Page 18 of Knot Mine

Zale Blackwood isn’t for me.

With my feet up above my head, I wonder which sadistic alpha invented stirrups. Although, I think I’d take a whole day of laying like this over the family dinner I have to attend later this evening. My parents were in town, coming back from a little stint in Brantôme, France where they were renovating another collection of properties. Well, overseeing the renovations anyway. I couldn’t imagine either my mother or my father getting their hands dirty as they used tools.

The speculum slides out of my body and with a wince, I exhale. Everything is exposed as Zion pokes and prods as he mutters under his breath about my current condition.

“I wish you’d listen to me, Shiloh,” he tuts as he nudges me to close my legs. “What you’re doing is dangerous.”

Zion’s parents were close friends with mine, and despite the fact he was almost eleven years older than me, he was someone I counted as a close friend. Not that it was difficult, since my close friend list consisted of Zion and Bell. Millie would have been on that list too once, but now there was this gulf between us.

“Spare the lecture.” Rolling my eyes, I slide off the bed and get dressed. “I know the risks.”

“Do you?” I hear the sound of plastic snapping as he tears off his gloves and tosses them in the bin with a clang. There’s some metal clattering as he puts the tools in a machine to be disinfected. “You're worried your heats are becoming more unstable. That means you can’t predict or plan when it will happen. What if you’re with an alpha when it does?”

Zion had been prescribing me suppressants since I was seventeen, and every time I came to his office, I had to hear the same lecture. I know it came from a good place, but this was my life.

“What if it makes you ill?” He continues, running a hand through his auburn hair before scratching at the scruff on his chin. Zion was handsome, there was no denying that, with broad shoulders and a kind smile (when he smiled) but he was a little judgy for my taste. “It might make you infertile. Shiloh, we don’t know what the long-term effects of the suppressants are.”

I knew all that. He’d explained it, over and over again as if I’d suddenly lost all my comprehension skills. As an alpha himself, he couldn’t understand why I was rejecting my nature.

Did I want children? Did I let myself dream of meeting my Fated Mate and growing fat and round with their baby? Ofcourse, but that wasn’t a dream I could have. I was a defective omega. A pale imitation.

Wanting more than being a baby maker made me strange, my temperament made me even stranger, and when you added in my plain features—it was the triple whammy of broken omega. Who would choose me? Who could give me the life I wanted?

“I’m asking you to reconsider your approach.” His voice is pleading now as we sit at his desk. He’s holding the prescription pad, and I know he’s going to give me what I’m asking for. He always does.

“You’re not just my doctor, Zion. You’re my friend. But you need to trust me. I. Know. The. Risks.” And I did. They were always in the back of my mind, lingering like the boogeyman.

Finally relenting, he sighs and scrubs his face again. “Fine. I refuse to increase the dose. I’ll write your normal script. That’s the best I can do, Loh.”

The use of my nickname, the one usually reserved for Millie, my parents and Zion, has the corner of my mouth lifting into a smile.

“If you’re not going to share your heat with an alpha, you know the drill. Lots of fluid, try to eat, use toys to help ease some of the symptoms until the worst of it passes.”

“I know, I know.” If an omega chooses not to have an alpha partner for their heat, it could become unbearable.

When we’re in that heat haze, there’s no rational thought—just base desire. An innate instinct to breed, to be bred. The instinct grows, and swells until it becomes painful to fight it. Our bodies aren’t our own and our minds are lost to the need to take an Alpha knot and be filled with cum. There’s something in alpha pheromones and cum that helps soothe that need, and override the pain. It’s nature's way of ensuring we continue breeding.

Holding up three fingers in a mock salute, I tease him. “I promise I’ll avoid being alone with an alpha if I feel so much as a cold coming on.”

Zion tuts, clicking his pen aggressively before he fills in my script with his illegible scrawl. Did doctors receive lessons in medical school in chicken scratch? “I want it noted that you’re being reckless.”

“Noted.” I nod.

“And that I warned you.”

“Also noted.” I nod again.

“And that you’re a damn brat.”

“Always.” I blow him a kiss this time before pushing to my feet as he hands me the piece of paper.

“Here’s your pills, now, get out of my office.” He gently reaches out and grabs my wrist. Warm brown eyes look up at me. “But call me if you need me.”

“Yes, Zion,” I dutifully reply.

Now it was time to go home, shower, eat more ice cream and then prepare for what might possibly be the most awkward diner of my life. Wonder if I’ll have time to play with my new toy before 6pm?

Chapter Eight

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