Page 49 of Between the Ropes

When I return to the table, Annika immediately clocks my expression. Her eyes narrow, and she sets down her drink carefully.

“Okay, what’s going on? Spill it,” she demands.

I swallow hard, gripping the edge of the table. “Chrissy,” I mutter, then sigh. “She said Ryan always disappears when he’s done with someone. Do you think that’s what he’s doing? I haven’t heard from him all night.”

Annika’s jaw tightens. “That bitch.” She turns toward the bar and waves over the bartender. “You know what we need? Tequila. Lots and lots of tequila.”

The bartender sets down three shot glasses, and Annika, Travis, and I all toss one back together. The tequila burns down my throat, warm and numbing.

It helps a little.

But not enough.

I still want him.

I still want answers.

I just need to see him, or hear his voice, something.

And yet… my phone stays silent.

36

I can’t stop the voices in my head. The boss’s words echo like a broken record—distracted, not yourself.My fists clench just thinking about it. Am I really letting myself slip? Have I let Natalie come between me and my career? This career that’s taken blood, sweat, and years of my life? The one thing that’s always been a constant, always been mine?

I slam the front door behind me, still tasting the bitterness of defeat, the fucking chair shot ringing in my ears. I make a beeline for the gym in my house, tearing off my shirt, ignoring the throb from the stitches in my forehead. The doc patched me up, but the pain’s nothing compared to what’s twisting inside me.

I hit the treadmill, cranking up the speed until my legs burn, and my lungs feel like they’re going to burst. Sweat pours down my face, my shirt sticking to me, but I keep going. I need tooutrun this feeling, this doubt. I can’t afford to lose focus now. Not with the biggest match of my career just days away.

Natalie. She’s been in my head nonstop, like a drug I can’t quit, and maybe… maybe it’s fucking me up. Maybe I am slipping. The texts on my phone are still there, unanswered. Itkillsme to ignore her, but right now? I have to. I need space. I need to get my head right. Maybe things are moving too fast. Maybe I need to hit the brakes before I get completely derailed.

I stop running, collapsing forward, hands on my knees, sucking in deep breaths. My legs are jelly, my muscles screaming at me to quit, but my mind is still racing. I wipe the sweat off my face, glancing at my phone again. There’s a few missed texts from Natalie. I could respond. Iwantto respond, but I don’t. I need to stay in control.

The gym lights buzz overhead as I pull myself off the treadmill and head for the shower. I crank the water as hot as it’ll go, steam filling the room until I can barely see my reflection in the mirror. It doesn’t matter. I step under the scalding stream, trying to wash away everything. The ache in my body, the questions circling in my head.

Is she worth it?

That thought cuts through me, leaving me breathless. Fuck, I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I promised myself I wouldn’t let this happen. Not again. My past, my trust issues—they’re always right there, lurking. But Natalie… she broke through all of that. She slipped through my defenses when I wasn’t even looking.

My cock twitches just thinking about her. Her body. Her touch. Her fucking smell. I turn the water cold, biting back a groan as the shock hits me. No. I can’t let myself get wrapped up in this. I can’t lose focus. I switch off the shower, grabbing a towel and scrubbing the water off me. It does nothing to clear my head.

I slip into a pair of boxers, making my way into the bedroom. The room’s dark, quiet, but her suitcases are still against the wall, untouched, screaming at me to call her. The sheets on the bed still smell like her, a mix of sweetness and something intoxicating. I groan, flopping down on the bed, desperate to get some sleep. My body’s exhausted, but my mind is racing too fast to stop for even a moment.

After tossing and turning for what feels like forever, I give in and grab a sleeping pill. Swallowing it down with a mouthful of water, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. The gash on my forehead is swollen, bruised, a physical reminder of tonight’s mess.

I crawl back into bed, but the doubts are still there, gnawing at me.Am I distracted?The boss seemed to think so, and I hate that he’s right. I hate that I’m questioning myself.Am I slipping because of her?

When I finally fall asleep, it’s not peaceful. I wake up early the next morning, and anxiety hits me hard, coiling in my gut. I know I can’t avoid Natalie forever. I’m going to have to face her, face this. My phone buzzes on the nightstand, but I don’t reach for it.

I sit on the edge of the bed, running my hands through my hair, staring down at the floor. I’ve worked too damn hard to let this all slip away now. But then there’s her, and the way she makes me feel… feelings I never thought I’d let myself have again.

My past rises up like a wall, blocking out everything. I’ve been burned before, and I swore I wouldn’t let it happen again. But Natalie... she’s different. And that scares the hell out of me.

I’m torn between everything I’ve built, everything I’ve sacrificed for, and her. And I don’t know which way to lean.

I hear the boss’s voice in my head again:“You seemed distracted, Ryan. Not yourself.”

Shit.Maybe he’s right. Maybe Iamdistracted. But how do I stop it? How do I keep from falling any further?

---