Page 8 of The Price of Ice

Kallen tried to swallow past the lump in his throat, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t and— He shot to his feet, crossing the room and he couldn’t have said where he was going. Not until he was in Levy’s kitchen, and he couldn’t have gone anywhere else. They’d shared some whiskey once, so he knew where the bottles were hidden. He yanked the cupboard open and fumbled for the first one there, a transparent liquid. It might have been expensive, but it burned just like any other hard alcohol when he opened it and took a swig.Thathe could swallow, like his body knew what he needed.

He stood there, breathing again, jaded tired exhales, desperate inhales. But he was breathing. He brought the bottle to his lips again, got down one shot and then another.

Half of him wanted to keep going, to finish the whole thing, and then throw up everything inside him, like that could get it out—the pain and the fury both. But he hadn’t made it to the big leagues by giving into his impulses. He carefully placed the bottle on the counter, recapping it. It wasn’t until he turned to the fridge that a wave of dizziness hit him, and he had to catch himself on the counter.“Fuck,” he muttered, annoyed. But at least his voice didn’t come out scraped raw this time.

“Kallen?” Levy was standing at the threshold, his eyes soft and worried, and part of Kallen wanted to scream at him. Because what the fuck did Levyknow? Kallen had taken it, hadn’t he? He’d taken it and he wasalive, and he didn’t need anyone feeling sorry for him for it.

Except that no one else was, so when he opened his mouth, what came out was, “Vandy. It was Vandy.”

Levy let the silence stand for a long moment before he asked, “Vandy hurt you?”

And Kallen nodded, eyes on the ground. He wasn’t angry anymore, like he’d lost the rage somewhere. Maybe he’d swallowed it and that’s why his stomach was twisting now. It was only when he blinked that he realised his eyes had filled with tears.

Levy must have seen it too because he was closer now, touching Kallen’s bare arm with another soft “Hey.”

“I couldn’t—” He tried to explain, because if he’d just done what Vandy had wanted, if he’d just been a good omega and given his alpha what he’d asked for... “I wanted to,” he choked out. “I wanted to do it, but I’d just come and—”

“Shh,” Levy said. “Come here.” And with that he found himself enveloped in Levy’s strong arms, held close and firm against the steadiness of him. He tensed up, knowing he shouldn’t, that if he let go here, if he trusted someone else to hold him, it would only be worse when they let him go crashing down later. “Just for a minute,” Levy whispered in his ear. “Just take a minute and we’ll talk.”

And like it’d been an order, Kallen felt his muscles unlocking, his body growing heavier. Levy took his weight, one of his hands rubbing at his upper back, his cheek pressed to Kallen’s right ear.

It was probably longer than a minute, but neither of them was counting. The only movement was Levy’s hand on his back,the only sound their breathing, synchronised now because their chests were pressed close together. Kallen was getting a little sleepy now, likely the alcohol hitting his system—he’d skipped lunch, he suddenly remembered—and of course the warmth of another body against his. Someone who felt safe, even if Kallen knew better than to believe he was.

He pulled back slowly. He had to or he wouldn’t have been able to at all.

Levy gave him a little squeeze on both arms before letting go.

“How much did you drink?”

Kallen half turned his head towards the bottle. “Three shots? I drank them straight from the bottle. Um, sorry?”

“It’s fine,” his host told him. “Tequila burns any cooties you might have left on it.”

“Cooties?” Kallen asked, a little amused despite himself and caught Levy licking his lips, triggering a flash of memory he couldn’t quite reach.

But the alpha was already turning away, going to the oven and peering inside. “Sure, cooties, that’s what my little sister calls what you get from kissing people. Or holding their hands, really,” he added, flashing a weak smile Kallen’s way.

Had they kissed?He wondered suddenly, breaking their gaze to go put the bottle away.

“Just bring it,” Levy told him. “The food’s ready, but we can drink a little more later.”

HE’D THOUGHT THAT MOMENThad been it, and they’d just eat together, maybe put something on the telly. It would have been enough, to have someone who knew he was hurting and wanted to make it better.

But once they were done with the lasagna, Levy cleared his throat and reached for the tequila. “Okay, then.” He pouredtwo fingers into each of the glasses Kallen had brought full of water. They were too large for alcohol, but when he saw the determination on Levy’s eyes, he realised it was too late to worry about logistics. “I’m listening.”

Kallen’s eyes fell to the glass, and he was throwing it back before he knew it. Levy let him empty his own too, but stopped him with a firm hand on his wrist when he reached for the bottle, shaking his head. “Gotta get it out,” he told Kallen.

When he tugged, he was allowed to pull his hand back so he could cross his arms and rock a little as he waited for the tequila to hit his bloodstream. It didn’t take that long, even if it wasn’t such a head rush now that he’d eaten. “He wanted me to come untouched.” The words were flat, clinical, like he was watching himself talk instead of remembering. “Even after I had already come, he kept going and going. I... I didn’t know anyone could go for that long. And then one of the twins told him to stop, and he did, he... he didn’t even finish.” He shrugged a little. “I was hurting, and they... they took care of me. And then—” He cut himself off, stomach rebelling. He couldn’t say this shit, not when the Groddys had been so good to him, he didn’t—

Levy lifted the bottle and poured him another finger, snapping his attention to the glass. But for a long moment, he couldn’t reach for it, because if he did... He lifted it slowly and had a tiny sip and then another and another, until it was all gone. He kept his eyes closed throughout, feeling the burn and nothing else. “They left,” his voice was too low, maybe Levy wouldn’t have heard. “They left me alone and I woke up and the doctor told me how to... How to take care of it. That’s... He hasn’t even looked at me. Like I...”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Levy’s voice was low and rumbling, full of barely repressed power. Like if he lost control, it’d spill over and burn the world down.

And Kallen must have been insane because he looked him right in the eye. “Yeah? So why am I here?”

Levy’s hand on his wrist shocked him enough to try and pull away, but the alpha didn’t let go this time, eyes flaring. “Because that arseholehurtyou,” he hissed. “Even though it’s his fucking job toprotect you.”

Kallen shook his head, not quite in denial. It was true, he knew it was true. He’d wanted someone to say it, the doctor or the Groddys or... But what the fuck was he supposed to do if itwastrue? They weren’t going to do anything about Vandy, that was clear. They expected him to take the beating in the heat room like he’d take it on the ice, no complaints, and once again that was the price he had to pay. The price he’dagreedto pay. For hockey. He hadn’t agreed to Vandy hurting him, he knew that, and he hadn’t deserved it because coming untouched was difficult in the best of circumstances and he’d tried his best and still failed. But he’d agreed to letting Vandy fuck him, or letting whoever Management wanted to fuck him when he went into heat, and if he complained they’d think he was going back on his agreement, making a fuss, beingweak. Exactly what they expected from an omega.

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