And without so much as another blink of those long lashes, he flees from the room.
Fuck.
I’d fucked up.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
My skin feels clammy as my stomach churns. My cock slips from Millie’s mouth, spent.
“Hey, is everything okay?” Getting to her feet, she straightens her dress and smoothed down her hair. I haven’t moved, haven’t tucked myself away or even blinked. I think I may have also stopped breathing.
“Huh?”
“You seem a little out of it.” She chuckles, the sound sweet and warm. Goddess, what was wrong with me? Why had I done that? This girl was everything good and nice. She was practically the personification of apple pie and ice cream. The one you brought home to the parents. The one you grew old with surrounded by hordes of grandchildren. “Was it that good?”
“Mmm. Yeah.” I nod. I can’t be here. Finally sorting out myself, I slide my hands into my pockets. “I think I’m going to call it a night.”
“What?” Green eyes blink up at me, filled with confusion.They’re the wrong shade.“But we just got out the baby pictures.”
Sighing, I rock back on my feet. “I’m sure you were just as adorable back then as you are now. I just…I’m not feeling too great.”
“Oh…” And like the perfect omega partner she is, she immediately looks concerned, pressing her hand against my forehead. “You are a little warm. Come say goodbye to my parents and I’ll order you a ride.”
The whole ride back home I wrestle with my guilt. What the hell was I thinking? Where did those thoughts even come from? What was I going to do? Act like that never happened?Avoid Shiloh? Avoid Millie? What was the right thing here? A churning in my gut makes me groan as I toss my head back in the seat and watch Oakley go by in a blur. It feels like I’ve barely blinked before we’re pulling up outside the house. My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I know without looking it’s Mills. But I can’t read it right now.
Letting myself in the front door, I try to creep past the living room where I can hear my housemates, but Hunter spots me.
“Hey man, how was dinner?” he calls with a wave as he looks up from the video game they’re playing. He’s sitting on the floor with a bowl of popcorn between his legs, while Evans lays across the sofa and Blake is reading a book, settled in the armchair. Surprisingly for a Saturday night, there’s no Sadie or any other omega lingering around.
“Good.” I say, giving a partial even though it feels like my insides are churning away in a blender. Millie’s parents liked me, Millie was pleased with how the evening went and I got my dick sucked. All positives, right? The fact that I came while making weird eye contact with her brother was an issue, but I couldn’t focus on that for too long right now or I might have a full-blown panic attack. “I didn’t think you were staying in.”
Hunter pauses the game and gets to his feet with a stretch and a grunt while Evans picks up his phone and scrolls through it lazily while Blake watches me over the edge of his book.
“Evans is still semi-avoiding Sadie since she sent him a relationship request on SocialBuzz.” With a wide grin, Hunter slaps my arm on his way to the kitchen as Evans flips him off. “I might head over to the house party over on Woodrow later if you wanna join. Blake is being boring since he has a paper due.”
Blake snorts as he closes his book and snatches up the abandoned bowl of popcorn, shoveling a handful in his mouth. “Yeah, goddess forbid I might actually want to graduate in the summer.”
Eyes narrowing he looks me over carefully. “Everything alright?”
Swallowing awkwardly, I nod. “Um, yeah.”
I always seem to forget how perceptive Blake is, always picking up on things that others miss. It’s one of the ways he managed to worm his way into being my best friend. Others look at me and see the Blackwood alpha heir. Good grades, good looks, money, status, on the football team and they assume I have it all. And in theory I do.
Blake was the only one to notice the cracks. The pressure. The constant need to always be ‘Zale Blackwood’, always be charming or polite.
Shiloh is the other exception to my public persona. I may not have bullied him like the others, but I never stopped them either. He gets under my skin in a way I can’t explain, I can never seem to keep my cool around him and everything always falls apart – whether that means we fight, or…make intense eye contact while I come.No. Stop thinking about it.
“Of course he isn’t!” Evans scoffs, slapping one of the couch cushions. “I told you man. These omegas invite us for dinner with their parents and it’s game over. Next thing you know we’re married with babies and business mergers under our belts.”
He’s leaning up on his elbows as he waves his phone around as if to show us proof.“Business mergers?” Hunter comes back carrying a bag of chips, and a four pack of beer. He pulls a tub of dip out of his hoodie pocket while I perch myself on the edge of the sofa, waiting to hear Evans’ theory.
“Oakley is an elite college, there’s a reason parents across the country scramble to send their children here. This institution is the bedrock for so many power couples.” He pulls a face as he looks between us, like we’re stupid or completely ignorant. Rolling his eyes, he sits up and starts using his fingers to count off his points. “Wealth, power, scandal, sex–this college has itall. All the most eligible alphas and omegas walk these halls. It’s like a four-year job interview, and the results decide the rest of your life.”
“What about love?” Blake queries, amusements shining in his eyes.
It’s different for him. Blake’s father is a beta who teaches at a high school, while his beta mother stays at home with his younger sisters and writes children’s books. They don’t pressure him. There are no expectations for him to find an appropriate omega and settle down. He’s here because he’s an incredible athlete and intelligent enough to land a full scholarship.
“Love is so far down the list, my friend.” Evans cracks the top of a beer, shaking his head.