know what to say.

Mr Evans raised an eyebrow. “This is good. I know it sounds like we are not officially pushing your complaint, but the fact that the police are willing to use this stalker case as an excuse to get the footage is huge. It means they believe you and it means they want to catch them, and if your team—”

“Not my team,” Kallen said.

“Of course. If the White Cats haven’t thought to remove the evidence of what their captain did to you in the locker room...”

Kallen glanced away. It was difficult to think of anyone seeing him there, being used like a fucking rag doll and just taking it. “You think they wouldn’t have?”

“If it’s only got as far up as their media rep, we might get lucky.”

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