Page 43 of The Price of Ice

Chapter 16

Vandy had asked for time off, so Benny was the only goalie at practice that afternoon. It didn’t matter that much, since there were plenty of drills that didn’t involve one, but it meant the young alpha flopped onto the bench like a sack of potatoes when he was finally given a break.

Kallen took him a bottle of water and ended up talking to him for a bit before he headed back onto the ice.

“What’s wrong with him?” Levy asked when he got close enough.

Kallen blinked at him. “Nothing.”

“So why does he need you to bring him water?” his friend demanded.

And it was definitely a demand, to the point he was grateful Coach was clapping for attention, and he didn’t get a chance to reply.

It’d have probably been forgotten by the time they went home. Except Benny approached Kallen in the changing rooms to ask him to hang out.

For a moment, he froze. It wasn’t actuallythatsurprising given that he’d sought Benny out a couple days earlier. How was the other man supposed to know he’d just wanted to get away from the Johnsons?

“Um, can’t today,” he said, neck straining with the effort not to glance in Levy’s direction.

There was no reason he couldn’t hang out with Benny if he wanted to, really. He didn’t particularly want to, but it wouldhave been a dick move to make an overture like he had when he needed an escape and then not make any kind of effort in turn. Besides, Benny had been nice to him when he’d been on his heat rota, and that was something, wasn’t it? For all that he was supposed to be the soul of his team, Kallen didn’t have any friends in it other than Levy.

Levy and he headed to the car together, but Levy was unusually quiet. When they got in, Kallen settled behind the wheel—they’d agreed he could drive them this week to give Levy’s wrist all the rest it could get off-ice.

But before he could turn on the engine, his friend spoke. “I’m sorry.”

Kallen turned towards him. “What for?”

“I...” Levy’s gaze was very firmly settled on the bag on his knees. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. About Benny. I know you are— Of course you are, because you have to. You don’t get a choice, so... So I was out of line, and I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

By the end of this rather convoluted apology, Kallen could only stare at him. He wasn’t sure if he was angry, because Levy’s obvious jealousy had made him feel guilty of all things, or hurt, because his friend was implying that he didn’t like Kallen talking to Benny but since Kallen didn’t get a choice about it, he was willing to put up with it.

It was one thing to know he didn’t have anything to give, and quite another to know Levy expected nothing from him other than the occasional tumble. “I am what?” he asked, slowly, as controlled as he could manage. “What do you think is going on with Benny of all people?”

Levy glanced at him, looking rather uncertain. He was half-sunk into his seat, like he was trying to make himself a smaller target. “Well, you weren’t talking to him before your last heat, so...” His eyes cut to the side and his jaw tightened.

“I didn’t sleep with Benny,” Kallen said, viciously glad of sharing it. “And I don’t want to sleep with him.”

But for all his anger, his words made Levy straighten, eyes widening in guileless relief. “You... Oh.” His lips pressed together as if he was, of all damn things, repressing a smile.

“Are you serious? You watched me—” He turned his face away, biting the words back.You watched me get fucked by two alphas two months ago.It was true, but it would have been crueller to himself than to Levy to say it. Back when it’d happened, he’d been so lost in the delirium of heat, that it would have been okay, and since then he’d tried not to dwell. But when he allowed his mind to go there, he could see in how much danger he’d been, and how instrumental his friend had been in keeping him safe.

He had reason to be grateful, and he had reason to be furious. And neither thing was something he could control, pretending it hadn’t happened seemed like the only thing he could do. He’d thought Levy got it.

The hand on his arm surprised him and he stiffened, but Levy didn’t pull back. He wasn’t holding onto Kallen, just lighting resting his fingers on his forearm. Kallen could have simply moved his arm an inch and been freed of him.

“Hey.” He didn’t move. Levy slid his hand down until it rested on top of Kallen’s. “I just wanted to keep you safe. You know that, right?”

Given that Levy hadn’t taken his turn that night, it was difficult for Kallen not to. He’d had every right. It was in both their contracts, for God’s sake. He nodded a little, even if his throat was still too tight to speak.

“And I will do it again,” Levy insisted. “Any time I can help. I don’t... It isn’t right, and I don’t like it, but I’d rather watch it a thousand times than risk you not being okay. Last time, I’msorry I couldn’t—” His grip tightened on Kallen’s hand, but he huffed and said, “Doesn’t matter. It was okay, you said so.”

Kallen had said that, and just that, not wanting to give him any details because... Because he’d felt guilty to have enjoyed himself, to have spent heat as it was meant to be spent, luxuriating in his body and his partners, well cared for both before and after the sex.

And Levy transparently didn’t believe it.

He’d thought his friend had asked him to keep the details to himself so as not to make him uncomfortable. Instead, Levy seemed to feel guilty himself that he hadn’t been there for Kallen.

“You were there.”

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