Page 52 of Between the Ropes

"I'm fine," I say again, more insistent this time, but inside, I’m lying to myself. The truth is, I feel like I’ve been gutted. Not just from the shot to the head—no. It’s everything that’s come with it. All the thoughts I can’t seem to shut off. The distractions. The constant noise. The battle inside me that won't seem to settle down.

Casey shifts in his chair, leaning forward with a more business-like tone. "We’re just a few days away fromFallout. This is the biggest match of your career, Ryan. We need you at 100%. No distractions, no slip-ups. I need you focused out there, Pierce.

There it is again.Distractions.They don’t know how close to the truth they’re getting. I nod like I understand, like I’m in control, but I’m spiraling. "I’ll be ready. You don’t have to worry about me."

"Good," Brian says, but I can tell by the way his eyes linger on me that he doesn’t believe it. "You’re a key player in this. We need you to keep your head in the game."

My jaw tightens. I’ve heard this speech a thousand times from them, from myself, from everyone. But this time, it feels different. Because this time, I know I’m not fully there. I’m trying to be. I’m trying to shut it all out. But Natalie’s face keeps flashing through my mind, her voice in my head, the last texts she sent me sitting unread on my phone. I can’t bring myselfto look at them, because I know if I do, I won’t be able to not respond.

Brian and Casey finish up, going over the schedule for the next few days, the media appearances, and the final promotional pushes. I nod at the right times, answer when I need to, but the whole time, my thoughts are drifting. Natalie’s waiting for me at the arena. I haven’t answered her texts, and I know she’s going to want an explanation. She deserves one. But I’m not ready. Seeing her is going to break me, and I don’t know if I can handle it right now.

"Alright, Ryan," Casey says, standing and extending his hand. "Just make sure you’re checked out by the doc each day. We’ll see you at the big show."

I stand, shaking both their hands, plastering on a fake smile. "I’ll be there."

As soon as I leave the room, the weight crashes down on me again. I pull out my phone, half expecting another text from Natalie, but there’s nothing new. Just the ones from last night, sitting there unanswered. I exhale, a mix of relief and guilt.

I walk toward my car, dragging out the time, knowing what’s waiting for me back at the arena. I need to get my head straight, to get back to beingme.But everything’s tangled up now. My career, my feelings for Natalie... it’s all mixed together in a way that’s fucking with my head. I need space, but all I can think about is how much I want her. How much I miss her. How bad I need to fucking touch her.

When I finally pull into the parking lot at the arena, my stomach tightens. I take my time getting out of the car, mentally preparing for the inevitable confrontation. Natalie’s here, and she’s going to want answers I’m not sure I can give. Not yet.

The moment I step inside, I run straight into Travis. He’s leaning against the wall, scrolling through his phone, but as soon as he sees me, he straightens up.

"Yo, man. Natalie’s been looking for you," he says, eyeing me like he knows something’s off.

"Yeah, I know," I mutter, brushing past him. But Travis isn’t the type to let shit go easily. He steps in front of me, blocking my path.

"What's up with you? You're acting like you're running from something."

I glare at him, annoyed but knowing he’s right. "I’m just distracted. Got a lot on my mind."

"Is this about Natalie?" Travis crosses his arms, his expression softening. "Man, don’t tell me you’re freaking out over her. You’ve been in a good place with her. Hell, you’ve been the happiest I’ve seen you in a while."

I let out a frustrated grunt. "Happiest? I’m distracted, man. I let myself getdistractedby all of this. And now, right before the biggest moment of my career, I’m losing focus."

"Distracted?" Travis raises an eyebrow. "Dude, you’ve been killing it in the ring, hitting the gym harder than ever. You’re a fucking machine. Who’s getting in your head?"

I hesitate, feeling the weight of everything pressing down on me. "I let things get too serious. With Natalie. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but... it did. And now I feel like I’m losing sight of what I’ve been working for. My entire career—everything I’ve done—it’s all been leading up to this, and I can’t afford to lose it because of... because of—"

"Because of a woman?" Travis cuts me off, disbelief clear in his voice. "Dude, Natalie isn’t justanywoman. You’re not losing focus because of her. You’re losing focus because you’re letting people get in your head. Lester played dirty last night, and you’re letting that shit mess with your mind. You would’ve had him if it weren’t for that damn chair shot. Come on man, you know I’m right."

I grit my teeth, knowing there’s some truth in what he’s saying. But it’s not just the loss that’s messing with me. It’s everything else. It’s Natalie. The way she’s wrapped herself around me, gotten under my skin in a way I didn’t expect.

Travis watches me for a second, his face softening with concern. "Look, man. Don’t let them ruin this for you. Don’t let them ruin what you’ve got with her, either. You deserve to be happy, Ryan. Don’t sabotage it because you’re scared. You can have both you know, a career and a relationship. It doesn’t have to be one or the other."

I can’t respond. I don’t know how to. Everything’s too tangled up inside me—my career, my feelings, my fears. So, instead, I just storm past him, needing to be alone. I isolate myself in one of the locker rooms, sitting on the cold bench, my hands running through my hair. I need to get my head right before practice. I should be excited. I should beampedfor this week, but instead, all I feel is this crushing anxiety.

I stare down at my hands, clenching them into fists. I should be on top of the world right now, but I’m drowning in doubts. What the hell am I doing? Am I pushing Natalie away to focus on my career, or am I running from something I’m too scared to face? Something that feels too real, too fast.

I don’t know the answers, but I know one thing: this week is going to test me in more ways than one. And I don’t know if I’m ready for it.

39

I feel like I can barely keep myself together as I sit at my desk, pretending to work, pretending I don’t feel like my whole world is crashing down around me. Every time my phone buzzes, my heart jumps, hoping—just hoping—that it’s him. But it’s never Ryan. Just texts from Annika, a reminder from Joel about tomorrow’s schedule, emails I can’t even bother to read.

And then there’s Chrissy’s voice, her words still echoing in my head, cold and smug:Guess things with you and Ryan didn’t last long. He knew who to call to help him lick his wounds after his loss.Her voice was dripping with satisfaction, that little laugh of hers slicing into me like a knife. She didn’t even try to hide her glee as she all but called me a fool to my face. And maybe I am a fool. What else explains the way I believed in this... whatever this is between me and Ryan?

God, it was just this morning that I woke up excited to see him, to be there for him today, knowing what a rough night he’d had in the ring. I was going to surprise him, maybe make him laugh, ease his stress a little. But he’s been avoiding me, hasn’t answered a single text, and now I can’t stop replaying Chrissy’s words in my head, wondering if she’s right. Did he really go to her last night? Did he turn to her because it was easier than facing me?

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