Page 61 of The Price of Ice

“You thought I wouldn’t make it,” he said, shaking his head. “So much for having faith in me.” She’d always repeated that,that she believed in him, that he could do anything he put his mind to. And he’d believed her, in fact, if she’d only shown him this doubt sooner, she might have completely ruined any chance he had of making it. He snorted. “Too bad, I guess, because I believed you.”

It’d taken him a while to forgive her, though it’d helped that she’d agreed it was his decision to make. Once he’d been at Gresham, it’d been easier to miss her and to forget she couldn’t see the future he was building for himself. His dad had promised to talk to her, and he had because on their first visit to see him in school, they’d also signed the agreement by which he would spend his heats with Robert when they began.

She’d shown up to every important milestone of his career, and if she’d had doubts, she hadn’t told him again. And now it turned out she was more right than he’d wanted to believe, that the contracts and the support system he’d been promised weren’t enough to keep him safe.

He couldn’t even pretend like he had ever believed in them himself. He’d wanted to, but in his gut, he’d known the truth.

Knowing was very different from speaking it, though. Especially to his mother, who’d been right all along. She’d never betrayed him like he’d thought all these years. On the contrary, she’d been the only one truly on his side.

Chapter 24

“You remember we were talking about what we’d do if we weren’t playing?”

Levy nodded, still chewing his steak.

Kallen hadn’t missed that they were eating his favourite meal at least once a week. He didn’t have the heart to tell Levy he didn’t care anymore. It was protein and it was what Levy could think to do in the fucking hopeless situation Kallen had stuck them in.

“I still don’t know,” he explained. “But I think... Like, you asked me what would make me happy, and like, things that make me happy make me relax. But work should be challenging, you know? I wanna accomplish something.”

“Huh.” His friend took a sip of water. “That makes sense. Like, with me and kids, they are fun, obviously, but the part that would make it a job is that I’d be helping them, so I would... dunno, make them better at hockey, I hope.”

“More than hockey,” Kallen told him, certain.

And Levy tucked his chin away, going shy all of a sudden. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Kallen confirmed. He didn’t know how he knew, given that he’d never even seen Levy with a kid. “You are good at making people feel safe.”

Levy was watching him, food forgotten. “Even you?”

“Of course!” Kallen assured him. “Why... I mean, yeah, totally.”

“Okay,” Levy said. “I just thought... Like, the thing with Cat was a bust, so...”

That was a generous interpretation as far as Kallen was concerned, but he didn’t want to make Levy feel any worse about something that wasn’t his responsibility in the first place. The alpha had been pressuring their Coach to get him a meeting with someone else, but so far, he hadn’t got any results. Except perhaps for how Management wanted Kallen to see a shrink.

“That’s not on you,” he told Levy. “I know you did your best.”

“I’m not done,” Levy insisted. “I’m not going to stop until they help you, until you are okay again.”

They were at the table today, Kallen on a chair with sides Brad had billed the team for. He leaned forward until he could put his hand on top of his friend’s and squeeze it. “Thank you.”

It probably would all come to nothing, but that didn’t make Levy’s efforts any less important.

IN THE END, HE COULDN’Tavoid telling his parents any longer. Interacting a little in the family group chat covered a multitude of sins, but it wasn’t going to fool his mother for long. He could barely bear the idea of anyone else knowing, let alone having to tell them. But what was he going to do? Live with Levy forever? Or worse, wait until the team came and tried to move him to the Team Den? His mother would be disappointed, but she wouldn’t leave him here. He knew that.

He asked Brad to set up his tablet on the coffee table so he could hang up if he needed to without calling out for help.

His mother picked up already smiling, and something in his chest loosened so suddenly he had to blink back tears. God, he hadn’t realised how much he missed her until that very moment. “Hi,” he got out when she greeted him.

“Are you okay?” Her expression had grown darker, perturbed by whatever she saw.

Kallen shook his head. He’d called her a few days ago, no camera, and got her talking about his brothers and her neighbours so she wouldn’t ask about the team. It suddenly occurred to him that his dad watched his games. He must have known Kallen hadn’t been playing, and yet...

“What’s wrong, baby?”

He closed his eyes and exhaled, what he had inside felt like a volcano about to erupt, but the words that came were mild, simple. “You were right.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, incongruously. “If it makes you look like that, I’m sorry.”

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