Page 38 of Knot Mine

The strange little domestic routine of preparing and cooking dinner together would be all too easy to slip into with him and I can’t allow myself that. So, when he offers to wash the dishes while I dry, I refuse and do them by myself.

After food, we work on finalizing the last pieces of the project paper, critiquing each other’s draft evaluations and email everything across to Zo. With their seal of approval, it can actually be submitted almost four weeks early. I’m not sure I’ve ever submitted anything that early before in my life.

It isn’t until we’re sitting there, just talking about the bibliography and we’re plunged into darkness that I realize the sun went down a while ago. I’m surprised at how quickly the afternoon passed, given the humiliating start to the day. I thought it would’ve been more difficult and I’d be watching the clock, praying for a reprieve, but being around Zale is getting easier and easier for some reason. Maybe it’s because he actually let me peek inside his walls, and see another side to the alpha.

Those little confessions woven into our conversations this afternoon make it harder and harder for me to hate him. Not that I ever really did. Do I resent him for being a passive participant in how others treated me? Yes. That’s not really a good excuse for turning a blind eye.

But for him, he feels helpless and not just when it comes to me, clearly. From what he said about working for his family, and how everyone must think he has an easy life, he obviously feels helpless about his own life and for that, I pity him.

With the lights out, Zale shifts closer, using his phone together with the dim glow of the fading fire to help me find mine. It wasn’t unusual to experience power cuts out here and they were usually fixed pretty quick.

Pulling up the number for the property manager, I watch as Zale adds more logs to the fire to build it back up. Once again, my eyes are drawn to his broad back and muscular ass. His thick jean clad thighs look sturdy, and I briefly find myself wondering how many daily squats it takes to get a body like that.

The property manager is quick to answer, letting me know that power in the area has gone out with the passing storm, but they’re positive they can get it fixed in the morning.

“What did they say?” Zale asks as I get to my feet and stretch.

“So, it’s a storm issue and it won’t be fixed until the morning.” I give him a small shrug, there’s nothing else we can really do.

He nods, standing closer to me than I’m entirely comfortable with, despite the day we've spent together. He clearly has issues with personal space and boundaries. “What’s the plan for the rest of the evening?”

Crossing my arms, I shot him a look, “We should go to bed, take a look in the morning.”

He hesitates, hand running through his hair again and I’m beginning to realize it's a nervous trait. “Uh…”

I close my laptop down and gather up all the paperwork with a soft snort, “You scared of the dark, Zale? A big strong Alpha like you?”

I can’t tell in the orange glow of the fire, but something about his expression makes me think he’s blushing as he shoves both hands in his pockets, which forces the edges of his jeans lower.

Get a grip Shiloh,I remind myself.You’re not that desperate. Not yours, remember?

“Can we not just stay in the living room for tonight? Like a slumber party?”

“Are you serious?” I can’t help the way my eyebrows lift. He’s a paradox. The big bad alpha was afraid of being alone? In the dark? Wasn’t I learning all sorts of delicious things today?

It seems that maybe Zale Blackwood isn’t as cool and nonchalant as he’d have everyone believe. “Fine.”

I have no idea why I keep giving into him, he was the one who said I wasn’t worth the effort and yet here he is asking things of me. All I want is to be disgusting, and dirty in my own sheets until this preheat phase passes. This horrible, sticky, uncomfortable feeling won’t pass until I go into full blown heat. It’s a strange spike in my hormones that will wax and wane, driving me insane with need and restlessness until it can be fucked out of my system. At least the pills are masking it still, they must be since Zale hasn’t mentioned anything about my being an omega. That tells me that despite being in close quarters all day, he’s still clueless.

With a soft sigh, I grab the emergency torch and a lantern from under the kitchen sink before handing them to him. “Here. Take one of these and go find where my parents have stashed the booze for this weekend while I grab some candles and quilts.”

If we’re going to be camping out here, I was going to need to be drunk, stoned or sleeping. Otherwise, I might do somethingreckless, like stab him with my pen or ask him to keep breathing on me to cool me down. It really could go either way.

When I’m pulling my quilt off the bed, I knock my backpack onto the floor with a clatter. Zale’s voice calls up to see if I’m okay, but I tell him to stop worrying as I quickly shove the contents back inside. My hand touches something, and I instantly smile.Bell, you beautiful omega.I decided to quickly change into my pajama shorts and an oversized T-shirt, since I was having hot flushes. Checking my band-aid is still firmly in place, I try not to look too closely at my reflection in the mirror.

With the blankets and pillows under my arm, I stride into the lounge holding my hand up as if I have a trophy. “Look what I found!”

“You ‘found’ it?” Zale looks dubiously at the little baggie of pre-rolled joints in my hand like it might bite him. It looks like he had the same idea as me since we’ve both changed. He’s wearing sweatpants and a vest for our impromptu sleepover.

“Yeah. I found it.” I shrug, not letting him kill my happiness with his grumpy face. “In my bag. Bell must have packed it.”

Zale puts a bottle of whiskey and a few cans down on the coffee table, along with more snacks before pushing it to one side, creating a U shape with the L-shaped sofa and coffee table. He takes the quilts, and some throws, placing them down in the empty space along with cushions before sitting on the floor with his back against the sofa.

I start dotting some candles around the open space and light the ones on the dining table and the kitchen island and in no time we’re good to nestle into the cozy little space we’ve created ready to light up.

The cabin was growing on me. Seeing it through Zales eyes had given me a new appreciation for it. It’s like I’m seeing the effort that my parents had gone to for the first time and noticing the little things they’d included to make our lives easier. Thingslike having my own wardrobe here, or the tea I preferred, but I’d always just taken it for granted.

“Is he your boyfriend?” Zale’s voice is low, soft as he opens a bag of chips and cracks open a still cold can of beer.

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