Page 53 of Between the Ropes

My chest tightens with every second that ticks by, my breath catching as the anxiety swells and presses up against my ribs. I can’t do this. I can’t sit here, knowing he’s somewhere in this building, ignoring me. The thought of facing him terrifies me; the thought of not facing him hurts even worse. I want answers, but I’m terrified of what they might be.

I find Joel in the hallway, swallowing back the sick feeling rising in my throat. “Hey, Joel,” I say, my voice trembling. I try to sound casual, like nothing’s wrong, but the words come out weak, broken. “I... I think I need to head home early. I’m not feeling well.”

He studies me, concern creasing his brow. “Natalie, you don’t look good at all. You’re pale as a ghost. Do you want to go to medical and get checked out first?”

I shake my head, forcing a weak smile. “No, I just need to go home and rest. I’ll be fine.”

He hesitates, but eventually nods, sympathy softening his face. “Alright, go on. Take care of yourself, alright?”

“Thanks, Joel.” My voice is barely a whisper as I turn and walk away, trying not to look like I’m running from this place. From him. But I am. I’m running from all of it. Because staying here and pretending everything’s okay is impossible. I’m not okay. I feel like I’m crumbling, piece by piece.

I make my way to my station, grabbing my things in a daze, stuffing them into my bag. My hands are shaking as I fumblewith the zipper, the sound loud and jarring in the quiet room. I just need to get out. I need to breathe. I need to forget that any of this happened.

Just as I reach the exit, I run smack into Travis, who’s coming down the hall, his face lighting up in surprise. “Natalie! Hey, where are you going? You’re not leaving, are you?”

I force myself to look at him, my vision blurring as I fight back tears. I can’t let him see me like this. “I... yeah, I’m heading out early. I just… I need to get out of here, Travis. Please don’t tell Ryan. I’m just going to grab my things from his place and leave the key. I can’t... I can’t see him right now.”

Travis’s face drops, his expression a mixture of confusion and concern. “Wait, what’s going on? Did something happen between you two?”

I press my lips together, forcing back the tears that threaten to spill over. “Please, Travis,” I whisper. “Just… don’t say anything to him. I have to go.”

He looks at me, his eyes searching mine, and I know he’s trying to understand, trying to figure out what could’ve possibly gone so wrong. “Look, I don’t know what happened, but just… give him some time, alright? This match has him all in his head. It doesn’t mean he’s… I don’t know, Nat. Just… don’t do anything you’ll regret.”

I can’t even respond. The tears are too close now, my voice too fragile to risk another word. I just shake my head and slip past him, practically running out the door before he can say anything else.

The Uber ride to Ryan’s house feels endless, the silence pressing down on me, filling every corner of the car. My mind keeps replaying every look, every word, every touch we shared, and it all feels tainted now, like it was never real. I can almost hear Chrissy’s voice laughing in the back of my mind, mocking me for being so naive. Why would a man like Ryan wantsomeone like me, anyway? I was probably just… convenient. Easy. Something to fill his time with.

When I finally arrive at his house, I feel a lump form in my throat as I step up to the door. The key he gave me feels heavy in my hand as I unlock it, and the familiar scent of him hits me the second I step inside. It’s a mix of warm cedar and something distinctly Ryan, the smell that once made me feel safe, grounded. Now it feels like a cruel reminder of everything I’ve lost.

My suitcase is where I left it, half-open in his bedroom, clothes spilling out onto the floor. I grab everything in a rush, throwing it all into my bag without even bothering to fold anything. My toothbrush, my charger, the spare hoodie he lent me that I always wore when it was cold… everything goes into the bag, one item after another, until it’s like I was never here at all.

I pause in front of the bed, staring at the tangled sheets, the pillow still dented from where he slept. I can almost picture him lying there, his arm slung around me, his voice low and warm in my ear. But the memory feels like a knife twisting in my chest now. I was stupid to think it meant anything more than a fling to him.

Blinking back tears, I head to the kitchen and leave the key on the counter next to the coffee maker.

The moment I close the front door behind me, I feel like a part of me is shattering. He’ll probably see this on his security cameras, watch me pack up and leave like I meant nothing. Maybe he won’t even care. Maybe he’ll just laugh. Maybe tonight Chrissy will share his bed. The thought sends a rumble of nausea through me.

The ride home is a blur, the city lights flashing by in a haze. I can’t think, can’t feel anything but this hollow ache where my heart used to be. How could I let myself believe in this? Howcould I be so stupid to think that a man like Ryan Pierce would want anything more than a casual fling with a girl like me?

I’m still numb when I get back to my apartment hours later. The silence feels oppressive, wrapping around me like a dark, suffocating blanket. I collapse onto my bed, curling up as my thoughts spiral out of control.

I thought this job was a fresh start, a way to rebuild my life, to prove to myself that I could stand on my own. But now it’s all tainted. UXW, Ryan, all of it. I can’t go back. Not when I know he’s there. Not when I know I was just a temporary distraction to him, something to pass the time. Chrissy’s words echo in my mind again, mocking me. I want to scream, to cry, to forget I ever walked into his world. To forget I ever allowed myself to believe that I was his.

The tears finally come, and I don’t bother trying to hold them back. I feel broken, betrayed, and so incredibly foolish. I curl up tighter, hugging my knees to my chest as the sobs wrack my body, each one ripping me apart a little more.

I don’t know how long I lie there, crying, but eventually, the tears dry up, leaving me hollow and exhausted. And in the quiet, painful clarity that follows, I realize what I have to do. I’ll go in tomorrow and resign. I’ll walk away from all of it. From Ryan. From UXW. I’ll leave this whole chapter behind, no matter how much it hurts.

Because I can’t keep doing this to myself. I can’t keep letting people in, only to be shattered when they decide I’m no longer worth their time. It’s time to take control of my life, to walk away and never look back. Even if it breaks my heart to do it.

40

The locker room’s almost empty now, just a few echoes of conversation drifting from down the hall. I take my time, moving slower than usual, tying and retying my shoelaces, wiping down my gear even though it’s already clean. Anything to delay the inevitable.

Travis sits across from me, watching. I don’t have to look up to feel his eyes on me, full of some quiet understanding I’m not ready to deal with. Finally, he breaks the silence.

“She’s not going to be there,” he says softly. “You can go home.”

I look over my shoulder, frowning. “What are you talking about?”

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