Page 59 of The Price of Ice

Yes. The answer just popped into his head, unbidden and most definitely uncalled for, and Kallen froze in place as it went through him like a lance. “No!” he said, too late and too little and not true. “I mean, obviously I can’t play like this, so if I could get one of the two back, then yeah. I mean, who would say no to that?”

“Huh,” Brad said. “No one. Sure. So, youcanlive without it.”

Kallen glared, feeling tricked. “I don’twant to,” he spat. “And isn’t hockey paying you? Why are you so against it?”

Brad snorted, leaning back to give Kallen a look that was not at all professional. “Kal, my man, I’m notagainsthockey. Just not crazy obsessed like everyone around you. And also, I’m team Kal here, you know, so pointing out you got choices.”

“It’s Kallen,” Kallen reminded him.

“Sure,” Brad agreed, just like he did every single time Kallen reminded him.

Kallen huffed, irritated because now that he was fully awake, he did feel kind of gross. “Okay, help me up,” he demanded.

And Brad very wisely didn’t say a thing as he did.

Chapter 23

He didn’t remember ever learning it, but the first time he’d noticed he could handle pain better than his teammates, he’d been fourteen. His dad had started talking about the Gresham Institute, where the hockey team was good enough about a quarter of their graduates made it to the Premier League, and Kallen knew what it meant. He needed a scholarship if he wanted to go, and to get a scholarship, he had to prove his worth. As a school, Gresham didn’t technically have a one omega per team policy, but looking at team rosters from previous years, they might as well have.

It made sense, actually, when the Premier League had hundreds of vacancies for alphas (and technically betas) and just a few for omegas. Less, really, since omegas continued in their role even while injured, only officially retiring when the injury was permanently disabling, or they were too old to perform well.

Even then, some teams took their time sweet choosing a replacement.

You couldn’t play without a goalie, and you’d struggle if your offensive line was short-handed, but getting by without the soul of your team on site for a few months was doable, apparently.

As long as you had that poor soul stuffed full of team babies, or at least available for the team to fuck on the regular.

It worked out because there weren’t that many omegas playing hockey at a semi-professional level anyway, though as a kid Kallen hadn’t understood why.

But he had to stand out, and maybe in his local team he was a bit famous for his sharp goals and stickhandling, but that wasn’t the real world. If he wanted to be picked, he had to shinedespitehis phenotype. He’d always been dedicated, but when his dad started talking about Gresham and his mum kept shutting down the conversation saying he was too young, he’d began doing strength training in earnest in his free time.

Unlike most of his teammates who were getting a surge of hormones to help them buff up, Kallen still looked like a child. Omega men had reduced testosterone levels, which was one of the many reasons given for why they wouldn’t have excelled in rough sports like hockey or rugby even if given the chance to join in greater numbers. Only the very best of them were good enough to play professionally.

Kallen was good, but if he wanted to be one of the best, he knew he had to put in the hours.

And there was no denying strength was where his weakness lay, so he didn’t. Instead, he designed a training schedule that would help him overcome it. Later, his mum would apologise to him for not noticing what he was doing, but he’d never blamed her. How was she supposed to know that he spent most afternoons and evenings in his room lifting weights he’d bought with his pocket money instead of chilling with a film or doing homework?

Heshould have known better than to do it on his own. Only his coach had just given him some basic planks when he’d asked for help and even when he held them for ages, he could see no changes. There had been some speech about letting his body grow naturally as well that he’d withstood with his mouth shut like his dad had taught him. Coach’s word was law as far as Graham Guin was concerned.

And that’s how he’d ended up fucking up his knee on a stupid turn. Apparently, he’d strained the muscle by lifting too muchweight, weakening it instead of strengthening it. They said his technique had probably been off too, but Kallen didn’t believe that. Maybe he’d done too much, he could accept it, and he could put his leg up and suck it up while it healed.

Except for how it hadn’t. Not really. He’d been out for three weeks, a little more just in case according to the doctor, and the pain had subsided even when he’d stopped taking analgesics. But then, the day of his check-up, he’d stood up to a fiery flare up his thigh.

His dad had seen him wince, so he’d had to admit to it.

But then, absurdly, they’d gone to see the doctor and even done a scan and there was nothing wrong with his knee anymore, it’d healed.

His dad had told the doctor about the pain, and Kallen had admitted it’d been at least an eight in the pain scale. But it hadn’t made sense, so the doctor had suggested he keep an eye on it and make notes. It could be lingering neuropathic pain, he’d suggested. It didn’t make much sense, but Kallen had wanted to believe him, so he had. He’d started back at the rink on his own at first, feeling like he could breathe for the first time in weeks, and by the time he’d gone home, he’d decided it must have all been in his head after all.

HE COULDN’T STOP THINKINGabout it, and thinking was one of the few things he could do on his own these days, so it was kind of stuck in a loop in his head. It didn’t make sense because it was just hypothetical. Yes, he’d have taken having his legs functioning even if it didn’t mean he could go back on the ice. It was simple logic, really, but it didn’tfeelthat simple. Hockey was everything to him, it wassupposedto be everything. He’d known from before he’d been able to speak in complete sentences that the ice was where he belonged.

“You ever think what you’d do if you weren’t playing?”

Levy blinked sleepily up at him from the other side of the sofa. The away games had been tough on him this time around and he’d declared he wasn’t going anywhere for the two days they had free. Kallen even believed it had nothing to do with keeping him company.

“Um, I guess... coaching?” he said slowly. “I mean, I thought I might not make it, and that would have been a way to stay on the ice. Plus, kids are awesome.” At that, he smiled, eyes bright when they met Kallen’s. He was beautiful like that.

“Kids for sure,” Kallen agreed. “I mean...” He lowered his gaze. “They seem to make you happy.” He shrugged a little. “And I bet you are great with them.”

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