Page 79 of The Perfect Marriage

“But you knew of her before her murder?” Sheriff Stevens taps his fingers on the table.

Anne swallows hard and nods. “Yes, not her name or anything. I just saw her with Adam.”

“And what were you doing in Prince William County?” He cocks his head.

“I had been there in the summer for vacation, and I loved the scenery for my photography, and I thought it would be even more beautiful in the fall. I wasn’t expecting to see what I saw. I was just taking some photos. It was completely innocent.”

“Innocent?”

“Well, it was,” Anne says.

“But you decided to take that information and threaten Adam with it?”

“It wasn’t my best judgment.” She frowns. “I just didn’t want to be the one to tell Sarah. I didn’t want to hurt her.” Anne fidgets with her fingernails.

“End it, or I willsounds like a death threat. Would you agree?”

She hangs her head. “I can see that now. But that wasn’t my intention. I had planned on telling Sarah if Adam didn’t end it or didn’t tell her himself.”

“Did you ever see Kelly with anyone else?” Sheriff Stevens asks.

Anne glances around the room.

“What an odd question,” Matthew says from behind me.

“It is. Isn’t it?” I glance back at him and then return my attention to Anne and Sheriff Stevens. What is he getting at? What’s his angle?

“No.” Anne crinkles up her forehead.

“And where were you on the evening of Sunday, October 15th?”

“Like I said, I was having drinks with Sarah Morgan until around midnight.” Anne stares intently at Sheriff Stevens.

“She knew about Adam’s affair in the weeks leading up to the murder, and she didn’t say anything. Maybe if she would have told me, this wouldn’t have happened. Kelly would still be alive. I would have confronted Adam. We’d either be working toward reconciliation, or I’d be prepping divorce papers, but either way, he wouldn’t be on trial for murder.” I turn to look at Matthew for a moment.

He nods his head. “What’s done is done.”

I let out a sigh and redirect my attention back at Anne, glaring at her through the glass.I can’t believe she didn’t fucking tell me.A piece of my brain is telling me to erupt at Anne and before I can quiet it, I’m bursting through the door of the interrogation room.

“Sarah please…” but Anne’s words are cut short as I dive headlong across the table and tackle her to the ground. I start pummeling her face, pretending she is the manifestation of everyone who has fucked me over in my life. My knuckles and rings gouge into her skin. Sheriff Stevens tries to pull me off, but I elbow him in the nose and send him reeling. As Anne slowly climbs back to her feet, she tries to cry for help, but her mouth is so full of blood all that comes out is a weak gurgle and pink mist. I run over, grab her by the hair, begin to spin her around in circles, and then I release her straight through the one-way mirror. Pieces of glass rain everywhere, and I pick up a particularly jagged piece as I continue my rampage toward Anne…

I blink repeatedly bringing my mind back to reality. I see Anne and Sheriff Stevens sitting in the interrogation room. I need a break from this shit. My head is in the clouds right about now. Everyone I thought I could trust, I’ve learned I can’t. I don’t even know which emotion to pick, and I decide that getting some fresh air is my best course of action. I quickly get up.

Matthew asks if I’m all right. I nod and walk down the hall to find Marge still with her nose in her paperwork.

“Excuse me. Marge, is it? I’m heading outside for some air if that’s okay?”

“This isn’t kindergarten, ma’am. You don’t need my permission to walk in and out of a building,” Marge replies, still without looking up from her work.

“I just thought you would… Never mind.” I walk out the door. “Bitch,” I say under my breath.

Outside, the air feels like I’ve jumped into a cold pool as I cross the threshold of the sheriff’s department out into a temporary escape. I take in a deep breath and blow it out with force as I close my eyes for a second and try to clear my head. I’m trying to think of pure whiteness, a blank word document with not a single line of legalese on it. The monuments in D.C. just after being cleaned. My brain tries to mimic the color and clear itself, but rather than a purge I come face to face with a dark pool ofifs andwhys.

A wave of bullshit that comes crashing out of the depths and grabs me with a half dozen tentacles, trying to pull me down into the viscous blankness. I dig my heels in, but it is no use, I am helplessly dragged forward, no escape, no light within, but just as I am about to cross the event horizon, I open my eyes.

My heart rate has accelerated. This respite from the circus is anything but. I look up and see the myriad of dots painted across the nothing night sky stretched behind. I am envious of their isolation. “At least no one bothers you,” I say as a tear begins to well up in the corner of my eye. But no, the dam I have built up to stave off my emotions, for this case, for my career, for my marriage, it needs to hold… at least for a little while longer.

I dry my eye and turn to walk back inside.

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