Page 95 of The Price of Ice

And other times it hadn’t, but itcouldhave. It was painful to think of this power he apparently had now, because it meant he also had to think about hehadn’tused it when he’d been truly in danger. Maybe McKinley wouldn’t have been affected, or would have got even angrier, but to know that he hadn’t eventriedweighed on him. Before he’d seen himself as a victim of circumstance, but more and more he was being forced to acknowledge he’d chosen to put himself in a fucked-up situation by accepting the job. And now it seemed like he could have done something about McKinley’s attacks too.

But he wasn’t going to let regret make him lose track of the fact that he could keep himself safe now. At the very least, he needed to improve his control to the best of his ability. Both for his own sake and for others’. Kami had seemed fine afterwards, and Kallen hadn’t felt like he could demand to know more details from the kid, but he still wondered...

“It’s a pretty useful skill,” Taylor told him. “How long have you been working on it?”

“Um, not that long. I have done it like, five times?” That was counting the time with the receptionist, which he wasn’t sure counted. But rounding it up did not harm. Of course he respected innate talent, he’d been born with his own share or he couldn’t have made it as far as he had professionally. But what was supposed to really count was grit and hard work. “That’s why I can’t control it,” he added.

When he risked a glance, Taylor’s eyes were wide. “Okay, didn’t see that one coming,” he admitted with a shake of his head. “So you are a unicorn.”

“What?” Kallen asked.

“You are an exception, not the rule,” Taylor rephrased. “I remember you said you could do it from the first time you tried it, which is most definitely not the case for any omegas I know of. And apparently you have reached this point without much practice either.”

He swallowed; eyes stuck on a tiny stuffed penguin on the corner of the desk. “I guess.”

“It didn’t feel bad, you know,” Taylor offered and Kallen looked up, searching his face for the lie. “It was... warm, I’d say. Like a hug. No, like a hug you’dreallybeen looking forward from a friend you haven’t seen in ages but who you love very much.”

“Oh.” He was surprised Taylor had picked up on the idea of the hug, Levy certainly had had no idea about the image of the oasis.

Still, it didn’t sound anything like alpha will, which was either a painful yank or a sustained pressure you couldn’t stop from moving you. Was that its very nature or just how alphas used it? Once when he’d twisted his ankle as a child, his father had ordered him not to be in pain and it’d worked, but only by making him completely numb. It’d taken days for the effect of the order to fade. Back then, not being in pain had seemedlike a blessing, except for how of course pain had a purpose and forcing the body to do anything was never good.

“Do you I think I could... Like, alpha will doesn’t feel good. To me.” He was mostly speaking to his own knuckles on his lap by now.

“It can,” Taylor said, sounding awed, of all things. “It can make you feel brave, like someone cheering you from the stands, or yeah, it can quash you like a bug until you obey.”

Kallen glanced up at him. “Why would you needwillto make someone feel good?”

The other omega shrugged. “Well, you don’t, but it helps. It’s a bit like a boost to the emotion. Say I tell you I’m proud of you, that’s pretty good. But an alpha who knows what they are doing can make youfeelthat pride.”

It all seemed like a nice fantasy to Kallen, but supposing he believed it, that wasn’t such good news. “So, lure could feel bad, too. I could use it to make someone...” He waved a hand around, not wanting to specify. It wasn’t like it mattered,makingsomeone do anything was fucked up.

“You could,” Taylor agreed, reaching over and putting a glass before Kallen, then pouring from a clear carafe of water. It was a beautiful object, almost out of place in the mundanity of this office. “And I’m sure there have been omegas who have snapped and gone for it, but most omegas don’t even know how to use lure at all. And can you imagine if someone had been caught?Thatwould have been all over the news.”

Unlike when an alpha used their will to force their partner or even a stranger into something they didn’t truly want. Like a pregnancy or a bond.

Because that was normal. Criminal if it could be proven, but nothing out of the ordinary.

“There was Cleopatra, apparently,” Kallen offered, because getting men to choose her over the country they had pledgedtheir loyalty to seemed like it would count as a serious misuse of power.

Taylor hadn’t known and they’d talked a bit longer about what parameters one could use to keep lure use ethical.

It wasn’t a guarantee of anything, but it helped a little.

MASLOW CALLING HADbeen inevitable, but this time, Kallen was prepared. He had actually printed out his test results for the occasion. “Oh, hello,” he said and then before Maslow could start on him added, “Please hold the line, I need to go get my results.”

He’d shoved them in a folder, intent on starting to keep records. He couldn’t have said what they meant, but the numbers were still data points he could use to ask another doctor later. And besides, getting to take a moment to breathe himself into the oasis was essential.

“I was surprised to learn of your miraculous recovery,” Maslow sounded pissy, and Kallen thought,good.

Kallen wasn’t angry, he was something much better; he wassure. “You were right,” he said. “It was all in my head, I guess when I got home, I just felt safe again.”

It wasn’t quite an open dig, and the doctor made a sound low in his throat and volleyed back. “I see. I suppose we better talk about your results, since you are so interested.”

But if he thought he was going to get Kallen angry with that, he was very much mistaken. Hehadbeen angry for a long time, and he’d told himself he was just imagining every reason the team gave him to doubt them. Now there was no doubt; they were his enemies. In a lot of ways, it made it easier to lightly say, “That would be great.”

If it was all just a game, he didn’t need to mean it or feel guilty for the disgust Maslow inspired in him, trying to bully him into not asking questions about his own body.

“So, your oestradiol levels are a little low, I’d like you to take some supplements for a couple of months.”

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