Page 88 of The Price of Ice

Kallen swallowed. It wasn’t that he didn’twant to, of course he did. Just like he’d wanted to kiss Levy that first time and to fucking stay in Jiro to be close to him. He just didn’t see how it could be anything but painful in the long-term. “I could call you,” he said in the end, and shocked himself when it came sounding like a promise. Itwasn’t,the verb tense made that very clear.

“Sure,” Levy said back, sounding pleased. As if he’d also heard it that way.

Dammit.

ANALISA HAD GOT THEMsome tea and biscuits and they’d stayed for the second half of the meeting, but Kallen had still gone home feeling like someone had taken a bat to his head.

He must have looked it too because Analisa had offered to drive. He’d refused, needing something to focus on that wasn’t whatever was wrong with him.

It hadn’t become clear until a couple of days later, when he’d stepped out of the shower and suddenly realised that Taylor hadn’t told them what had pushed him past edge and made him quit. Not that he owed them the answer, but something in Kallen had got stuck waiting for that other shoe to drop.

Maybe because he’d spent the last eleven months of his own life waiting for the same thing. Knowing just like Taylor had known, that he was on edge of a precipice and that he was goingto fall... Just not how hard, or whether he’ll be able to get up again afterwards.

He either wanted to go back to another meeting in hopes of finding out, or drink until he forgot the whole thing altogether.

After going through what he had with his own team, another omega’s story—sanitised as it’d been—shouldn’t have been so upsetting. But maybe from the inside it’d been much easier to insist that hecouldtake the pain. From the outside all he wanted was to yank Taylor from the nightmare his life had obviously become.

And he’d been sleeping with alphas heknew. No one he was related by blood too, naturally, since that much teams would care about, but did that change much if he’d grown up with the guys? Called them uncles like Benny did Dr. Maslow?

Kallen shuddered and hurried to get dressed into his warmest clothes.

That night, his parents noticed he was out of it, but they stopped pushing when he told them he wasn’t ready to talk. Kallen could hardly blame them for worrying, given what he’d already told them.

He just needed a little time to recover. He’d been half worried they’d want him to stop attending meetings if he explained what had upset him, but maybe that was him too. His mother had looked at the link he’d sent her and sought him out to ask more questions. Not that he had many answers, but he must have said something right because she’d asked if he wanted her to accompany him to the next one.

It was hard enough to listen to that sort of thing with a friend next to him, he couldn’t imagine hearing anyone talk about their abuse with his mum next to him. She shouldn’t have to put up with it, she hadn’t been dumb enough to sign a contract that allowed people to treat her like—

“I understand,” she said again when he turned her down. “But I’m here if you want to talk. We both are.”

His dad didn’t bring it up, but as far as Kallen was concerned, that was for the best. It helped to be normal with him in the mornings, lifting weights, getting tips, not thinking about everything that was different outside that room.

He needed that, the pretence that he was working for something. That the ice was there for him to return to.

MASLOW CALLED HIM TWOdays later. Maybe Kallen had tempted the universe somehow, thinking he wanted to bedoingsomething. Maybe it was just the same shit as always.

“I was hoping to stop by this afternoon,” the doctor told him, which a generous person could have interpreted as him asking for permission. Kallen’s mum must have made an impression.

“I’m in Terali,” he said, as neutrally as he could manage through his smile.

The pleasure of disappointing Maslow didn’t last. “Ah, I see. Of course, it is your break, after all. I suppose I simply expected you to stay around to keep up with your physical therapy.”

“I’m doing it,” Kallen said, voice thick in his throat. “I’m doing okay.”

“Mmm...” The doctor made a doubtful sound. “Well, nonetheless, we want you to be checked out by a medical professional. Let’s see... You are on Avintey Road 6090, correct? I’ll find someone close by for you.”

And Kallen hadn’t been able to say a word. Of course they had his parents’ address, it was the one he’d have given them. But it felt weird to hear it then. Terali was a decently sized city, but it wasn’t like it mattered if the doctor was close to him for a single appointment, was it?

He might have told Maslow he could walk again, except his throat was closed up and he was way too cold. So he didn’t, and half an hour later, he had a text with the appointment details for a doctor half an hour drive away.

It was two days later.

ONCE MASLOW WASN’Tbreathing down his neck, he managed to wake up enough to go talk to his dad, who told him to call his lawyer immediately.

But Mr Evans hadn’t given him the out he’d hoped for, instead he’d pointed out right now the best strategy was to keep the team thinking Kallen was going to go back to them when the season began. “The last thing we want is for them to get suspicious now, you know?”

And it made perfect sense, which didn’t explain why Kallen had parked his mum’s car outside the doctor's office and couldn’t get out of the car. He’d arrived early since he hadn’t been able to bear the wait and now was very much at risk of being late.

In the end, he’d pushed himself through it the same way he’d pushed himself to wake up every morning, to do ten more reps, to play with a damaged knee.Just a check up, he told the whiny part of him who wanted to turn the car around and go hide under the covers.

---